Body image hypocrites....

On Friday, I got unfollowed on tumblr for my reply to this girl's post. Which I don't care because I don't want to follow or have someone following me who can't handle an opinion disagreeing with their own. Also, I really don't care when people unfollow me on tumblr (or twitter, or my blog or anywhere really) because follower count isn't important to me. If someone doesn't enjoy what I post, then that's fine and adios. My reply to her post is the big paragraph, in case you couldn't tell. In case you have a hard time since the text on the image isn't too large....

Her post: "if i was a guy, i'd want my girl with curves. who wants a bag of sticks?"

My reply: "You know some girls are naturally skinny despite efforts to put on weight& wish they had curves. It’s not always due to diet &exercise to stay that way & it’s just as insulting to call a skinny girl a bag of sticks as it is to call a curvy woman fat."

I posted this on my Tumblr on Friday but I want the post on this blog, too.

This post is in no way directed to the girl of the original post. She can have her opinion all she wants and I don't want to start any bullshit drama. The post itself did set me off and spawned this rant, though. It's aimed at the general public and in no way meant for only one person.

Things like the girl's post piss me off. It's just a couple lines but it was enough to annoy me because I see crap like that often. Everyone wants people to accept curvy women and not make them feel shame for not being thin. People want fat to be accepted by society without making people feel guilty or ashamed for the way they look. And I'm all for that. I hate that people put so much emphasis on weight, height and how a person looks in general. Our society as a whole is disgustingly judgmental and it makes me angry.

That goes for skinny, too. I see so many voluptuous and overweight women making fun of skinny women. Accusing them of anorexia, bulimia, starving themselves dieting ridiculously, etc. Making fun of how hard they must have to work out and how little they must eat. It's disgusting and just as bad as someone who makes fun of someone for being curvaceous or overweight. I know several skinny women who would give up a lot if they could gain weight and become curvy and they don't never eat and don't exercise obsessively to the point of being unhealthy.

Yes, I know being thin is what you get bombarded with in our society. TV, movies, advertisements, blah blah blah. Stop paying attention to it all. I'm not a size 3 and never will be and guess what? I don't feel bad about myself for it and I sure as hell don't care if some idiotic person decides they're going to judge me based solely on how I look.

Why be catty towards someone for being skinny? Why put them down? It's not any better than someone assuming a curvy or overweight person is lazy, never exercises, only eats junk food, etc. You don't want people saying hurtful things and judging you for how you look but then you turn around and do the same thing to someone else for being thin? And for out? Jealousy? Insecurity? Because you're preference is a larger size? You're not better than the people who make you feel like shit for the way you look.

Fuck. You.

You want all of this to stop? To stop being such a big deal? Stop being part of the problem. Stop wanting people to accept one thing while you make snide remarks about another. You're really no better than what you're fighting against. It will never not be an issue as long as people keep preaching for tolerance and acceptance of all standards of what's beautiful yet continue to single out and tear down others.

You're not fuckin' perfect & that's okay....

I wrote then posted this to my my Tumblr yesterday but wanted it here, too.

I hate when people try to cheer someone up or encourage them by saying, “stop, you’re perfect the way you are.” If that person is hating things about themselves, telling them they’re perfect that way isn’t the best way to make them feel better. Also, they’re not going to believe your cliche false comment anyway. No one is perfect. You want to really help? Tell them actual positive things that aren’t stupid.

Tell them they have a great sense of humor and you love how they make you laugh.

Tell them how you admire how creative they are.

Tell them how smart they are.

Tell them how they make the best cookies you’ve ever had.

Tell them they have pretty eyes.

Tell them you love the way they tell a story.

Tell them they’re stronger than they think they are.

Tell them something that’s TRUE and not something that reeks of fairytale happy ending bullshit.

That way when they think about it after you say it, they know you’re being genuine. And maybe, they’ll start to believe it and you will have actually helped them a little bit.

Telling someone they’re perfect to try and encourage them is just so stupid and unoriginal. Thinking up something specific about them that you like or think is great might be harder but it will mean more.

Happy Friday!

My argument with the random feminist girl about body hair removal....

I got into an argument with a girl around my age.

I was doing some shopping for some essentials and picked up some of that hair removal stuff. Kind of like Nair but a different brand and this was a gel, not a cream. I was reading the label when the girl I didn't know looked at what I was doing and felt a need to comment on it. Our exchange went like this.

Girl: "It's a shame women waste so much money on hair removal products. There's nothing shameful in having body hair. I haven't shaved, waxed, plucked or removed a hair from my body in years. I save so much money."

