Therapy and 20 things to be happy about.

*Dusts off blog*

I recently started seeing a therapist. I say recently because it hasn't seemed like long at all but now that I think about it, it's been several months since I made my first appointment. That's not really what this post is about though I mentioned it because therapy is what plays a role in me sitting here typing into this screen.

I love writing. I used to write often. I was even working on a book of short stories at some point last year. The worse the state of my mental health got, the less I wrote until I had stopped completely. Only a few people knew about the short stories I was writing and anyone ever asking how my writing was going once I had stopped was painful. I didn't want to admit that I'd lost my desire to do one of my favorite things. That my head was in such a dark place, all I could think to write was things I didn't want other people reading because it seemed so telling to me. So, I'd put on that fake smile I was so used to and oddly very comfortable wearing and would say it was going fine, that I just needed to make more time to write. Or some such nonsense to hide the fact that I'd stopped. 

In seeing a therapist, we got around to discussing why I wasn't writing. She suggested I try blogging again since I'd previously mentioned that before. She thought it would help, for a number of reasons. I sat down and tried more times than I can remember only to walk away sad and frustrated and angry at myself for not being able to put anything to paper. Once, she mentioned I could try blogging about mental health. I automatically rejected that because I hadn't even told anyone I was seeing a therapist. She mentioned it again a couple months later. I tried. Instead, I took to my Twitter account and started tweeting about mental health there more often, joining the #EndTheStigma crowd. 140 characters or less was pretty much all I could manage in terms about speaking about mental health but I was happy because I was making progress. My thoughts were coming together again and I was able to actually connect with several new people who were looking for people that understood what they were struggling with. 

So here I am today, writing this and feeling like a champ because this far exceeds a handful of 140 characters or less tweets. Though if you follow me on Twitter, don't think the mental health tweets will be going away because it's something I feel strongly about and I've found a little community on there where it's never discouraged to speak openly about mental health. I hope one day that's something that happens on a much larger scale and I think talking about it is a good way to break down stigma and encourage people to talk about it so it's not seen as something embarrassing or something to be ashamed of. I digress.

I decided that at least once a month, I'm going to post a list of things that make me happy because that gives me a goal to reach for in terms of getting some writing done. That's an easy subject because I've no shortage of good things in my life and oddly I haven't really lost sight of that. Which has made the struggle for mental health harder for a few reasons but that's another post for another day. Maybe. 

Anyway.... 20 things seemed like a bit of a challenge but not too difficult of a goal to reach so there's where I'll start. If you've ever done a list like this, you know it's never as easy as it sounds. 

20 Things To Be Happy About

1.) The rain finally stopping so I can get in some pool time. 

2.) I don't hate my job. So many people I know go to work every day dreading it so I'm thankful that the few days I do go in dreading it, it's just because I know the day ahead will be a particularly trying one or because I'm in a mood that has nothing to do with work itself.

3.) Short hair for the summer. 

4.) My birthday is June 15th and the boyfriend's is two weeks later. So we're having a joint birthday party on one of the weekends between the two. I'm looking forward to all the tasty food I'll get to make for that because I love cooking for others.

5.) Orange juice with a half a teaspoon of honey mixed in.

6.) Books, always and forever.

7.) An upcoming trip to Las Vegas.

8.) Our boyfriend and I just celebrated our 9th anniversary at the end of May.

9.) The smell of cinnamon rolls filling the apartment in the morning.

10.) How quiet the gym is at 6 AM.

11.) A friend is getting married next weekend and his pure excitement and happiness rises the closer the day gets and that's one of the sweetest things ever.

12.) My volunteer group. They're a bunch of weirdos but they make all the Saturday mornings I spend with them so much more enjoyable.

13.) S'more Oreos because I love almost all of the things that are S'mores.

14.) Supportive family.

15.) Having a handful of great people in my life that can always make me laugh.

16.) Vegetable and herb garden. Which is something I didn't ever think I'd enjoy but there's something awesome about being able to grow your own peppers and herbs.

