You're not fuckin' perfect & that's okay....

I wrote then posted this to my my Tumblr yesterday but wanted it here, too.

I hate when people try to cheer someone up or encourage them by saying, “stop, you’re perfect the way you are.” If that person is hating things about themselves, telling them they’re perfect that way isn’t the best way to make them feel better. Also, they’re not going to believe your cliche false comment anyway. No one is perfect. You want to really help? Tell them actual positive things that aren’t stupid.

Tell them they have a great sense of humor and you love how they make you laugh.

Tell them how you admire how creative they are.

Tell them how smart they are.

Tell them how they make the best cookies you’ve ever had.

Tell them they have pretty eyes.

Tell them you love the way they tell a story.

Tell them they’re stronger than they think they are.

Tell them something that’s TRUE and not something that reeks of fairytale happy ending bullshit.

That way when they think about it after you say it, they know you’re being genuine. And maybe, they’ll start to believe it and you will have actually helped them a little bit.

Telling someone they’re perfect to try and encourage them is just so stupid and unoriginal. Thinking up something specific about them that you like or think is great might be harder but it will mean more.

Happy Friday!

An e-mail from a reader...

**REMEMBER: I want y'all to send me pictures! If you already have, thank you! I want to see trees, sunshine, lips, booze, boobs, pets, toys, rain, shoes, candy, random street signs, legs, bright colors, piercings, silly face shots, beaches, whatever you want to send me. Pervy isn't discouraged but isn't a must. Most of the pictures I have so far aren't pervy at all but they're all pretty awesome. On Monday, I will post a very image heavy post to show off all the pictures I have received. Go here to read all the details. Come on, it'll be fun!**

So, if you follow me on Twitter, you might have seen me bitching and laughing over an obnoxious piece of email I received yesterday in regard to my Physical Flaws post. I contemplated posting it and was encouraged to do so by quite a few people who wanted to see what the e-mail said thought it would be a good idea.

Here is the e-mail. I'm not going to edit it so deal with the grammar and misspelled words, lol.

"AMOROUS I have read your blog for several years and I enjoy a lot of what you put out there you are an open and honest person and I respect admire that. I have to say that when you talk about flaws and being insecure physically it pisses me off. I see you talk about on your post today about how you have flaws and have things you dont like about you and all I think is

BOOHOO CRY MY A FUCKING RIVER LITTLE GIRL

SORRY but your post about your SO CALLED (BULLSHIT!!!) FLAWS REALLY set me off and put me a fire under my ass. You dont get how LUCKY you are to be a pretty girl and not have to deal with the PLIGHT of being UGLY. YOU JUST DONT GET IT! Im emal you HOPING you realize that you DONT HAVE JACKSHIT to cry about and Im ONLY saying this to HELP YOU.

MUST SUCK to be such pretty girl and have to cry about being upset and insecure over your ears nose butt and neck. GIVE ME A BREAK! Waaa waaa waaa! Go THRU LIFE being the UGLY girl that guys only want to be FRIENDS with and that PRETTY GIRLS LIKE YOU only hang out with because your smart and can help them keep their grades up. Have boys look at you like an alien or another guy but never see you as anything special.

GO THRU LIFE being the UGLY woman at work that the PRETTY WOMEN LIKE YOU only assosciate with because I will and can help them get there projects done. The UGLY woman who has to sit alone during lunch because all the pretty women have gone off WITHOUT INVITING the UGLY woman to go eat with them! Having to listen to them yammer on about their dates and their hook ups and seeings guys in the office flutter around after them because theyre pretty and then hearing those whiney whelps complain about their pathetic lives like they dont have it EASIER being pretty.Having guys in the office ignore you because youre UGLY. Having to openly glare at them day after day seeing there smug little faces as they laugh at me as I glare at them. There still PRETTY so what do they care that I know what they say and hate there being for it?? Doesnt hurt them at all!!!

You have NO CLUE how easy you have it!! Guys probably FLOCK to you. Buy you drinks. Offer you things! Give you the COMPLEMENT of coming over to say hell JUST BECAUSE they think your pretty. I NEVER get flirted with. You dont know what its like to be UGLY WOMAN in the room who works up the COURAGE make eye contact with a man ONLY to have him look up me up and down and DISMISS me beccause Im not pretty enough for them. Going on blind dates and seeing looks of DISAPPOINTMENT on there faces because they hoped for something MORE, someone PRETTIER than ME!

Must be nice to be PRETTY GIRL and have only PETTY things to bitch about. OH MY NOSE IS BIG OH I HATE MY FAT FOREHEAD OH MY BIG EARS MAKE ME LOOK LIKE DUMBO OH MY LONG NECK MAKES ME LOOK LIKE A GIRAFFE OR OH MY FAT ASS LOOKS FAT . BOOHOO bitch! GROW UP!! GET OVER IT!!!

