Pictures, pictures & more pictures...

Wordless Wednesday......
(Image heavy. Not my own photos. Not totally wordless. ;D)

Happy Wednesday!

Zombie Brew! Plus,,, Moneyball, Rangers & Stars!

The Boyfriend got me a few things last night, just because he's awesome and likes to get me gifts randomly for no real reason. He got me two new paperbacks I've been wanting but have yet to buy myself and a new coffee mug complete with a zombie buddy! I know some of you might be unsure of what exactly a "zombie buddy" is since I wasn't sure until last night myself, heh. So, here you go....

Adorable, right? Okay, maybe not to most people but I dig it. Cute little plushy thing and a new coffee mug to go along with two new books. Awesome stuff, for sure.

Keeping with the theme here, here's a recipe for Adult Zombie Brew. Although this won't be going in the coffee cup. ;)

1 oz. Light Rum
1 oz. Gold Rum
1 oz. Dark Rum
1 tsp. 151 Rum
1/2 oz. Apricot Brandy (Or cherry brandy)
2 oz. Orange Juice (Or papaya juice)
1 oz. Pineapple Juice
1 oz. Lime Juice
1 tsp. Sugar
1 cup Crushed Ice

In a blender, combine all ingredients except the 151 with crushed ice. Blend at a high speed until smooth and pour into a Collins glass. Float the 151 rum on top and garnish with a maraschino cherry. To make it on the rocks, add all ingredients except 151 rum into a cocktail shaker with 1/4 a cup of ice, shake well, strain into a glass with 1/2 cup or desired amount of ice. Float 151 rum on top, garnish with maraschino cherry.

I love Halloween. It's by far my favorite holiday and even though most people only celebrate it for the one day, I pretty much enjoy it all month long, haha. :D

Aside from all of that......

The Boyfriend and I went to see Moneyball last night. Not bad at all. Kind of long and a little slow to get going but still a good movie. Even if it is about one of the teams I dislike most in baseball, haha. :D That's pretty much irrelevant. Even though the movie is based off the Billy Beane and the A's story, the movie is pretty much about the way Beane changed things up. Which I won't talk much about the movie in case any of you reading want to see it but haven't yet. Definitely go see it! Unless you don't like movies about sports, being the underdog, trying something unorthodox and attempting to succeed when everyone's telling you you're wrong.

Speaking of, RANGERS ARE IN THE ALCS! Game two was supposed to be yesterday but got postponed due to all the rain Arlington saw on Saturday night. I saw a lot of people bitching about it being postponed but I was happy about it. The field was too wet. Do you really want poor playing conditions to help dictate a game? Wet field means people could slip, slide and miss plays they normally would have made because of it. I don't want that happening and am happy they postponed the game. Texas won game one and now we need to win three more to go to the World Series for the second year in a row. EXCITING! :D

Also in sports, The Boyfriend and I are going to the Stars game tonight against Pacific Division rivals, the Phoenix Coyotes. We went to the home opener Friday night against the Blackhawks, where the Stars won in spectacular, energetic fashion. They played back to back with the Hawks, facing them again Saturday night, in Chicago. Goaltending was off and most of the team didn't play well. Adam Burish looked awesome (he did miss the game Friday though since he's been working on coming back from a groin injury) and he looks great player on Fiddler's line, in my opinion. They're both speedy and I like the chemistry they seem to have going so far. I'm hoping for a good effort from the team tonight. Yay hockey being back!

Happy Monday!

All my friends said...

Okay, so not all of my friends but here are some of the things I had sent to me via text message by a few of my drunks friends last night. And no, I won't type them exactly as they're typed to me because horruibkle drumnk text is annoying to read. Plus, the messages are amusing enough without all the typos.

First up, we have a tale of an inflatable couch....

T: "Hey! I need your help please!

Me: "Something wrong?"

T: "Yes. I need you to come over NOW and help me get the inflatable couch out of the swimming pool. I can't do it by myself and the couch is getting wet."

Me: "Do not get into the pool drunk. Leave the couch in there, just let it drown. Also, where the hell did you get an inflatable couch."

T: "Oh came over with it! Cool right?"

Me: "Why did she bring an inflatable couch over?"

T: "Oh uh, she said she wanted my dog to have a couch to sit on."

Me: "Interesting. And how did the couch get into the pool?"

T: "Reily didn't like having his own couch."

Me: "That doesn't explain how it got into the pool."

T: "I don't know. I just know it's in the pool and I don't want it to keep getting wet and I don't want it to drown."

Me: "It'll be fine. Unless there's a hurricane in the pool over night, then it'll be destroyed."

Which I shouldn't have said since I spent the next 5 minutes convincing him that there wouldn't be a hurricane in his pool and another 3 minutes convincing him it wouldn't drown in the pool and then another 2 minutes convincing him to leave the inflatable couch alone and go back inside. If only I could have found a way to get there unnoticed, deflate the couch and sink it to the bottom of the pool, haha.

Next......

A: "You know what's a bad decision? Putting crunched up chipotle ranch potato chips onto a peanut butter and jelly sandwich and then dipping it into Italian salad dressing. Sadly not the worst decision I'm going to make tonight."

Me: "A good friend doesn't sleep with his friend's sister. Especially after eating that kind of garbage. Can you imagine if you have to throw that up later? And throw up while on top of her?"

A: "THAT'S FUCKING NASTY....and it's his cousin not sister and they're only cousins by marriage so that doesn't count as real family anyway."

Me: "It still counts, they've been cousins since they were toddlers. Rationalize it any way you want, you're still a douche in the morning."

A: "How can you cockblock me when you're not even here? Asshole haha."

Me: "You know you're still going to do it anyway."

A: "BAZINGA!"
"Or some other one word catch phrase that would fit better there."


Next....

H: "I just drank out of a beer bottle someone peed into. Should I go to the hospital? I already threw up."

Me: "Haha. Nah, you'll be okay."

H: "You sure? When I puked it was in 's hot tub. Should I go tell him?"

Before I could respond...

H: "No wait don't tell him I told you that I did that please! I'm not going to say anything to get back at him for that one time he made out with my girlfriend before I broke up with her. I'm gonna go piss on his guitar now too but don't tell him that either."

For the record, I don't even know the person he was referring to. Telling him would have been pretty impossible even if I wanted to, lol.

And that does it for this episode of drunk texts.

Have a great Saturday, y'all!

We went out last night....

So last night..........

• I had a random girl offer me $1 to motorboat me on the dance floor.
  
• Made fun of a cop who was making fun of me & didn't get in any trouble. Usually talking back to cops is a bad idea, they get pissy because they can. He was good natured.
  
• Had a random girl smack my ass then ask to hang out with my friends & I bc she was bored with who she came with (sister, fiancée, fiancée's sister.)
• Ran into an ex from 10 years ago & met her new boyfriend who was more than a bit shocked his girlfriend even had an ex girlfriend.
  
• Had a girl at the table next to ours look at me & say, "arr I fuck like a pirate" whom I then high-fived.
• Sang a song with the cover band because we were right by the stage when dancing & the lead singer saw me singing along so came over & told me to sing it with him, sat down and put the mic between us. This was of course after he had tried to buy me a drink during their first break so I think he was probably just trying to flirt with me more but whatever, it was fun.
  
• Saw a girl that had danced with me & some of my friends earlier hit another girl over the head with a beer glass & then get arrested while her boyfriend stayed inside continuing to drink with his friends as she was escorted out & screaming at him to help her.
• Had an older lady that was drunk off her ass hug me and give me a kiss on the cheek as I was standing by the bar with The Lawyer because she thought I smelled nice and looked like I could use a hug. Her "motherly instincts" told her so. She smelled like vodka, cigarettes and cats.
  
• Tyler almost got into it with a guy because the guy kept hitting on Tyler's boyfriend and wouldn't back off and leave Z alone. At one point, after he had been told Z wasn't interested and to back off, he stepped between Tyler and Z while they were dancing so he could try and dance with Z. That's when Tyler lost it and almost hit the dude. They had a confrontation for a minute, one of the cops patrolling in the bar came over and the other guy finally went away and stayed away.
• Had a guy that was trying to flirt with me ask me if my cranberry juice tasted good because he's never had it before and he always wondered if it was good.
• Had another guy that offered to buy me a water after I said I wasn't drinking and then said I would have to dance with me if he paid for my water. I informed him water was free and I wouldn't under any circumstances be dancing with him. He then offered to buy me a real drink. I almost smacked him but settled with telling him to go away.
  