17.) Board games and card games and all the games you can sit around a table playing. I grew up playing games with my family and thankfully I have a partner and a couple friends who enjoy playing games, too. 

18.) The days on the weekend where I actually manage to sleep in passed 6:30 AM.

19.) New running shoes that are actually comfortable from the start.

20.) Being comfortable in my own skin.

Happy Thursday!

Drunk tweeting...

I have one day off a week and it's always Sunday. I don't usually work until mid-afternoon on Mondays so I tend to like to relax most of the day Sunday and go out that night since it's the only time during the weekend (or at all) that I have free to do something fun. So Sunday night, the Boyfriend and I watched hockey all day. Then went to dinner, then went to have drinks. More so, I drank while he had water and we kept each other entertained. It feels good to just relax with a foamy green drink, playing scrabble in a booth and having a good time. And definitely being out of the house and not being at work are two big pluses. I digress. I really shouldn't be allowed to keep my phone in my hand when I start drinking because I want to tweet. And sometimes text. Mostly, I know my friend's schedules and I don't text them when I run the risk of waking them up. I'm considerate like that.

So I'm sharing a few of the things I tweeted while at the bar Sunday night.

Tweets:

"just made the boyfriend listen to "drunken sailor" by blaggards just for the part where they talk about shaving balls w/ a rusty razor, haha"

"My hair smells good enough to eat, if you like coconut flavor. And eating hair. Trying to eat or harm my hair will get you punched, though."

"I just thought of something. There needs to be a strip club where only Suicide Girl-esque girls work & only dance to punk, metal, etc."

That third tweet was the most popular, even though it was Sunday night and I tweeted it after midnight. My timeline was slow but people came out of the woodwork to chime in on that opinion. I knew more of you were still up and just lurking about late at night. ;)

Also, that's one of the best ideas I've ever had. I need to get a loan or a really rich business partner and make that club happen.

The band I mentioned in the first tweet is now following me on Twitter. Which is cool because I found out not only are they a cool Irish Rock band but they're also from Houston so they're a cool Irish Rock band from Texas. Which is even better.

I also tend to tweet pictures of random things around me when I tweet and drink. For some reason, most of those didn't post last night. Which is sad because there were some cool shots. I'll just have to repost them to my Tumblr when I have some free time. ;)

Happy Tuesday!

I could not kiss, just regress...

Thanks to everyone that commented on this post. I appreciate the comments and the couple e-mails I got in response to it. I don't appreciate the negative comments that are full of name calling and insults. If you left those, they didn't get posted, obviously. I don't mind people disagreeing with me. Not one bit. However, calling me a bitch and telling me I have my head stuck up a camel's ass along with a sleuth of other random and giggle inducing insults? Not going to publish that shit. Disagree with me all you want but articulate your point without being insulting and rude.

I NEED SOME SECRETS for my Saturday posts. :D If you want to submit a secret for me to use next weekend (COME ON, DON'T BE SHY! :D) then just e-mail it to me: amorousrocker [at] gmail [dot] com. Or leave it as a comment here anonymously if you want to do it that way and I'll copy it and use it for next weekend's Secrets post. ;)



I posted that picture on my Tumblr yesterday after I saw it posted on Laken's Tumblr. I love rainbows and with the angle of the picture and the road covered with stuff fresh after some rain? It just looks beautiful to me.

I started reading "Alice In Wonderland" again a few days ago. I haven't read that book in years but decided I wanted to re-read it. It's still one of my favorites. I love that I haven't read it in so long but still remember most of it. Though, some bits I forgot so it's nice when I get to a part I don't remember. I've also been reading Edgar Allen Poe again here lately. I think it's been a good 6 months since I picked up a poetry book and read. I always feel like drawing after I read Poe. Not sure why. It just inspires me creatively in an odd way. :D