You whine and CRY about your PETTY INSIGNIFICENT LITTLE "FLAWS" but you really have NOTHING to be upset and whining about! YOUR THE PRETTY GIRL here and you whining and crying about these dumb little things just MAKE YOU LOOK STUPID AND IMMATURE! WAAA WAAA WAA! Save the pity party because you aint got NOTHING to be pitying yourself about!!!

-Sassy Lindsay"

I used to be insecure about my entire body. I was always bigger than other girls. Even as a little kid, I was taller than all the other girls. I had broader shoulders, bigger feet and I wasn't fat but I wasn't skinny and petite like all the other girls in school. I was a tomboy through and through. I played sports and I didn't get along with girls. I didn't identify with the things they liked. I didn't giggle and laugh at other people.

I hit puberty early and I hit it hard. I never even owned a training bra because I seemingly went from no boobs to big boobs. I was in 5Th grade and transferred from a private school to a public school a couple months into the first semester. I was taller, bigger and I had actual boobs. Of course, they started the rumors that I stuffed my bra. I played sports and had muscular legs, so I was a "lesbo" and I sat every single day at lunch by myself because I was awkward and didn't fit in.

I felt fat. I felt ugly. I felt disgusting and wrong. I had mostly guy friends and yeah, once I was full into puberty, I noticed different changes. The big boobs, the butt, the hips, the changes in my face. The fact that when I played football with my guy friends they weren't sure how to tackle me anymore so they often didn't.

Just because some people think I'm pretty doesn't mean everyone thinks that way. It also doesn't mean I get life handed to me on a silver platter.

It doesn't mean I've never been turned down by a guy or girl I liked. Through puberty, I was still a tomboy. I played softball and hockey. I did track and field. I did basketball. I'm still a tomboy for the most part honestly. Back then though, I had my family telling me what a pretty girl I was becoming. When I finally started digging guys, I had issues there because I was such a tomboy and guys always got to know me and I ended up being just friends. I was "too cool" and "too much like one of the guys" to be someone they wanted to date.

I've had guys and girls I like not be attracted to me. It happens. I've been called amazon because I have big feet and broad shoulders. I think I need those broad shoulders to help hold up these huge boobs, lol. I don't let it get to me. There will be other people who will find me attractive and people who won't. I have an amazing guy in my life now so why worry about all the other guys and girls who turned me down or wouldn't give me a second look?

I don't care if my physical insecurities seem petty, silly, ridiculous, stupid and insignificant to other people. I don't care who thinks it's silly that I'm insecure about having my neck exposed, my ears out in plain view, my nose being too big and my forehead being too wide. Those are the things I'm insecure about and those things are things I'll have to get over on my own.

It has taken me years to be comfortable in my skin and accept as much as I have about myself. It has taken me years to not loathe every physical thing about me. It has taken me a lot of work to undo all the emotional damage I have done to myself. All the berating myself, thinking down on myself, calling myself names and emotionally and mentally beating myself up and tearing myself down day after day. Everyone has something or several somethings that they're insecure about. Just because this person and other people look at me and see a pretty girl doesn't mean that's what I look at and see. If I could see myself and see me the way my boyfriend does, the way some of my close friends do, the way some of you do; I wouldn't have any insecurities. I'd have a much better self image. I can't do that though and I'm going to be insecure about things. I used to NEVER look in mirrors because I so hated everything I saw. I wouldn't even look in reflective glass because I couldn't stand the reflection. I have come a long way from where I used to be.

"Sassy Lindsay", I don't think you being physically ugly has anything at all to do with why the girls and guys in your life treat you the way they do. I think it's your ugly attitude. Maybe you're open disdain and hostility towards them because they're pretty has something to do with it. It may be your bitchy, bitter, ugly attitude that does you in and not the exterior. Guys might not pass you by if you were a bit nicer. Maybe if you stopped being so judgmental of others, they wouldn't be so judgmental of you. If you dropped that bitter, ugly chip off your shoulder you might be better off all around.

Have a good weekend y'all.

HNT: Physical Flaws

I want y'all to send me pictures! If you already have, thank you! I want to see trees, sunshine, lips, booze, boobs, pets, toys, rain, shoes, candy, random street signs, legs, bright colors, piercings, silly face shots, beaches, whatever you want to send me. Pervy isn't discouraged but isn't a must. Most of the pictures I have so far aren't pervy at all but they're all pretty awesome. On Monday, I will post a very image heavy post to show off all the pictures I have received. Go here to read all the details. Come on, it'll be fun! =o)

I have a couple more t-shirt pictures I'll be using but this week we're taking a break from that. Another Suburban Mom wrote a post commenting on the ideals of "realm women" stemming from the ordeal about the "plus size" model showing her less than toned belly in Glamour magazine recently. She then came up with the idea to do a "Flaws" HNT this week and invited other people to join her in displaying something we wouldn't normally show off for HNT.