I stopped and looked around quickly, assuming she must be babbling to someone else. I was the only person on the aisle with her and she wasn't on the phone.

Me: "That's nice for you. I prefer not to have any body hair and don't mind spending the money on waxing, shaving, et cetera."

She made a "tsk tsk" sound then looked at me with this look that said, "Oh you poor misguided soul" that was a mix of what I read as pity and sympathy.

Girl: "Of course that's what you prefer because as women we're taught from an early age that we should shave the hair from our armpits and legs and thighs to be more desirable. You shouldn't be ashamed of your body hair."

I looked at her and contemplated ignoring her. I went with that tactic and picked up a different bottle to read. She wasn't deterred by that and proceeded to share her thoughts on the subject more.

Girl: "I'm not trying to be obnoxious. I'm just a feminist girl trying to reach out to another girl. I'm merely trying to help offer some insight."

Me: "Thanks but I'm not ashamed of my body hair. I just honestly prefer to not have any and always have."

Girl: "You don't get it. You think that way because that's what we, women, that's what we're taught to think and how we're taught to feel about it and men and hell society as a hole really -"

I cut her off there because I wasn't interested in having this debate.

Me: "Look, I get what you're saying. Before you start going on about the patriarchy or telling me that I'm brainwashed by what society says is acceptable based on an archaic notion, listen to what I'm saying. I shave and/or wax because I want to. I prefer the look of being shaved and prefer the feel of it, too. I hate having stubble and don't shave because I feel I have to. I do it because I want to, plain and simple. I appreciate your point of view and good for you but I don't appreciate you assuming all women are the same and shave because they feel like they have to just because that's the way you personally feel."

At that point, a store employee came up to us to see what was going on. Apparently, I raise my voice when I get aggravated. That ended the argument because the girl just glared at me, glared at the employee, dropped the things she was carrying and presumably left the store.

Now, I have no problem with women who don't want to shave. Guess what? You don't have top shave, wax, pluck, tweeze, or do anything to your body that you don't want to. If you don't do it because you feel like you're standing up for the right not to do it, more power to you. Maybe you just prefer it that way. I don't pretend to know why people do what they do because unless you ask, you don't likely know. I don't care if you never remove a single hair from your body. If that's what you want, do your thing and don't be ashamed of the choice you make.

If you want to remove the hair from your body, as I choose to do, do it because you want to do it. I've let my body hair go before and personally, I don't like the way it feels. I like the way my jeans feel against clean shaven skin versus hair and vice versa. It's just my preference. I don't do it because I feel like I have to to be more attractive or because it's what's acceptable by society's standards. If you're doing it for that reason, try skipping it for a while and see how you feel about it then. You might like it or you might hate it and find even if hair removal is a pain in the ass that it's a pain in the ass worth dealing with.

My problem is with people like that girl. I've heard other people in real and seen people online making this argument. I've seen blog posts, forum threads and other debates about it. If you stop shaving because you feel like you're standing up for the right not to, that's fine, but DON'T assume that everyone that does it is doing it because they feel like they have to for whatever reasons. Sure, there are people that do it because they feel like they have to but not everyone feels that way. To assume so and to lecture people without knowing what you're talking about is ridiculous and stupid.

And before anyone says it, I know not all feminists are like that girl. I'm not attacking feminists or people who don't remove their body hair. I'm just going off on presumptuous people who aren't as open-minded and non-judgmental as they think they are. In my opinion, assuming everyone does something for the same reason you decide not to do it is a narrow minded way to look at things.

Happy Friday!

An e-mail from a reader...

**REMEMBER: I want y'all to send me pictures! If you already have, thank you! I want to see trees, sunshine, lips, booze, boobs, pets, toys, rain, shoes, candy, random street signs, legs, bright colors, piercings, silly face shots, beaches, whatever you want to send me. Pervy isn't discouraged but isn't a must. Most of the pictures I have so far aren't pervy at all but they're all pretty awesome. On Monday, I will post a very image heavy post to show off all the pictures I have received. Go here to read all the details. Come on, it'll be fun!**

So, if you follow me on Twitter, you might have seen me bitching and laughing over an obnoxious piece of email I received yesterday in regard to my Physical Flaws post. I contemplated posting it and was encouraged to do so by quite a few people who wanted to see what the e-mail said thought it would be a good idea.

Here is the e-mail. I'm not going to edit it so deal with the grammar and misspelled words, lol.