I tweeted this yesterday: "People almost always react funny when I say I don't particularly like bacon. I'm not a pork person. I don't like the meat Babe has to offer." I immediately got some joking tweets about people not being able to like me, love me or be online buddies with me any longer because I'm not a big fan of bacon. I got one tweet from someone who could relate. Then two more from people who don't eat any meat. I never quite get what the big deal about not liking bacon is. When I was younger, I LOVED it. I stopped liking it around the time I started working a job as a teenager where I worked around bacon and smelled it ALL THE TIME. After smelling it and seeing it so much, I didn't like it as much and only ate it on burgers. Then, I went from working around it and smelling it to actually getting to cook the bacon once I was working the opening shift. More than a pound of it. 6 mornings a week. I already didn't like it but that? Totally put me off of it. I just amuses me (and admittedly baffles a little bit, too) how people react to me not liking bacon. Like it's some sort of mortal crime or something. I could say I dislike sausage (which I do, seriously, not a pork person) and it doesn't get near the reaction not liking the All Mighty Bacon gets. People are crazy about bacon. *nods*

Musical Monday video for today? "Glycerine" by Bush. They have been one of my favorite bands since I was 14 and first heard one of their songs on the radio. I really enjoy their songs. I like and relate to a lot of what their songs are about. Also? I LOVE Gavin Rossdale's beautiful voice. *swoon*

Happy Monday!

Comments, please?

In my head...

I hate when you're trying to apply nail polish and you sneeze really hard out of no where and end up with nail polish all over your fingers. And sometimes clothes and other things in the area.

I also hate how nothing itches until you have wet fingernails.

I always pick at the nail polish. It never has a chance to chip away because I peel it away.

Edit: Sarahbear Someone (sorry, I forgot who but speak up if it was you) tweeted a quote they had seen on Facebook. "Don't worry about karma. She's only a bitch if you are." That made me chuckle.

Yesterday, I got my Crayola crayons out and started drawing. I draw better with pencil but I didn't have any colored pencils to draw with so the crayons had to do. (You can click on both pictures to see the bigger versions.)

I made a cute cupcake.



And then this. I was disappointed with this a little bit. I definitely would have done better on this one with some pencils instead of crayons. Ah well.



Something else about Crayola? I love the smell of crayons. LOVE it.

I tweeted yesterday about how parking garages make me nervous. I was walking through one on my way to yesterday's waste of time job interview and tweeted about how they make me nervous. Most of the replies had to do with saying they could relate because they made them nervous because they were scared of being attacked in them as well. I made another tweet to clarify that wasn't why I'm nervous about them. I'm not afraid of being attacked in them. I'm scared of the structure itself. I know they're secure enough but I'm always nervous I'm going to be walking through and the whole thing is just going to collapse. Rather irrational fear I suppose but it's not impossible; just improbable.

I also have issues with escalators. I'm always anxious that my clothes will get stuck in them or that I'll fall some how or that something will go wrong. I'd rather walk up flights of stairs over being on an escalator.

Bridges make me nervous, too. Only when I'm driving across them or in a car going across one, though. If I'm walking or standing on one, I do okay.The only exception to that are those bridges made of rope and board. I won't cross one, they terrify me.

I've gone cliff diving, jumped off bridges into the ocean, skim boarded and hung out on a beach during a hurricane on multiple occasions, done the skycoaster and done tons of other really risky fun things that were often also potentially dangerous. Yet try to get me on an escalator or get me to drive over a bridge and I'm packed full of anxiety. Most of the things that really bother me are all irrational fears that I know aren't likely to happen but know could happen. I have very few rational fears.

Happy Friday!

Comments, please?

Picture show! & other stuff...

My birthday is in 4 more days. :) Hooray for turning 25 and insurance rates lowering a few bucks. Lol.