I find the subject of flaws to be an interesting one be the physical or the non-physical flaws. In this post, I'll only be touching on my physical flaws. In thinking about what to do with this post, I came to realize that for the most part, I'm okay with my physical self for the most part. The flaws that bother me most aren't things you can physically see or touch. The idea here is pictures though so in thinking about the things I'd like to change most physically, I wound up feeling rather silly admitting to the features I find flaw in. Flaws are so subjective though. I can look at something and see plenty wrong with it but then my boyfriend, a friend or someone comes along and finds me silly in my thinking. They see the same thing and don't see a thing wrong with it at all. Along with the subjectivity of it, we're also usually our own worst critics as well. I know personally, no one is harder on me (about any and everything) than I am on myself.

I know a lot of people would post a picture of their stomach, thighs, legs or hips. I'm fine with my stomach. I like my wide hips and am proud of their shape. I like my long legs with my muscular calves just fine too. I'm okay with my feet. I'm happy with my arms and hands. I like my cheeks. I like my lips. I like my back. I love my boobs. I pretty much like most of my body honestly.

So what do I consider flawed? I do have a few things I obsess over.

I made a slideshow of all the pictures of body parts that I find flaws in.

The first one is my forehead. I think it's the thing I am most self-conscious about honestly. It's huge to me. Which is why I like to wear hats a lot and keep my hair layered so I always have shorter strands to brush over my forehead.

The next four are shots of my nose. I wish it were smaller.

The next one is my neck. I prefer leaving my hair down and around my shoulders. I HATE having to pull my hair back because that leaves my neck exposed.

The next two are shots of my ears. I know, who considers ears flawed? Me. I think as a general rule that ears look slightly odd. I used to get teased for having big ears by kids in school when I was young and I still think they're too big. I like having my hair down to keep my neck from being exposed but also because it keeps my ears covered up too. Plus, I just look better with my hair down, lol.

The last two are pictures of my ass. It's shapely, since round is a shape but I really wouldn't mind it being smaller. Some days, I'm okay with my ass but most days, I'm wishing it was less out there, lol.





Happy Thursday!

That's when I made my great escape....

Everyone has things they are self conscious about. Me? I'm self conscious about several things.

Things that lots of other people are self conscious about as well. My big butt. My big hips. My big boobs. Though, I've become less self conscious about my boobs and more accepting of them. Partly because of just learning to be comfortable in my skin, part of it because of other things and another smaller part that I will attribute to playing HNT.

My broad shoulders. I've always had broad shoulders for a girl. I suppose it makes sense. I need something to help support those giant boobs right? It's always made me feel like a shorter Amazon woman though.

My big feet. I wear a size 10 and often have trouble finding shoes I like in my size. For some reason, apparently, girls with big feet only like to wear ugly shoes. Go figure. Not. When it comes to my Vans and DC's, I often just buy guys shoes because I can find things I like in my size.

My ears. To me, I have big ears. I also think they look strange. I'm not sure why honestly. I just like to pick myself apart. I've always felt awkward and self conscious about my ears though. Which is why I almost never tuck my hair behind my ears or wear my hair pulled back. I do love my cartilage piercing though. It's probably my favorite piercing despite that it bled the most when I got it done in the piercing parlor. I love it but people that don't know me often don't even know the piercing exists. I feel rather silly admitting that I'm self conscious about my ears but oh well. ;)

I love MySpace. I don't care how many people talk bad about it or how many people find it annoying. I've moved a LOT in my short life. I'm 23 and have moved more than 20 times. A lot of those I was moving around the same area but still, I didn't live in towns so small that people on the other side of town knew half of everyone on the other side of town. So it was always new people. I've made a lot of friends in my home state of Texas and more friends in California. I have friends who have gone away to college and then ended up moving and staying there because they liked the area better. Friends who have joined the military and moved across the US and some even to different countries. I have friends who have moves overseas. Friends who moved here and there. MySpace provides a fun and convenient way for all of us to stay in touch with friends as well as family. As well as allow me a little more access to the lives of bloggers I've become internet friends with. I know a lot of people hate social networking websites because they say they're only good for causing drama and other trouble. I actually did a post on that theory here so y'all know how I feel about that. I disagree and don't believe that the social networking websites are the cause of the drama. If you missed it or need a reminder, click the link to open it in a new window and check out the post. So here's a screen shot of a group of shots off my MySpace pictures. Of course, I covered some up with others that are in my MySpace photo albums. I'm not plastering my boyfriend's face on my blog. He wouldn't appreciate it so I won't do that. Don't forget to click for a non-MySpace shot. ;)

Happy Thursday y'all!!!!!