• Got glitter all over me because my friends co-worker threw tiny handfuls of electric blue glitter on everyone (it was premeditated, girl doesn't just carry around a baggy with glitter in it) because she was "making it rain Ke$ha style."
  

I wasn't even drunk for any of this because I was one of the sober drivers in our group last night. So, crazy night but I had a lot of fun. It was funny because I've been so down lately that I literally had to make myself go out last night instead of laying around at home watching stuff on NetFlix. Then I almost just called it off because I really didn't want to go anywhere but I never do that and I always hate when people bail on plans last minute. And I was the one who planned this thing because I knew if I planned it then I'd have to go because I never back out on stuff unless I have a really good reason to. It was the first night I've even left the house to do something other than family stuff since my grandfather passed away last week. For my birthday, I just had dinner with my family and went home for the night. I didn't feel like doing anything else even though I had several people offer to take me out to do fun stuff. I just passed on it all with an apology that I didn't feel like it because I knew I was down and didn't think I'd be fun to be around. Also, I usually hang out with various friends during the week here and there as time/scheduling allows but I haven't wanted to go, do or see anything or anyone. Between all the crazy antics that went on that only took up a couple minutes at a time, there was a lot of dancing, talking and laughing with my friends. Then last night ended up being one of the most fun and entertaining nights I've had in a long time. Which is really what I needed.

Happy Sunday, y'all!

Happy Father's Day to all the dads!

Sunday run down on Tuesday...

Sunday is my only day off every week. It's also pretty much the only day I get to see and spend time with my boyfriend so we spend all day and night together doing stuff. I had a great day yesterday.

The Boyfriend and I went to see OVO by Cirque Du Soleil. The show was amazing. It was my first time seeing a Cirque show and I totally enjoyed it. Yesterday was the last day the show was in town before moving on so I was really happy we got to see it. We originally weren't going to go because the tickets are kind of expensive but The Boyfriend found out he gets discounted tickets through a website because of the company he works for. So, we got 2 tickets for a little more than what 1 cost. If the show comes to your city or a city near you, you should totally go see it. It was so good I wanted to see it again, lol.

After that, we went for a late lunch at my favorite Mexican place.

Then we went to look at furniture, kitchen stuff and etc. We weren't buying anything, just looking to get an idea of what we want and what we'll be getting first when we get our own place again. Which will happen soon if shit with our cars will stop breaking, lol.

After that, we went to check out a few things in a shopping center. Again, didn't buy anything.

Then we went to see a movie. The Boyfriend wanted to see "Drive Angry" so we did. I was hoping it would be good or that the amount of action in it would make up for it being bad but no dice. I'm seriously happy we never pay for movie tickets, lol.

After that, we went to a bar The Boyfriend wanted to check out. They have vintage video games (Pacman, Street Fighter, TRON, Galaga, etc), skee ball, giant Connect Four and Giant Jenga. The giant Jenga was totally fun.



It was a lot of fun and the bar's drinks were super cheap which is also awesome. We didn't play the big Connect Four game they had out on the patio but I want to some time, lol.

I got home and decided in my drunken state that we needed to get Netflix. So, we started our free trial last night and I'm pretty sure we'll keep it once the trial is over.

Monday, I got some errands done and while I was doing laundry I was watching That 70's Show through Netflix... for two and a half hours, lol. Then I had to stop and go to work. I know I'm late on the whole Netflix thing but whatever, we couldn't afford it (and yes, I know it's not expensive but still) and now we can so it's exciting to me, lol. We don't have cable or satellite so now I can watch movies I want without having to hit up a RedBox in hopes they have a movie I want to see. And I can watch the few TV shows I like, too. So, all in all it seems pretty damn cool. :D

Happy Tuesday!

Drunk tweeting...

I have one day off a week and it's always Sunday. I don't usually work until mid-afternoon on Mondays so I tend to like to relax most of the day Sunday and go out that night since it's the only time during the weekend (or at all) that I have free to do something fun. So Sunday night, the Boyfriend and I watched hockey all day. Then went to dinner, then went to have drinks. More so, I drank while he had water and we kept each other entertained. It feels good to just relax with a foamy green drink, playing scrabble in a booth and having a good time. And definitely being out of the house and not being at work are two big pluses. I digress. I really shouldn't be allowed to keep my phone in my hand when I start drinking because I want to tweet. And sometimes text. Mostly, I know my friend's schedules and I don't text them when I run the risk of waking them up. I'm considerate like that.

So I'm sharing a few of the things I tweeted while at the bar Sunday night.

Tweets:

"just made the boyfriend listen to "drunken sailor" by blaggards just for the part where they talk about shaving balls w/ a rusty razor, haha"

"My hair smells good enough to eat, if you like coconut flavor. And eating hair. Trying to eat or harm my hair will get you punched, though."

"I just thought of something. There needs to be a strip club where only Suicide Girl-esque girls work & only dance to punk, metal, etc."

That third tweet was the most popular, even though it was Sunday night and I tweeted it after midnight. My timeline was slow but people came out of the woodwork to chime in on that opinion. I knew more of you were still up and just lurking about late at night. ;)

Also, that's one of the best ideas I've ever had. I need to get a loan or a really rich business partner and make that club happen.

The band I mentioned in the first tweet is now following me on Twitter. Which is cool because I found out not only are they a cool Irish Rock band but they're also from Houston so they're a cool Irish Rock band from Texas. Which is even better.

I also tend to tweet pictures of random things around me when I tweet and drink. For some reason, most of those didn't post last night. Which is sad because there were some cool shots. I'll just have to repost them to my Tumblr when I have some free time. ;)

Happy Tuesday!

Dear alcohol, drugs & pain, make me better please?

I love that I can have a drink or two or three now and not feel the need to keep going until I’m smashed. Since I started drinking as a teenager, I’ve always drank to get drunk. Sure, I enjoyed the way a lot of it tasted but I was drinking for the effects. To feel happy, to feel numb. So, I drank until I was happy then I drank until I was numb and for the night, I felt better. Which is why I drank so often. I wanted those feelings as much as I could get them and that was the only way I ever felt good. Outwardly, I seemed mostly okay. As a teenager, I think a lot of people just assumed it was normal teenage angst bullshit. Normal growing pains. Just... normal shit most teens go through. I remember a few times saying I had issues and being told I didn't. That I was going through what everyone went through. I wanted to scream about how I doubted everyone laid in bed at night thinking of ways to die. I doubt everyone laid in bed at night, every night, crying. Crying because they were sad, hurting, felt alone and hated who they were. I doubt everyone took showers so hot that they're skin burned and turned red because they embraced being in pain because pain was easier to deal with then sadness, loneliness, self loathing and other things. I doubt everyone else abused Nyquil and other medications they found in the house so they could sleep or so they could feel better mentally and emotionally. And I doubt everyone else used razorblades and knives to cut their skin up because again, physical pain is easier to deal with. I still have some scars on my thighs and legs from some of the cuts I made when I was a teenager. I did them in places no one would see them because I didn't want attention from it. I just wanted the adrenaline rush that came first followed by the pain that came second.

Yeah, I wasn't going through normal shit but I didn't feel like I could ever tell anyone either. So after the first time I got drunk as a teenager, I found something better than causing myself pain to escape how miserable I felt. Sadly, I still cut until my very early twenties. I digress. I drank to feel good. I loved the burn of taking shots the best and never chased them with anything. Except maybe another shot. A little bit of pain along with the pleasant fuzziness that would soon follow with enough shots.

I started smoking weed as a teenager, too. It was just another way for me to feel better. I always felt content and relaxed when I was high. I didn't feel content or relaxed any other time. I used other drugs, too. I did ecstasy. I popped Xanax bars and other muscle relaxers and anti-depressants. I did cocaine. I drank. I got high. I did anything to feel better.