I was on Twitter and decided there were a couple people I wanted to go unfollow because they just cause a bunch of drama and start petty bullshit. I enjoy their blog posts but following them on Twitter? Not so much. So I got started and ended up finding more people to unfollow. I had 5 in mind and ended up unfollowing 83 people, lol. I doubt most of them will notice and I don't particularly care one way or another. I'm just happy to clean my timeline up a little bit. :)

My hair has gotten so long! I usually keep it shoulder length or a bit shorter. It's several inches below my shoulders now. I like it but with this heat and the lack of air conditioning, it's driving me crazy and I'm thinking I'll take a pair of scissors to it sooner or later. Probably sooner. Just to trim a few inches off of it. Even though I trimmed a couple inches off just a couple weeks ago. This picture is after I trimmed it up. Click it to big it.



I was waiting for my job interview to start on Wednesday and noticed this sign hanging.



I just giggled and had to snap a picture of it and share. I love things that are suggestive without being necessarily dirty. I posted it to my Twitter account and was amused by how amused some people were by it. The sign was hanging above to hallway that leads back to the restrooms. Which amused me more.

Now to share some stuff I posted on my Tumblr, because there are some awesome pictures on there but not many people check it out. :) I didn't take these pictures. I just find them and post them. Unless I say otherwise, it's not my photography on there. Just stuff I like or like the looks of. ;)

Ducks are one of my favorite animals. This Mandarin duck is SO FUCKING PRETTY.




This one is from a beach in California. I love the beach and the ocean. I found this picture particularly striking but I'm not sure why.



Next? The Chicago Blackhawks beat the Philadelphia Flyers Wednesday night to win the Stanley Cup. They're the champions this year so congratulations to them. This picture? Some celebrating going on with Toews and Kane.



And since I posted some hockey players, I'll finish the picture show with a picture of the design of a t-shirt I so want. I hope this store still has these for a long time because once I am working again and have the money to spend, I want to buy this shirt.



There are some awesome hockey related shirts on this website. I posted more of the designs I really liked on my Tumblr. Actually, I want so many of them but that one? One of my favorites. LOL xD

Happy Friday!

LEAVE A COMMENT ALREADY! Please? :D

This and that..

I posted this picture on my Tumblr page a little while ago. I just posted several pictures by the same photographer, actually. His photos are GORGEOUS. Most of them are real but some are digitally composed. If it's digitally mastered, he says so. If not, it's not. This one here? Not. Fucking beautiful, am I right? If you want to see more photos like that, you know, absolutely beautiful and occasionally breathtaking, I urge you to click the link and go through his sets on Flickr. Also if you have a Tumblr page, let me know. I'm always looking for more people to follow. Don't follow me if all you're looking for is erotic or naughty pictures. I rarely post anything like that on mine. There's a million other pages you can follow for that. I don't have a want or need to be that saturated in sex, though. No offense to anyone at all. I do follow a few people who post amazing, sexy stuff. I just don't use Tumblr expressly for that and don't immerse myself in it. Erotic photos stop being so sexy if you're looking at them every day, at least to me they do. It just becomes something normal and loses some of that appeal. I'm only speaking for myself, lol.

If you've read my blog regularly or for long enough, you've probably seen me post about my friend Fangs before. He's one of my best friends. He did one of my Through Their Eyes posts a while back also. I convinced him he needed to be on Twitter, even though I don't remember exactly why I was trying to get him on there in the first place. Even I don't always understand the methods in my madness but I digress. You should definitely go follow him, if you haven't already. @FireFangs66. He's awesome. :D

My younger sister sent me to her Tumblr page last night to read an argument she had and won with a stupid girl in one of her circles. She's not friends with the girl but they have mutual friends. Totally not going into the debate but it was a good topic and my little sister owned this girl's ass by the end of it. It makes me smile to see my younger sister has grown into such a logical, level headed little person. Who turns 20 this November. Holy shit, how did that happen? Seriously, she turned 16 last year I think. Anyway. I hadn't ever peeped at her Tumblr page before even though I knew she had one. I felt like it would be some invasion of privacy. Which is ironic because it's a public page on the internet but still. I didn't want to go look at it anyway. Since she sent me there to read the debate, I went back a few pages to see what kind of stuff she had posted. I found? Awesome stuff. Lots of funny stuff that made me laugh and plenty of things that are similar to things I have posted or would post. I snagged a few because they were great and I wanted to share them. And no, I will not be sharing my little sister's Tumblr page with anyone so don't even ask.