"AMOROUS I have read your blog for several years and I enjoy a lot of what you put out there you are an open and honest person and I respect admire that. I have to say that when you talk about flaws and being insecure physically it pisses me off. I see you talk about on your post today about how you have flaws and have things you dont like about you and all I think is

BOOHOO CRY MY A FUCKING RIVER LITTLE GIRL

SORRY but your post about your SO CALLED (BULLSHIT!!!) FLAWS REALLY set me off and put me a fire under my ass. You dont get how LUCKY you are to be a pretty girl and not have to deal with the PLIGHT of being UGLY. YOU JUST DONT GET IT! Im emal you HOPING you realize that you DONT HAVE JACKSHIT to cry about and Im ONLY saying this to HELP YOU.

MUST SUCK to be such pretty girl and have to cry about being upset and insecure over your ears nose butt and neck. GIVE ME A BREAK! Waaa waaa waaa! Go THRU LIFE being the UGLY girl that guys only want to be FRIENDS with and that PRETTY GIRLS LIKE YOU only hang out with because your smart and can help them keep their grades up. Have boys look at you like an alien or another guy but never see you as anything special.

GO THRU LIFE being the UGLY woman at work that the PRETTY WOMEN LIKE YOU only assosciate with because I will and can help them get there projects done. The UGLY woman who has to sit alone during lunch because all the pretty women have gone off WITHOUT INVITING the UGLY woman to go eat with them! Having to listen to them yammer on about their dates and their hook ups and seeings guys in the office flutter around after them because theyre pretty and then hearing those whiney whelps complain about their pathetic lives like they dont have it EASIER being pretty.Having guys in the office ignore you because youre UGLY. Having to openly glare at them day after day seeing there smug little faces as they laugh at me as I glare at them. There still PRETTY so what do they care that I know what they say and hate there being for it?? Doesnt hurt them at all!!!

You have NO CLUE how easy you have it!! Guys probably FLOCK to you. Buy you drinks. Offer you things! Give you the COMPLEMENT of coming over to say hell JUST BECAUSE they think your pretty. I NEVER get flirted with. You dont know what its like to be UGLY WOMAN in the room who works up the COURAGE make eye contact with a man ONLY to have him look up me up and down and DISMISS me beccause Im not pretty enough for them. Going on blind dates and seeing looks of DISAPPOINTMENT on there faces because they hoped for something MORE, someone PRETTIER than ME!

Must be nice to be PRETTY GIRL and have only PETTY things to bitch about. OH MY NOSE IS BIG OH I HATE MY FAT FOREHEAD OH MY BIG EARS MAKE ME LOOK LIKE DUMBO OH MY LONG NECK MAKES ME LOOK LIKE A GIRAFFE OR OH MY FAT ASS LOOKS FAT . BOOHOO bitch! GROW UP!! GET OVER IT!!!

You whine and CRY about your PETTY INSIGNIFICENT LITTLE "FLAWS" but you really have NOTHING to be upset and whining about! YOUR THE PRETTY GIRL here and you whining and crying about these dumb little things just MAKE YOU LOOK STUPID AND IMMATURE! WAAA WAAA WAA! Save the pity party because you aint got NOTHING to be pitying yourself about!!!

-Sassy Lindsay"

I used to be insecure about my entire body. I was always bigger than other girls. Even as a little kid, I was taller than all the other girls. I had broader shoulders, bigger feet and I wasn't fat but I wasn't skinny and petite like all the other girls in school. I was a tomboy through and through. I played sports and I didn't get along with girls. I didn't identify with the things they liked. I didn't giggle and laugh at other people.

I hit puberty early and I hit it hard. I never even owned a training bra because I seemingly went from no boobs to big boobs. I was in 5Th grade and transferred from a private school to a public school a couple months into the first semester. I was taller, bigger and I had actual boobs. Of course, they started the rumors that I stuffed my bra. I played sports and had muscular legs, so I was a "lesbo" and I sat every single day at lunch by myself because I was awkward and didn't fit in.

I felt fat. I felt ugly. I felt disgusting and wrong. I had mostly guy friends and yeah, once I was full into puberty, I noticed different changes. The big boobs, the butt, the hips, the changes in my face. The fact that when I played football with my guy friends they weren't sure how to tackle me anymore so they often didn't.

Just because some people think I'm pretty doesn't mean everyone thinks that way. It also doesn't mean I get life handed to me on a silver platter.

It doesn't mean I've never been turned down by a guy or girl I liked. Through puberty, I was still a tomboy. I played softball and hockey. I did track and field. I did basketball. I'm still a tomboy for the most part honestly. Back then though, I had my family telling me what a pretty girl I was becoming. When I finally started digging guys, I had issues there because I was such a tomboy and guys always got to know me and I ended up being just friends. I was "too cool" and "too much like one of the guys" to be someone they wanted to date.