Then, it got to a point where I could do all the drugs I wanted and drink until I was hammered and it still wasn't enough. That's when I was most afraid for myself. I was so reckless. I did some really stupid things. I just didn't care about myself. I thought about asking for help so many times. I cried and screamed. I sobbed and laid in the floor curled up like a little shaking ball of misery more nights than I care to remember. I just wanted to feel better but I just couldn't bring myself to ask for help. I was afraid that I'd be told I'd need it. I was afraid I'd get it and still not be able to fix whatever was wrong with me more.

I quit doing drugs after one night where I mixed too much shit together. After that night, one of my best friends at the time made me flush every ounce of weed I had. He made me get rid of the little bit of cocaine I had and all the pills, too. I cried and sobbed. I yelled at him. I punched him. He dealt with me acting like a brat for over an hour until I finally got rid of everything.

I kicked the drug habit but I kept drinking. And since I had gotten rid of doing drugs, I started drinking more. And more. And more. I could have 20 shots of something strong and still be standing. Still remember everything I'd done the next day. Not be hungover because I never get hangovers. I could drink dangerous amounts of liquor and then go home and pass out. Then do it again the next day.

People around me knew I had a problem. I knew I had a problem. Some people in my life reached out to me. There was a little intervention of sorts. I don't remember the point of that honestly other than getting me to acknowledge my drinking problem and getting me to acknowledge that I was miserable and loathed the person that I was. And that I was so very lost, confused and quite miserable. And that I often felt like the world would be a better place without me in it. Mission accomplished, I admitted all of that and probably more. I still didn't seek help, though I should have. I had other issues, too. I had PTSD from being in an armed robbery and refused to deal with any of that and hid in a bottle from that, too. I had a lot going on in my head and I tried to just drown it all with booze.

In July of 2009, I moved in with my boyfriend after having been together for 3 years already at that point. He put up with a lot from me. He helped me so much. I moved back home to Texas from California and I started really working on myself. I wanted to be happy. I had never truly been happy, not really. I'd go for days or weeks where I'd be fine or think I felt fine but I wasn't.

The turning point for me was going to a graduation ceremony. My boyfriend's friend was graduating the police academy. One of the officers at the ceremony gave the most amazing speech I've ever heard in my life. It was inspiring and I had to fight so hard not to sit there and bawl my eyes out. It was incredibly inspiring to me and at the same time, it was a huge slap in the face to get myself fixed. So, after that, I wrote down the things he had said that had touched me the most. I read them and used them. I started working through my issues. I started talking to my boyfriend more about some things. I started talking to a couple of my closest friends about things, too. I read a couple books and talked to a friend's aunt a few times because she's a therapist. I couldn't see her professionally because I didn't have the money to. She talked to me plenty of times and helped me figure out the ways to work out a few things I needed to. The rest, I figured out myself.

In the last year, I've worked a lot of shit out, made changes, done things differently and overall? It hasn't been easy and at times, I've wanted to just give in and go crawl back into a bottle. Or go grab a knife from the kitchen and cut into my skin. I wouldn't give in to anything. I was determined I'd get over my shit and get on with life and be happy about it dammit, lol. And, I did. I'm the happiest I've ever been in my life right now.

I can drink now just because I enjoy the taste of something or just because I want to have a few drinks. I don’t drink for the effects getting drunk offered. I’m happy now without the aid of booze. About a year and a half ago, I'd want a drink to feel good but now? I don't want or need liquor to feel good. I don’t ever feel so alone or sad or desperate that I want to drink to feel good and then keep drinking until I just feel numb. Now, I can have a few drinks and feel good because I enjoy a good drink. I can have a few drinks without having 12 or more. I can get a pleasant buzz going and just enjoy that. I don't feel the need, the desperation, to drink and drink until I feel happy and then numb. I can just enjoy without going to that place. I can have a drink and be okay because I’m not using alcohol to escape and feel better for a night. And that's all it was; a temporary escape for a few hours. No substance I abused and no method of physical pain did anything but give me a distraction, an escape. It was only temporary and I hid within all of those distractions for far too long.

I'm proud of myself for being able to have the strength to do what I needed to do. I'm still working on some issues I have. Hell, who doesn't have some shit they need to work through honestly? It's nothing too major, though. I'm getting myself on track and doing what I need to do to have the kind of life I want to have. It's not always easy but I just tell myself every damn day I start to doubt myself that it will be worth it. That I can do it and that I just need to believe in myself.

Happy Tuesday.

Um, pardon me Officer but...

First.... I was totally bummed out about something yesterday. One of my favorite bands is Type O Negative. They're one of the few bands I really dig that I haven't got to see play live yet. Now, totally won't happen because the band's frontman Peter Steele passed away yesterday. I don't usually get sad when celebrities die because usually it's not someone I'm a fan of. I know that sounds cold but it's the truth. I find death sad but dozens of people die every day, it's no more sad just because one of them was in a dozen movies. Once in a while though, I get why people are sad when a celebrity they like dies. Type O's music resonated with me in a lot of ways. I got through some hard shit blasting their tunes and getting lost in the lyrics that I understood quite well. It's sad he's gone but hey, maybe he's in a better place now. You can read the official statement here if you want to.

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I get A LOT of questions on my formspring account. I answered 20 something yesterday and I still have some sitting in my inbox waiting for an answer. So you know, if you didn't see your question answered, it's probably still there waiting on me to answer it. ;) I usually get 5 - 10 or more a day and I tend to not feel like answering them a lot, so they build up. I get a lot of questions I delete too. Some people are just rude and disrespectful. Some people say catty, pathetic things anonymously that they don't have the nerve to say to me otherwise. I love how some people get the biggest balls when they're able to hide behind anonymity. Other questions I delete are ones that I find to be "too much" in sexual nature. As open as I generally am, even where sex is concerned, you can use your imagination to try and think up some of the things I must be getting asked if I deem them "too much" and delete them. I guess that falls under getting big balls under the anonymity as well. I went off on a bit of a tangent here and none of this has to do with the real point of my post, lol.

I get a lot of questions. Despite the bad ones and the tasteless comments that get left, I still get a lot of questions I do leave to answer. A lot of them are random and what a lot of people would call "useless information" to be honest. Sometimes, I wonder why someone would want to know what I had for dinner tonight but hey, it's whatever. You ask and I'm very likely going to answer. I get a lot of really good ones too.

Yesterday, I had someone ask me a question and it spawned one of my absolute favorite stories to tell. I don't think I've ever told it on my blog. At the time it happened, I was 18 and while I did have this blog; I was more into drinking, partying and drugs and wasn't updating very often at all. I pretty much updated when I went to my parents house and used their computer to do so because we didn't have internet at the apartment my roommates and I shared. We could have had internet but you know, booze, drugs and general partying were more important than the interwebz. And blogging. I only have a couple people (as far as I know) that still read me that did way back then. So cool to those people. Anyway, check out the question and enjoy the answer I gave. It was fun re-telling it. =)

do you have any funny stories that involve you and the police?

YES! OH MY GOSH. This is probably my favorite story to tell even though it happened like 6 years ago, lol.

So I was living in South Texas, real close to South Padre. A bunch of friends and I had gone to the beach because there was a big bonfire party going on out there. Everyone was drinking and having a good time. There were 2 kegs and cases upon cases of beer as well as some other stuff. There were about 50 people there and it was a great time.

I was the designated driver for the night so when the party was winding down in the wee hours of the morning, we decided to leave and start heading back off the island.

One of my best friends at the time (RIP honey) was soo hammered. I was driving my car at the time (a Ford Focus) and had 4 drunk guys packed into it with me, lol. Now my super hammered friend tells me while I'm on the highway, maybe 15 minutes from his house, that he has to puke. I'm like, fuck that, there's a gas station up here soon, I'll get you there. So, it's late as hell (or early as hell, lol) and the highway is mostly empty. So I punch it to do 80 to get to the gas station. I failed to see a cop on the shoulder but he didn't miss me and pulled me over. I cringed, told my friend he better not fucking puke in my car and waited for the cop to get to the window.

He asked me where I was in such a "damn rush" to get to. I told him my friend (who was thankfully of age to be a lush, lol) had drank too much and was going to throw up so I had been in a rush to get to the gas station. The one that I was so close to. Literally, we were maybe 50 feet from the exit. It was like 60 seconds away. Damn, him. I digress. He wanted to check my ID, asked if I had been drinking. I said no. He wanted everyone else to present their ID's because they were all drunk. They were all 21 at least so no big deal. Then, my best buddy says "I'm about to fucking puke, I'm going to get out of the car and puke!"