I'll probably post these again on Tumblr one day, maybe. That girl's nails? OMG WANT. That's too fucking cool. I don't even like getting my nails done and have never once gone to get a manicure or pedicure from a salon or nail place. I can't afford something like that right now but maybe one day if I can find someone to do that for me, I'd go for it. :D

The last one is from the movie 10 Things I Hate About You. Still one of my favorite movies, ever. I love it. I haven't watched it in a few months either so I think it's about time to remedy that one day here soon. :)

Leave a comment?

XoXo

This and that...

If you haven't, you definitely should go check out the video for the winner of the sex toy contest that I posted yesterday. ;)

I got an invite to a Facebook group that was actually cool. Usually, my friends invite me to things I pass on. "Mustache Ride Monday", "If you hate getting food stuck in your teeth" and other nonsense stuff. Granted, I joined a few that are nonsense to most people but I don't invite anyone to them. I got a good one yesterday. "Make It Illegal to Protest at Military Funerals" is of course, a group created because of a certain group of people whose name I won't even mention. Most of y'all should know who I'm talking about. What other group of people protests funerals besides the one that won't be named? Douches.


If you don't follow me on Twitter, you're missing out. ;) So, I'm going to post a little of the random, pointless crap I tweet about right now.

AshlyStar: My tip for today: Socks go on before the shoes. Don't try it shoes first, it will not end well. You're welcome.

AshlyStar: Too bad people don't have a mute button

AshlyStar: Why are there no robots to roll around doing my laundry for me? The Jetsons were so misleading about the future.


I posted this to my Tumblr yesterday.



Click the picture to go to my Tumblr and see the bigger version of it. The angle that this photograph was taken at? Fucking awesome. Not to mention I watched the game and know the action that was going on the moment this got snapped. The player positioning and the angle just rock. Too bad that one Shark that I *really* can't fucking stand (more so than the others, lol) is in it but oh well. Still a kick ass photograph.


Law Abiding Citizen and The Blind Side (especially the The Blind Side) are two of the best movies I've seen recently. L.A.C. just because I didn't figure out everything and have the plot and ending figured out before the movie was over. I hate that. The Blind Side is just heartwarming and amazing. And a damn good movie for anyone who wants to blame the world around them for why they can't succeed as well as someone else. It's touching and quite good.

Happy Tuesday!

Leave a comment? :)

Really? Yeah...

The Boyfriend showed me some info on a guy at work . He's in his mid-twenties. The guy's name is Cocaine. Yes, it is pronounced exactly like the drug. Yes, the dude does go by his middle name instead. His middle name doesn't also happen to be the name of a drug, thankfully lol. He had to log in to a program he uses for work and show me proof. I refused to believe someone would name their kid that otherwise. I get it, you have a right to name your kid what you want blah blah. That's cool but you don't have the live with that name your entire life, they do. Glad you think it sounds cool at the time but seriously, it's not. Think about how it's going to effect them in the long run before you go naming your kid something stupid as fuck like that.

I Twitter. I know a lot of people find it annoying, pointless, stupid, etc. Ask me if I care? (I don't, lol.) Some of the people I follow say some awesome things. I'm going to post some stuff from Twitter on my blog.

@carnivalesq Dogs apparently bark at what they don't understand. Cats put their feet on what they don't understand. Honestly? Dog method is where its at.
@carnivalesq Why? Because if I don't understand a bomb, I'd rather be barking at it than touching it with my feet.

@BlackoutDallas @AshlyStar as a good sports writer once said - "watch the damn game!" haha

@badbadgirlx @AshlyStar I remember as a teenager hearing "Love conquers all or it isn't really love." I believed it then.. boy, was I fucking wrong.

@msuchrisr @AshlyStar Whatever happened to the adult discussion that ends in a "agree to disagree"? It's a lost art!