I sit alone and watch the clock tryin' to collect my thoughts...

Sometimes, I spill things on my clothes. At times, my lips develop little holes as I drink and liquid spills out in tiny amounts. Things don't always want to stay on my fork and things slide off my spoon.

My shoes come untied and I'm so oblivious to them that I don't realize they are undone until I step on them and almost fall over. I walk into doors and sometimes even walls. I trip walking up stairs from time to time and occasionally I trip over my own two feet, when my shoes are tied.

My hair gets messy and most of the time, I'll leave it a wavy tangled mess. My clothes don't always match and I don't give a shit about fashion or trends.

I burp when I drink carbonated beverages and usually the result is something louder than what most guys can produce. That makes me giggle. Okay that's not totally true. I don't need a carbonated drink to burp loudly. It happens with water, juice, milk and anything else I drink. I get insanely hyper and silly when I have a lot of caffeine or sugar. I'm picky about what I eat but I'm willing to try almost anything.

I sleep all over the bed. Sometimes I steal the covers. Sometimes it's too hot and I don't want to be covered at all. Other times, sometimes only an hour after being too hot, I'm too cold and I want the covers back that I just kicked off. I sleep on my stomach but sometimes I need to sleep on my side. Most of the time I want to be cuddled but sometimes, I don't want to be touched at all.

I'm stubborn and don't have a lot of patience. I have a bad temper and I can lose it rather quickly. Other times I hold it well until it all bubbles over and I explode like a volcano. It's usually something small and ridiculous that pushes me over the edge. The person that delivers that final tiny shove is usually the least deserving of my angry outburst.

I cuss too much. Even more when I'm angry. I get road rage sometimes and the things that come out of my mouth could make some grown men cringe. I love a lovely mouth but some very nasty things come out of it when I'm pissed off. I don't think before I speak most of the time.

I smoke when I get stressed or annoyed.

I drink. Just because I like the taste and I like how it feels.

I'm headstrong, opinionated and bluntly honest. Since I don't often think before I speak, sometimes I blurt out things that would have been better left unsaid. Usually it isn't a big deal but sometimes, I hurt people needlessly without meaning too. I feel like a shithead after that happens.

Even though I speak before I think and I say a lot of things I shouldn't, I don't always say the things I should. Sometimes I hold things in for far too long.

I'm weird and quirky. I do things that are weird, I say things that are odd. I think in different ways than a lot of people do. I do some things in ways that aren't the right way. I'm moody and my moods change a lot, often times with no warning at all.

I'm adventurous and sometimes a little reckless in my adventures. I'm not afraid of getting hurt and even though I'm analytical, I don't always consider all the cons of things I do. If it seems like fun or seems exciting, I want to try it. I love adrenaline and I figure I'm only going to live once and I want to enjoy it.

I'm not perfect but I never said I was either. I don't strive to be perfect either. I don't believe perfection really exists in the flawless, extraordinary way that people tend to think of when they hear the word perfect.

Someone said something to me a few years and at the time he said it, I thought he was crazy. I was 18. We were sitting in my apartment living room one night, with the television on even though we weren't watching it. We had nachos and margaritas. His boyfriend had just broken up with him to go back to an ex-boyfriend. We had started talking about how he thought this guy was going to be the one for him and some how we got to talking about perfection. I don't remember much of what was said because this happened 5 years ago but one thing my friend said to me stuck out in my mind.

"In my eyes, you're completely perfect because you're not perfect at all."

I didn't get what it meant when the person said it to me at the time. I thought a lot on it and just couldn't understand how he could see perfection in someone who was so filled with flaws. At the time, I was younger and I was struggling with myself. I couldn't figure out who or what I was. Not what other people expected me to be but what I expected me to be.

I annoy the people who love me sometimes. I annoy my friends, co-workers and acquaintances at times. I'm sure there are times when those around me would like to slap me silly and other times when they would like to shake me senseless. Or in some cases, shake some sense into me. It goes both ways because sometimes, I'd like to do the same to them.

Sometimes the way I act and the things I say are frustrating to no end. Other times they will piss you off. Here and there I can be upsetting. I might come off as bitchy, rude or arrogant at times.

I'm okay with that. I'm okay in most of my flaws too. They make me me. I wouldn't be who I am without the good and the bad.

Happy Monday y'all!