The cops tells my buddy to remain in the vehicle. My buddy is not going to puke in the car, so he exited the vehicle. The cop stalked quickly around the vehicle telling my friend to get back in the car. The cop grabbed my friend, shook him lightly and asked if he had anything (weapons or drugs) on him. My friend said no and said he really was about to puke and that's all he was out of the car for. The cop, still holding on to him, began to say, "I don't give two shits...." and then my friend started hurling. ALL OVER THE COP. After a few seconds, the cop let him go and let him finish puking. The cop had puke on his arms, pants legs and shoes.

My friends in the car were all so scared we were all going to get in trouble and I was trying not to laugh, honestly.

The cop walked back around to the drivers side to me and very calmly told me to get my friend home and to watch my speeding. He handed me a warning but no ticket and then walked back to his car.

Happy Friday!

Click to comment ;)

Black Cherry Beer...

Lindeman's Kriek Black Cherry Lambic.

These pictures are from several months ago. I think it was either in December or January, I can't even remember. I don't like beer as a general rule but going to beer bars earlier in the year with the Boyfriend and some friends, I found some stuff that I really dig. I've also tried a lot of stuff that was disgusting. This fruity beer is so good though. Kind of expensive but the taste makes it worth it. Unfortunately, I've only had this once because yeah, pricey, lol. I've tried several other beverages by Lindeman's and as far as fruity beers go, the Black Cherry has been my favorite so far.

For a NSFW picture featuring me, you can find that here today.

Happy Thursday!

Click to comment ;)

Drink of the Day: Tequila Part I

In yesterday's blog post, I mentioned something about the Drink of the Day posts I've been doing. I might make it a feature I do every other week instead of every week. Or maybe make it a once a month thing. Or maybe scratch it all together. I have fun doing it but it's not the same as the other things I blog about. If no one is reading my regular blog posts, I don't particularly care because I'm writing as an outlet. For these, I'm writing them so people might have a new drink that they may be able to make for themselves at home or give them something new to order at the bar. If no one pays attention to them, I'll just scratch doing them all together because there's no point. So, any feedback on these posts would be appreciated! If I get no feedback on them, I'll just quit doing them. =)

This week, I've got some drinks and one shot that need some tequila. Next weekend, we'll have "tequila part II" where I'll be featuring three to five different margarita recipes.

Mexican Surfer

Ingredients:

2 oz Malibu® coconut rum
2 oz 1800® Tequila
pineapple juice

Garnish: (Optional)

Lime wedge, pineapple slice

Directions:

Add ice into a cocktail glass. Pour rum over the ice followed by tequila and pineapple juice. Stir gently, garnish and serve.


Gasoline

Ingredients:

1 1/2 oz Southern Comfort® peach liqueur
1 1/2 oz 1800® Tequila
Slice of lime

Garnish (optional):

Lemon wedge, lime wedge.

Directions:

Using the lime slice wet the rim of the shot glass and then dip the rim in salt. Add both liquors to shot glass. Serve with a lime or lemon wedge. Shoot and enjoy.


Blue Sunset

Ingredients:

1 oz 1800® Tequila
1 oz Blue Curacao liqueur
1/4 part 7-Up® soda
1/4 part sweet and sour mix
1/2 part orange juice

Garnish (optional):

Lemon slice, lime slice, orange slice.

Directions:

Add ice to cocktail shaker. Add tequila, Blue Curacao and sweet and sour mix to shaker. Shake well and strain into a glass over ice. Pour 7-Up and orange juice to fill. Garnish and serve.


Bunny Fucker

Ingredients:

1 oz Gold Tequila
1 oz Grenadine Syrup
1 oz 7-Up® Soda
1 Splash Orange Juice

Garnish (optional):

Maraschino cherry.

Directions:

In a cocktail glass, add ice. Then pour tequila over ice, add orange juice and 7-up and mix together. Then splash in grenadine and stir gently a couple times. Garnish with a cherry and serve.

And as always... Don't drink and drive please. Remember to be responsible when you're out having drinks.

Have a great weekend y'all!

Drink of the Day: Kamikaze Style

I got an e-mail asking me if I would do a Drink of the Day post on the Kamikaze. If there's a certain type of liquor, drink or whatever that you want to see featured on here, let me know! I'll be more than happy to oblige any alcohol requests. So, for Cameron, here is Drink of the Day: Kamikaze Style. =)

Note: The directions on each of these drinks is exactly the same so no matter which one you want to make, it's done all the same. I don't want to post the directions 7 times so they will be posted at the end, after the final recipe. ;)


Kamikaze

Ingredients:

1 oz Vodka
1 oz triple sec
1 oz lime juice


Blue Kamikaze

Ingredients:

1 oz vodka
1 oz Blue Curacao liqueur
1 oz lime juice


Apple Kamikaze

Ingredients:

1 oz Vodka
1 1/2 oz Apple Schnapps
2 oz sweet sour mix


Cherry Kamikaze

Ingredients:

1 oz Vodka
1 oz Cherry Schnapps
2 oz sweet sour mix


Melon Kamikaze

Ingredients:

1 oz Melon Liqueur
1/2 oz Vodka
2 oz sweet/sour mix


Raspberry Kamikaze

Ingredients:

1 oz Vodka
1 oz Raspberry liqueur
1 oz sweet/sour mix


Cranberry Kamikaze

Ingredients:

1 oz Vodka
1 oz Triple Sec
1/2 oz lime juice
1/4 cup cranberry juice


Directions:

Add ice to cocktail shaker, pour ingredients over ice, shake until well mixed. Strain into a chilled cocktail glass.

And as always... Don't drink and drive please. Remember to be responsible when you're out having drinks.

Have a great weekend y'all!

Drink Of The Day: Apple Slut & more.

Blue MotherFucker

Ingredients:

3 oz Absolut Citron vodka
3 oz Blue Curacao liqueur
3 oz sweet and sour mix

Garnish: (Optional)

Lime wedge, lemon wedge or cherry

Directions:

Add all ingredients into a shaker, shake ingredients well, strain over ice in a highball glass, and serve.


Apple Slut

Ingredients:

1 oz Apple schnapps
1 oz citrus vodka
Sprite soda

Garnish (optional):

Lemon wedge, lime wedge, apple slice or cherry

Directions:

Add desired amount of ice to highball glass, pour vodka and schnapps over ice, fill to the top with sprite, garnish (optional), and serve.


Flying Masturbator

Ingredients:

1 1/2 oz amaretto liqueur
1 oz vodka
2 parts orange juice
1 part cranberry juice

Garnish (optional):

Orange slice or cherry.

Directions:

Pour the vodka and amaretto into a tall glass, add OJ until the glass is about half full, add cranberry juice until the glass is about 3/4 full, add ice to fill the glass, and stir the drink vigorously for a few seconds. Garnish & serve.


Crimson Coma

Ingredients:

1 1/2 oz vodka
1 oz raspberry liqueur (or raspberry syrup for a sweeter drink)
Coca-Cola (or Pepsi)

Garnish (optional):

Raspberries or cherry

Directions:

In a highball glass, add ice, pour vodka over ice, add raspberry liqueur (or syrup) then fill with Coca-Cola (or Pepsi), stir gently, garnish (optional) and serve.


I received a few e-mails asking about what a "highball" glass is. It's a glass for serving cocktails, usually holds 8 to 12 ounces. Any glass that holds that amount of liquid will work fine. =)

And as always... Don't drink and drive please. Remember to be responsible when you're out having drinks.

Have a great weekend y'all!