I've had guys and girls I like not be attracted to me. It happens. I've been called amazon because I have big feet and broad shoulders. I think I need those broad shoulders to help hold up these huge boobs, lol. I don't let it get to me. There will be other people who will find me attractive and people who won't. I have an amazing guy in my life now so why worry about all the other guys and girls who turned me down or wouldn't give me a second look?

I don't care if my physical insecurities seem petty, silly, ridiculous, stupid and insignificant to other people. I don't care who thinks it's silly that I'm insecure about having my neck exposed, my ears out in plain view, my nose being too big and my forehead being too wide. Those are the things I'm insecure about and those things are things I'll have to get over on my own.

It has taken me years to be comfortable in my skin and accept as much as I have about myself. It has taken me years to not loathe every physical thing about me. It has taken me a lot of work to undo all the emotional damage I have done to myself. All the berating myself, thinking down on myself, calling myself names and emotionally and mentally beating myself up and tearing myself down day after day. Everyone has something or several somethings that they're insecure about. Just because this person and other people look at me and see a pretty girl doesn't mean that's what I look at and see. If I could see myself and see me the way my boyfriend does, the way some of my close friends do, the way some of you do; I wouldn't have any insecurities. I'd have a much better self image. I can't do that though and I'm going to be insecure about things. I used to NEVER look in mirrors because I so hated everything I saw. I wouldn't even look in reflective glass because I couldn't stand the reflection. I have come a long way from where I used to be.

"Sassy Lindsay", I don't think you being physically ugly has anything at all to do with why the girls and guys in your life treat you the way they do. I think it's your ugly attitude. Maybe you're open disdain and hostility towards them because they're pretty has something to do with it. It may be your bitchy, bitter, ugly attitude that does you in and not the exterior. Guys might not pass you by if you were a bit nicer. Maybe if you stopped being so judgmental of others, they wouldn't be so judgmental of you. If you dropped that bitter, ugly chip off your shoulder you might be better off all around.

Have a good weekend y'all.

That's when I made my great escape....

Everyone has things they are self conscious about. Me? I'm self conscious about several things.

Things that lots of other people are self conscious about as well. My big butt. My big hips. My big boobs. Though, I've become less self conscious about my boobs and more accepting of them. Partly because of just learning to be comfortable in my skin, part of it because of other things and another smaller part that I will attribute to playing HNT.

My broad shoulders. I've always had broad shoulders for a girl. I suppose it makes sense. I need something to help support those giant boobs right? It's always made me feel like a shorter Amazon woman though.

My big feet. I wear a size 10 and often have trouble finding shoes I like in my size. For some reason, apparently, girls with big feet only like to wear ugly shoes. Go figure. Not. When it comes to my Vans and DC's, I often just buy guys shoes because I can find things I like in my size.

My ears. To me, I have big ears. I also think they look strange. I'm not sure why honestly. I just like to pick myself apart. I've always felt awkward and self conscious about my ears though. Which is why I almost never tuck my hair behind my ears or wear my hair pulled back. I do love my cartilage piercing though. It's probably my favorite piercing despite that it bled the most when I got it done in the piercing parlor. I love it but people that don't know me often don't even know the piercing exists. I feel rather silly admitting that I'm self conscious about my ears but oh well. ;)

I love MySpace. I don't care how many people talk bad about it or how many people find it annoying. I've moved a LOT in my short life. I'm 23 and have moved more than 20 times. A lot of those I was moving around the same area but still, I didn't live in towns so small that people on the other side of town knew half of everyone on the other side of town. So it was always new people. I've made a lot of friends in my home state of Texas and more friends in California. I have friends who have gone away to college and then ended up moving and staying there because they liked the area better. Friends who have joined the military and moved across the US and some even to different countries. I have friends who have moves overseas. Friends who moved here and there. MySpace provides a fun and convenient way for all of us to stay in touch with friends as well as family. As well as allow me a little more access to the lives of bloggers I've become internet friends with. I know a lot of people hate social networking websites because they say they're only good for causing drama and other trouble. I actually did a post on that theory here so y'all know how I feel about that. I disagree and don't believe that the social networking websites are the cause of the drama. If you missed it or need a reminder, click the link to open it in a new window and check out the post. So here's a screen shot of a group of shots off my MySpace pictures. Of course, I covered some up with others that are in my MySpace photo albums. I'm not plastering my boyfriend's face on my blog. He wouldn't appreciate it so I won't do that. Don't forget to click for a non-MySpace shot. ;)

Happy Thursday y'all!!!!!