Drink of the Day: Rum

Rum is my favorite liquor to consume. In a shot, in a glass, in a cocktail, right out of the bottle; it's all good. I love rum. Rum rum rum! See, in this picture over here? I'm consuming a delicious rum laden Black Cherry Mojito (which you'll find the recipe to in this post ;p) and enjoying it quite a bit. Two of my real life nicknames are Rummy and Rum Stealer. There is no mystery behind either one of those nicknames. They are kind of self-explanatory. For the second one though, I didn't steal rum from a store or anything. Just don't leave your rum unattended around me. If you want to keep it anyway. If you want me to grab it and run away drinking it, then by all means, leave your rum unattended around me. Anyway, I'm featuring drinks today that have rum in them and explaining about what "simple syrup" is. So here we go. =)

Rum Collins

Ingredients:

2 oz Light Rum
1 (Juice of) Lime
Soda Water
1 tsp Powdered Sugar

Garnish:

Lemon slice, cherry

Directions:

Fill a glass with ice. Add rum, juice of lime and powdered sugar and shake to mix well. Strain into a collins glass over ice cubes. Fill with club soda and stir gently. Garnish with lemon slice and cherry.

I found a neat little video to go with the rum collins recipe so if you want to watch it, here you go. =)



How to Make the Rum Collins Mixed Drink


Rum Sour

Ingredients:

2 oz Light Rum
1 oz Lemon Juice
1/2 oz Simple Syrup

Garnish:

Cherry, Orange Slice

Directions:

Shake all the ingredients in a shaker with ice and strain into a glass. Garnish with the fruits.


Black Cherry Mojito

Ingredients:

1 oz Bacardi White Rum
1 oz Cruzan Black Cherry Rum (or 1/4 oz black cherry syrup)
4 mint leaves
1 fresh lime
Club soda

Garnish:

Fresh mint, lime wedge, cherry

Instructions:

Muddle mint, lime and simple simple syrup in the bottom of a glass. Fill 3/4 (or 1/2 if you prefer) with ice. Add white rum, add black cherry rum (or syrup) and then top with Soda. Stir well. Garnish with mint, lime wedge and a cherry.

Some people like to do the first step in a separate glass. Then fill another glass with desired amount of ice, pour in the muddled ingredients on top of ice, add liquors and then top with the Soda. Stir well and garnish. Not much difference honestly.

Note: If you use syrup instead of Cruzan Black Cherry Rum, increase the amount of White Rum to 2 oz.


A lot of cocktails call for "simple syrup" and I got a few e-mails asking me if they can use anything to "replace" the simple syrup. So, I'm going to tell you that simple syrup is pretty much sugar water. You can make it at home, no problem.

Simple Syrup Recipe

1. Put one cup of water in a small saucepan.
2. Add two cups of sugar.
3. Heat to a boil while stirring.
4. Reduce heat and continue to stir until the sugar dissolves.
5. Cool to room temperature.
6. Find a clean container that will hold at least a cup and a half.
7. Using a funnel, pour liquid into container.
8. Seal and store in refrigerator up to a month.

You can also add 1 oz of vodka to the simple syrup after bottling it to help with mold/bacteria issues. It's just easier not to keep it around that long though. You can also do a 1:1 ratio and only do 1 cup of sugar per 1 cup of water. If you only want a really small batch, you can do half a cup of water to half a cup of sugar. If you refrigerate it, make sure it's in a container or bottle that will remain tightly sealed.


And as always... Don't drink and drive please. Remember to be responsible when you're out having drinks.

Have a great weekend y'all!

Drink Of The Day

Ruby Relaxer
1 oz peach schnapps
1 oz vodka
1oz coconut rum
pineapple juice
cranberry juice

Combine peach schnapps, vodka and coconut rum in a mix glass with a few cubes of ice. Shake gently and strain into a cocktail glass. Almost fill with pineapple juice, add a splash of cranberry juice on top and serve.

Garnish: Pineapple, cherry or mint.


Italian Margarita: On The Rocks
1 1/2 oz amaretto almond liqueur
2 oz sweet and sour mix
1 1/2 oz Jose Cuervo® Especial gold tequila
1/2 oz triple sec
1/2 oz orange juice

Take a margarita glass and rub the rim with lime juice. Roll the rim of the glass in course sugar. Add a few ice cubes to the glass. Mix all ingredients and pour over the ice.

Garnish: Either a lime wedge or an orange wedge and a cherry.



Italian Margarita: Frozen for 4 people (For more or less, add/subtract ingredients accordingly or email me & I'll give the recipe for more/less ;p)
4 oz amaretto almond liqueur
2 oz sweet and sour mix
6 oz Jose Cuervo Gold tequila
5 oz frozen orange juice concentrate
4 cups of ice (or 6 for thinner consistency)

Dip the rims of 4 margarita glasses in amaretto, then into sugar; set aside. Add ice to the blender then add in the orange juice concentrate, tequila, amaretto and sour mix. Puree until smooth, then pour into prepared glasses.

Garnish: Lime wedge or orange wedge and a cherry.


And as always... Don't drink and drive please. I'm not going to rant/lecture on about it but please remember to be responsible when you're out having drinks.

Have a great weekend y'all!

Drink Of The Day: Zombie, Tokyo seen twice & Adios Motherfucker

I picked the first drink up for today in honor or Wednesday's post. Plus, it's tasty as fuck. If a real zombie tasted this good, they might have to worry about people trying to eat them. Just sayin'.

Zombie

1/2 oz Bacardi® 151 rum
1 oz pineapple juice
1 oz orange juice
1/2 oz apricot brandy
1 tsp sugar
2 oz light rum
1 oz dark rum
1 oz lime juice

Mix all ingredients with ice except Bacardi 151 proof rum. Pour ice and liquors into a collins/tall glass. Float Bacardi 151 proof rum on top.
Garnish: A fruit slice (orange or pineapple work), sprig of mint and a cherry.


Tokyo Tea

1/2 oz vodka
1/2 oz rum
1/2 oz gin
1/2 oz 1800® Tequila
1/2 oz triple sec
1 oz Midori® melon liqueur

Combine all ingredients in a cocktail shaker. Shake, strain into a small glass filled with ice, and serve.
Garnish: Cherry or chunk of melon.


Tokyo Ice Tea

1 oz vodka
1 oz gin
1 oz rum
1 oz 1800® Tequila
2 oz kiwi liqueur
1 oz sugar syrup (granulated sugar will work)
6 oz 7-Up® soda

Mix the alcohol. Add ice, sugar syrup/sugar and 7-up. Stir well and serve.
Garnish: Lemon.


Adios Motherfucker

1/2 oz vodka
1/2 oz rum
1/2 oz 1800® Tequila
1/2 oz gin
1/2 oz Blue Curacao liqueur
2 oz sweet and sour mix
2 oz 7-Up® soda

Pour all ingredients except the 7-Up into a chilled glass filled with ice cubes. Top with 7-Up and stir gently.
Garnish: Lemon, lime or cherry.


And as always... Don't drink and drive please. I'm not going to rant/lecture on about it but please remember to be responsible when you're out having drinks.

Have a great weekend y'all!

Drink Of The Day: Kisses, Cupid's Potion & some Sex on the Sidewalk

For Valentine's Day, I'm posting more than a couple drink recipes. As you'll probably notice, I picked drinks by their names but I also picked ones that I think are good.

You don't need a shaker to shake cocktails either, don't let that stop you. Plenty of things that are likely in your kitchen can be used as a shaker. Get creative. I might even post some ideas on what to use as a shaker if you don't have one here soon.

Velvet Kiss
Fill shaker with ice.
Add the following ingredients in shaker:

1 oz Gin
1/2 oz Banana Liqueur
1/2 oz pineapple juice
1 oz heavy cream
Dash of Grenadine (optional)

Shake well and then strain into a glass.


Cupid's Potion
Add the following ingredients in shaker:

1 1/2 oz Amaretto
1/2 oz Triple Sec
Dash of Grenadine
Fill with equal parts Orange Juice and Sour Mix.

Shake well, serve over ice. Or fill a glass halfway with ice, add all ingredients and stir thoroughly. It tastes good either way. ;)


Cherry Kiss
Fill shaker with ice.
Add the following ingredients in shaker:

1 1/2 oz Vodka
1/2 oz Chocolate Liqueur
1/4 oz Cherry Liqueur
3/4 oz Cream or Milk

Shake well, strain into glass.


Sex On The Sidewalk (as a shot)
Fill shaker with ice.
Add the following ingredients in shaker:

1 oz Vodka
1/2 oz Melon Liqueur
1/2 oz Chambord Raspberry Liqueur
1 oz Cranberry Juice

Shake well, strain into glass.


Sex On The Sidewalk (as a cocktail)
Add the following ingredients in shaker:

1 1/2 oz Vodka
1/2 oz Melon Liqueur
1 oz Chambord Raspberry Liqueur
Fill with Cranberry Juice (6 oz)

Mix well, serve over ice.

Don't drink and drive please. Even if you're not drunk but just tipsy, it's still stupid because even if you feel like you're fine... you're still impaired. Of course, everyone who drives intoxicated thinks they drive just fine and don't realize any differences in what they're doing. Blah blah blah. I'm not going to rant/lecture on about it but please remember to be responsible when you're out having drinks.

Have a great weekend y'all!

Drink of the Day: The Naked Lady

The Naked Lady (As a shot)

1 oz white rum
1 oz sweet vermouth
4 dashes apricot brandy
2 dashes grenadine syrup
4 dashes lemon juice (or 1 oz sour mix)

Pour the white rum, sweet vermouth, apricot brandy, grenadine and lemon juice into a cocktail shaker half-filled with ice cubes. Shake well, strain into a highball glass, and serve.

The Naked Lady (As a cocktail)

1/4 oz light rum
1/4 oz dark rum
1/2 oz amaretto almond liqueur
1/2 oz peach schnapps
2 oz orange juice
1 splash Sprite soda

Mix light rum, dark rum, amaretto, and peach schnapps together. Add ice to a tall glass, pour cocktail over ice, add the splash of sprite on top, and serve. Optional garnish: Maraschino cherry, mint leaf.

Drink of the Day: Shuddering Orgasm

I'm starting something new. It's small, simple and I can do several months worth of posts in ab hour and not have to mess with it on a weekly basis. Awesome, right? So, what is my new thing?

Every Friday or Saturday, I will post a drink of the day of the adult alcohol filled variety. The lovely and wonderful, @PrettyPrincessG ,inspired this because she was on Twitter asking what to do with Kahlua when you don't have milk and don't want to use coffee. I thought for a minute and offered up the solution of Coca-Cola, Vodka and Kahlua. Then I thought about it for a second and the idea to do Drink of the Day was born.

So, in honor of what started this, here's another something something you can do with Kahlua.

Drink of the Day #1
Shuddering Orgasm

1 oz Kahlua
1 oz Amaretto
1 oz Bailey's Irish Cream
1 scoop crushed ice

Fill shaker with ice, add liquor, give several good shakes to mix it all together well. Then just strain and serve!

If you don't have the right tools for doing this and want to make it at home, a jar with a lid can work just fine as a shaker. Or you can use two plastic cups and make a makeshift shaker. You can hold a butter knife against the lip of the jar when you're pouring it to keep the ice out too or if you have a small strainer you might use for cooking, use that. Get creative. ;)

Enjoy!

How Important Is Sex....

NOTES: This post is extremely long. It's emotional and parts of it were hard for me to write but in having to re-do the "How Important Is Sex Or Lack Of To You In A Serious Relationship" post, I decided to work it from a very personal angle. To do that, I decided to share quite a bit of history with y'all in order to do this. This includes some things about me that I have never wrote about, some things that I've never even discussed with good friends of mine. If you want to skip to the "HIISOLOTYIASR" part, find this to mark the beginning of that post. HNT is at the bottom. I would really appreciate if y'all didn't skip the meat of the post though as I put a lot into it.

In March of 2005, when my boyfriend was 19, he had a stroke. I didn't know him when it happened.He had gone to school to be an auto mechanic and already had a job working for an auto repair business. He loves cars and he was thrilled he could make a living doing something he loved. After the stroke, he couldn't work on cars any longer due to some medical issues he was left with as a result of the stroke. I met him shortly after. He was dealing with not being able to pursue the career he had wanted and been excited for. He was disappointed and sad. He was also confused about why a healthy 19 year old boy had a stroke in the first place. He saw doctors, he saw neurologists and they all did every test imaginable and not a single thing hinted at why a healthy 19 year old boy had a stroke. His neurologists wrote papers on him and used his case as an example of medical mysteries in a class he taught. He was lucky though, he was still walking and still alive. It could have been worse. He had to go on a couple medications and he did lose his peripheal vision and had a couple other issues. Other than that, he did well. Still, it was frustrating having doctors and specialists run countless tests on you only to find nothing wrong with you.

I met him in April of 2005, one month and two days after the stroke. He was tall, broad shoulders, full lips, had longish dark hair that curled and twisted at the ends and he resembled a young Bam Margera. I thought he was damn hot. He also had a 1986 red IROC Camaro which I thought to be pretty badass. We talked and we hit it off. The first night we met, we spent 9 hours talking and trying to find things we didn't have in common. I was hanging out with a guy friend that night but ended up giving all my attention to the 6'8" giant that I had so much in common with. Then, in early June of 2005 I decided to move to California, where my dad was living and had been living for a while. I had only known Boyfriend for 6 weeks but I felt like there was something special about him. We spent a lot of time getting to know each other in that time and I felt like I knew him better than I knew some of my friends. That wasn't enough at that point to keep me from moving to the west coast though. I kept in contact with Boyfriend and we got to the point where we were talking several times a day. Texting through out the day, talking for hours on the phone at night, chatting online when I couldn't be on the phone. In November of 2005, we were making fun of shirts on a website and I was joking about one that would be good for him. He made a smart ass remark that went along the lines of, "Well that means I'm in love with a..." and I just smartly replied back with a stunning, "huh?" Then he told me he was in love me with me. He was worried I'd think he was nuts because I hadn't known him long before moving. I asked if he was sure of that and he said he was. I didn't feel the same way but I liked him so much and cared a lot about him. I told him that and he asked if I would move back to Texas. I wasn't happy there. I was an assistant manager and working the night shift.

Then, in early 2006, I was closing up at work one night where I was an assistant manager. There was a female crew leader there and a male employee closing. I told her to take off because she was just standing there texting. I was doing a deposit and had to enter the information in and finish up. I had Jeremy there and she wasn't any help at all anyway. She finished texting, clocked out and left. Five minutes later, a huge 25 pound rock came crashing through the glass side door that I had locked up tight. If people want in, locks aren't an issue. A group of guys dressed completely in black from their ski masks down to their shoes came running in through the door and crunching over the broken glass. They were screaming and I didn't even realize two of them had guns and that I was about to be in an armed robbery until they were behind me, screaming at me to open the safe and give them the money. One of them stayed to the side waving his gun, screaming that if I didn't hurry that he'd kill me. Screaming out bitch, whore, you're going to die and tons of other shit. The one directly behind me had a gun aimed at my head. The guy next to him was yelling at me to hurry up as well. Two others had watch over Jeremy who was laying on the floor in the back with a gun aimed at him. Then the guy kneeling on the floor next to me, filling up the bag with the cash was trying to calm me down. He spoke to me nicely, calmly and told me to relax and just give them the money and they wouldn't hurt me. We had two safes. I had the top one open because I had been putting the cash drawers in when they came crashing through the doors. The bottom safe had documents and a cash box that had $100 in it. I was freaking out, scared out of my mind and I messed up the code to open the bottom safe. I tried a second time. The guy behind me pushed the gun hard into my head and told me not to fuck up again. I did. I had a third and last time to get it open and I couldn't do it. I was so scared I kept messing up the order of the numbers in the code. The guy knelt with me on the ground asked me how much was in there, I told him only $100 and nothing more. He told me to lay down, not look at them and stood up. They ripped the phone off the desk and out of the wall and dropped it down on me. The crazy one to the side that had been cussing, screaming and waving his gun at me started screaming about my cell phone. One of them leaned down and checked my pockets and he told them I didn't have a phone on me. They glanced at the desk looking for it but it was hidden under a jacket I had sitting on a file cabinet. The calm one told them to forget it. The one that had been behind me with the gun told me to stay on the ground or he would shoot me if he saw me get up. I stayed laying on the ground, shaking and crying, absolutely terrified to move for ten minutes. It was so deathly quiet and I slowly got to my hands and knees and crawled along the ground to see if Jeremy was okay. He was laying face down on the floor with his hands behind his head. He looked up and saw me, stood up and asked if I was okay. He was totally and completely calm. Not shaken at all despite what had just happened. He pulled out his cell phone and called the police. I called my dad, who was also the supervisor/owner of the job I was working at the time. LS answered his cell phone and heard me, obviously shaken and crying, and ran the phone back to my dad to wake him up. I told him I got robbed at gun point and I told him Jeremy had already called the police. He told me to calm down and he would be there quickly. We only lived a few minutes away. On the way, he called our GM and woke him up to get him up there as well. My mom had came home in time to catch my dad going groggily out the door. He explained quickly and she decided she was going with him. I was afraid to be in front of the windows because I wasn't thinking clearly and thought for some reason the robbers might come back by. In a rational state of mind, I'd never think such a think but I was 20 and hugging the ground thankful they didn't deliver on their threats to shoot me. I did stand up finally and look out the windows. When I did, I yelped because I saw someone in all black clothes standing outside looking in. Jeremy grabbed me and told me it was just a cop. We looked around and the police were outside walking around. My parents got there shortly after the police did and I went to them and started crying all over again, trying to tell them what happened. I calmed down, got questioned by the cop. He was convinced it was an inside job and convinced I had had something to do with it. The cop that had gotten Jer's side of the story came over to talk to me and send the dickhead over to talk to Jeremy. He had apologized to me for the dick playing "bad cop" and said that he thought I was too shook up and too scared to be part of this. I told him my story. I told a third cop my story. They left me alone and I sat there waiting. Jer and mine had matching stories. I told Boyfriend about what had happened later and he was angry and wanted to come out to California and hurt people, lol. I took 6 days off work but I had to go back on the 7th. Not because they made me but because after several days of playing it all over in my head, I realized the cop had been right in saying it was an inside job. I realized who several of the masked robbers were too since I worked with them. The 3 guys I knew had been part of the robbers were working that Sunday as well as the dumb bitch crew leader who had cued them in after I sent her off that night. I wasn't ready to be back there but I wasn't going to let them win. I remember going to work that day and they were the only 4 who wouldn't look at me. The only 4 who wouldn't meet my eyes if they said something to me despite the fact that before hand, they were always very social and chatty with me. I chatted with all of them and asked them all why they wouldn't look at me. They all glanced at me slightly and then looked away, paying attention to work and giving me some bullshit and cracking a joke. For days after, those same 4 continued to avoid looking at me and avoid having to talk to me. They also worked damn well on my shift because they didn't want to have me bitching at them. I didn't close again after that night though. I went to mornings and became the opening manager. I got to work just before sunrise to open and I spent a lot of mornings, checking the doors and checking the mirrors. Having panic attacks when something popped when it shouldn't, when something metal fell off a shelf and fell noisily onto the tile floors in the back. Feeling anxiety when I saw the shadows of the homeless walking out of the darkness because all I could see in my head was dark silhouettes coming out and I didn't trust a single straggler out there not to be up to something. I was afraid to be alone. I was afraid of being outside by myself at dark. I had nightmares almost every night. I tried to fight against everything I was feeling and in that, I became so angry with myself. Angry because I had let a group of assholes have power over me and turn me into someone that jumped at shadows and strange noises. I became obsessed with checking the doors and windows at home. Making sure they were locked, making sure no one was outside trying to find their way in. The slightest noise would wake me up and I'd have to get up and creep around, making sure everything was okay. I could have seen a therapist and I wouldn't have had to pay for it nor would my family. I could have gotten therapy free to me but I couldn't go. I wouldn't go though part of me wanted to. I didn't see it as getting help. I saw it as being even more weak than I already felt like I was. I talked to Boyfriend instead. A lot. I told him about the nightmares, the panic attacks, the anxiety, the paranoia and how I was angry at myself. We talked about things a lot. He tried to encourage me to seek therapy but I wasn't having it. I was determined to work through it on my own. If I hadn't had him to talk to, I don't know what would have happened. I didn't even tell most of my friends about it and I didn't want to tell my family about all the thoughts and issues I was having. I was lucky to have him and he helped a lot. I got to where I wasn't scared to be at work though I was still far more alert than I had ever been before. I was still more suspicious of everyone than I had ever been before.

In June of 2006, I moved back to Texas with my mom and two youngest siblings. The night we pulled back into Dallas, boyfriend met us at IHOP. I hugged and kissed him in that parking lot and he smelled so good and felt so warm. I missed him and as we stood there kissing and giggling about how I wasn't allowed to move off anymore, I knew I was in love with him. I left with him that night and spent the night with him.

I spent a lot of time with him. He helped me more through things. I still had to obsessively check locks, doors, windows and outside surroundings. I used to love being alone but at that point, I would go anywhere even when I didn't want to go as long as I wouldn't have to stay home alone. When we went out, I wanted to sit in places where I could see the doors and see who was coming through them. I had half a dozen or more other little things that had to be this way or that way and I probably would have driven most people nuts. He has dogs and when they would start barking for longer than a few seconds, I had to check and see what was going on. I didn't feel safe, I realized. I couldn't hear unfamiliar noises and not have my pulse speed up. One day, a friend of his that I had met and liked let himself in the house. I was in the bedroom in the back and I hadn't heard him come in. He decided it would be funny to scare/surprise me by sneaking up on me. He scared the hell out of me and I had a panic attack and almost took his head off in the process. He thought I was nuts and overreacting. My boyfriend explained to him in very short form why I had reacted that way, why I was still jumpy and anxious. He felt bad and apologized.

Jeremy had kept in contact with me up until Fall of 2006 via email and MySpace. I asked him one day if he felt the need to make sure I was okay was to ease his guilty conscious. I told him I knew he knew it was going to happen, which is why he was so calm and why they didn't pay much attention to him at all. He apologized to me and said he just needed to know I was okay and that I would continue to be fine. He didn't want to do it the way it went down, he said he felt weapons would be too much and threatening to kill me was too much. The others thought if I didn't fear for my life, I wouldn't cooperate given that I am such an outspoken, strong person. I might be outspoken, strong and have some stubborn pride but I'm also smart and wouldn't have given a group of guys any issues even without the weapons. It wouldn't be worth any harm they could do and I told him as much. He apologized a lot over the next month and I finally told him I was fine and to just leave me alone, to never contact me again for anything. He said he wasn't ready for that and that he still needed to check up on to make sure I stayed fine, to make him feel better about what they did. I didn't care about his guilt and doubted I could fix it. So I began to ignore him and eventually, he left me alone.

My boyfriend had to deal with my panic attacks, my anxiety, my freaking out over every little thing, the nightmares I had from time to time and the anger I felt towards myself. I finally told two of my friends what I was going through and I talked a little to them. My boyfriend was still the most help to me. I started drinking more than I already did. I wasn't an obsessive freak when I was drunk. So, I drank and I drank a lot. My boyfriend was patient with me most of the time and less patient with me the rest of the time. In my anger, I had gotten depressed and I began wishing that they had just shot me so I didn't have to exist anymore. I felt weak and felt like I was the only person to blame for my weakness. I felt dysfunctional and felt like I was a waste of skin, energy and life. I contemplated a little but I didn't want to die. So, I drank and I drank some more and once in a while, I popped pills while I drank.

I tried not to spend a lot of time at home with my family. I knew I was a mess and I didn't want them to see me that way. My mom knew I wasn't entirely me but she didn't know to what extent. A friend of mine contacted her and told her things I had confided in him. Something like an intervention happened with my boyfriend and my family. My mom was worried about my drinking and my well being. My boyfriend was worried about me. My siblings were worried about me. I got angry some more. Not at them though. Angry that I had let myself try to wash it all away with booze and not face the issues. My mom asked a lot of hard questions about my well being and where I was at mentally. The idea of therapy came up again and I wouldn't do it, again. I didn't want therapy.

My boyfriend was there for me while I tried to drink much less. I could drink this big bottle of rum by myself in one night over several hours and not have a hangover the next day. I wouldn't get sick that night. I wouldn't be black out falling down drunk. I would be drunk as fucking hell but I wouldn't be ill or hurting afterward. I had been drinking too much and I did need to cut way back.

A lot of work on my part and support on his (and some others as well) later and I was a mentally and emotionally healthier person. I'm still more wary and suspicious of people than most others are but I'll probably always be that way. I was always rather alert and aware of my surroundings but now I pay almost constant attention to what's going on around me and don't allow myself to get distracted. I always check to make sure everything is locked but I don't have to obsessively do it several times through out the day and night.

In February of 2008, my boyfriend had a second stroke. We had been laying in bed. I got up to go smoke a cigarette and he was working on getting up to do the same. I was waiting for him to get up and he started trying to get up, he couldn't move and when he did move up a little off the bed, he fell to the floor. I tried to help him up and asked him if he was okay. He was slurring and not making any sense. I got him up and was asking him what was wrong. He couldn't talk, he kept insisting he would be okay and he fell over again. I ran into the front room and got his mom. She came to the back of the house and checked on him. I said I was going to call 911. He tried to tell me he didn't need help, that he was fine. He kept trying to talk and I wasn't understanding him. He was confused and didn't understand when I tried telling him things. His mother called 911 and told them he was having a stroke and we needed an ambulance. I kept trying to talk to him, he tried pushing me away telling me he was fine. He tried to stand but couldn't move. He kept falling over and had trouble staying balanced enough to sit up straight on his bed. I was terrified he was going to die.

Paramedics arrived. He's 6'8" and not a skinny guy. He's not fat but he's a big guy. They had trouble getting him arranged because they were all barely taller than I am. He was still dazed and uncoordinated but they got him out and got him into the ambulance. One paramedic talked to his mom and she informed them of the medications he was on and a quick medical history including his last stroke. They had me ride in the ambulance with him so I could tell them what happened and so I could answer questions for him if I had to. I only had to answer a few questions and then he was able to talk well enough to talk to them. He didn't remember exactly what was going on though. I called my mom and told her what was going on. Her house was two hours away but her, LS, YB and my cousin (her sister and her family lived in the house next door to my mom's) ended up coming up there anyway and stayed for many hours while we waited to see if he would be okay or not. He had some friends who came to visit him as well.

He was in the hospital for quite a few days after that stroke. They, again, did tons of tests from A to Z and still couldn't find out what was wrong or what had caused him to have another stroke. He saw his neurologist again (he has to see him every few months to do blood work and make sure his medication dosage doesn't need to change) and nothing there either. No one can figure out why my pretty much healthy boyfriend has had two strokes.

This most recent stroke did mess a bit more up. In the hospital, he had friends that came to visit. He had no feeling in most of his left side. Chevelle needed to test the theory and decided to inflict pain on Boyfriend's left thigh. It didn't matter how hard he hit or what he did, Boyfriend didn't feel it. He would feel a faint pressure but nothing else. He would try to hold my hand with his left hand and then get upset, he could perform the function but couldn't feel my hand in his. He got out of the hospital and had to work on things. His doctors and neurologist told him he might be able to regain feeling in his left side but not to count on it. He had a medication he had to get shot with in the stomach. It bruised him horribly and I had to give the shots to him. I didn't mind giving the shots because he needed them and that kind of thing doesn't bother me. I hated seeing the bruises. I hated seeing him upset and frustrated with himself too. He didn't have a lot of control over his left arm and hand. He wouldn't use it at first. Then his neurologist told him he had to work it and had to use it to try and make it functional again. He had trouble doing things as simple as pouring a pitcher of water because he couldn't feel what he was doing, couldn't feel if he had a good grip on it, couldn't feel if he was lifting it or not. He had a little ball to work in his hand to do hand exercises with. He used it and hoped he would be able to feel again on his left side.

Currently, that hasn't changed much. His left leg and thigh are extremely sensitive to heat and cold. If I touch his leg or thigh with chilly hands, he jumps away because it's painful to him, like being stabbed in several places. Same goes for his arm. He did get some strength back in his left arm and he did practice things enough to get used to doing them again. He just has to be careful and pay more attention to what he's doing because he doesn't and won't ever have full use and normal feeling of his left parts again. There are other issues he has from that but I won't go into those.

I know this post is long enough as it is but all of this brings me to the point of sharing all this background. I've left out a lot of hard, trying things we've been through together because these are the biggest issues we've had to get each other through.

This is where I finally get to the "How Important Is Sex Or Lack Of To You In A Serious Relationship" part of the post. I know, you thought I would never get here.


A rather delicate result from Boyfriend's second stroke was that his ability to perform in bed was hindered. He has problems down south that he can't control and it results in us having sex quite a bit less than we used to. Now granted, we used to have sex every day no matter what and twice a day when time permitted and sometimes even three times a day. I like to fuck, a lot. No, we have sex when we can and sometimes that's once a week. I do play with toys, let him use toys on me and we fool around without sex for intimacy and orgasms. Masturbation, finger fucking, oral sex and toy fucking is fun and gets me off but it's not as good as fucking. It's not as close, not as intimate, not as raw and just not as good as the real thing. Having skin to skin contact, being as physically close and connected as you can be. Certain pills he could take that might work would clash with his medications that he has to take every day for the rest of his life to keep him alive and going. Life is more important than fucking. So, I get frustrated at times even though I try not to. It isn't his fault and there's nothing we can do about it for the time being. I enjoy it when we can fuck and when we can't, well that's when the other stuff comes into play. This likely won't ever change either. Which is hard for me because I'll admit, I'm a slut and I might have a slight addiction to sex. I love sex and get physically frustrated, cranky, annoyed and even at times out right bitchy when I'm not getting a regular release. Since losing my virginity, I've never gone very long without getting sex regularly with guys and girls.

May 25th of this year was our 3 year anniversary of actually being together in a serious relationship. If you had told me four years ago when I first met him that I would enter into a relationship where I would only be able to have sex a few times a month, I wouldn't have been in that relationship. If you had told me three years and three months ago that this would happen, I would have probably stayed friends longer with Boyfriend instead of crossing that line with him. Sex was a huge part of my relationships then and not getting it more than a couple times a month would seem insanely unappealing to me.

Thankfully, I've grown up since then. Ask me now. How important is sex to me? Sure, it's important. Sure, it's great wonderful fun and I love it and crave it on a hourly daily basis. It's not more important than what I have with him though. It's not the end of the world because we can't fuck all of the time anymore. We can be intimate in more ways than that. We can still have fun. Yes, it gets frustrating for both of us but we deal with it. It's not the deal breaker that the younger me would have naively and shallowly taken it to be. I think intimacy and sex is an important part of a relationship. It would be nice if we could fuck each other silly all the time still. Intimacy isn't just about fucking though. It's about more than the act. It's feelings and emotions. It's physical closeness. It's cuddling. It's kissing. It's hands running up and down each others naked flesh. Kissing, tongues exploring each others mouths. Tongues gliding across skin licking, flicking and teasing. Lips caressing necks, shoulders and every other inch of skin. Teeth biting, nibbling and grazing. Fingers and tongues sliding in and out of warm, wet places. There's more to intimacy than fucking and more ways to please, tease and pleasure each other.

The person that had originally offered to do this post with me backed out after it had been done. One question she asked me that I still want to use is, have I ever considered cheating on my boyfriend to get what I'm no longer getting from him?

I thought about that. I thought openly and honestly. I would never cheat. I have never cheated. I don't think it's right. I think if you're going to cheat, you might need to reevaluate the relationship you're in. I can confidently and 100% honestly say that I wouldn't cheat on him just because we aren't having sex as often.

Our relationship started off from mutual attraction, common interests and sexual tension. I wanted to fuck him silly shortly after meeting him but I didn't. I thought he wasn't interested in me but that's another story for another day. We've gone through so much in three years together. He's helped me overcome so many hurdles and has helped me calm down and mature a little bit. We've changed each other in ways that we didn't realize until afterward. We've gone through some storms and will probably go through more. We've so far survived and made it through everything I mentioned and everything that I didn't mention as well. We've been tempted and tested. We always come out on top. I love him more than I've ever loved anyone or anything in my entire life. When you look at all we've been through, all we share, the loyalty, the honesty, the laughs, the lust, the desire, the support, every good thing and every bad thing... sex isn't much in comparison to the love, loyalty, respect, encouragement, intimacy and support that he gives me.

If you and your current significant other found yourself in the position where you could only have sex two or three times a month, sometimes a time or two more and sometimes a time or two less; how big of a deal would it be to you?

Happy Thursday!!!!