Things I said:

@AshlyStar: "Avs didn't deserve to win tonight!" Fuck y'all. Anderson kept 51 pucks out of the net. He did a stellar job tonight even if the rest didnt.

@AshlyStar: I wish money would have sex in my pocket and multiply.
@sqweakers: Agreed! If it were only that easy.
@AshlyStar: If only! I'd put a few 100 dollar bills in my pocket & hope for an orgy. Lol


@AshlyStar: My sister just posted this on my Facebook wall, lol. It's a shot of Shane Doan after his goal against Detroit tonight... the caption though? XD Lol. http://twitpic.com/1g7j5x


@SabresDotCom The 99 combined hits by the Sabres/Bruins in Game 2 were the most in a non-OT playoff game since the start of 2006 Playoffs. ---Um, HOLY SHIT. That is insane!

Woo, that's all I've got for today. I'm tired and not in the best of moods here lately.

Happy Monday.

Like memories of dying days...

Last night was the first meet up between Team USA and Team Canada for the Olympics AND USA WON 5-3! Kessler's empty net goal to close the deal and put USA up by 2 with less than a minute left in the game was amazing. We don't have cable or satellite but luckily, we found a sports bar that was showing the game. And even had the audio for the game on! I'd say a little less than half the bar was watching hockey. There was a poker tournament going on that was getting more attention. I don't care though, I love hockey. And yes, NBC's lame coverage annoys me too. I hate that people say, "No one cares about hockey." Fine, you don't care about it, I don't care. A vast majority of the United States doesn't care about it? fine, I don't care. No one likes hockey? Tell that to the millions of hockey fans all over the US alone that look forward to watching their favorite teams in not just the NHL, but the AHL and other leagues as well. Tell that to the millions of people who buy tickets, get season tickets and look forward to going to see a game played live. Hell, I look forward to just getting to watch a game. I get it though. Hockey isn't wildly popular in America. I live in Texas, seriously, I get that it's not as popular as the NFL, NBA or MLB. I also have a ton of friends and plenty of family members who couldn't care less about hockey, never watch a game, don't understand it, don't care to understand it, etc. Blah blah blah. Just because it's not wildly popular doesn't mean that "no one here likes hockey" because yeah, that's bullshit. Drive down to Victory Avenue in Dallas on a night when the Stars are playing and tell the people who are decked out in jerseys and team t-shirts that they're only fooling themselves because really, deep down, none of them really like hockey. Don't say that "absolutely no one likes XYZ" because no matter what it is, somewhere, there are people who will like and enjoy whatever you're claiming no one likes. (Warning. Something I find gross is about to be said. You may even find it crude, graphic and down right vomit inducing. Don't say I didn't warn you if you end up throwing up in your mouth a little bit. If you wanna skip it, just move down to the next paragraph.) Even if it's fucking someone in the ass, ejaculating inside of them and then using a baby spoon to remove the sperm from said ass only to feed it to the person you came in or eat it yourself. Yes, that's disgusting. I used that as an example because I have a friend who used to do that with an ex-girlfriend. My point is, don't say "no one is into this so...." because no matter what it is, there are people out there who dig it.

No one need take that as a personal attack by the way. I'm directing that more at articles and a few obnoxious people. The obnoxious people in question know I'm talking about them because we've had our "discussions" on it already. So, if I didn't discuss this with you already, don't feel like it's aimed at you or anything. Unless you want to, then whatever. =p

The always helpful, wonderful, Osbasso fixed my layout for me. Thanks, Os! The side columns were not wide enough and stuff was cut off because of that. That problem doesn't exist anymore. How does it look? I'm still on the hunt for a template that screams out at me. So you know, if you know any websites for templates for blogger that are free, let me know. =) Please & thank you. The address to my blog along with the name I blog under is probably going to change next week. So, get ready, bwahaha. You'll just have to change your links in your blogrolls, bookmarks, etc though. You'll get automatically redirected if you try to come to this address.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR JESSICA! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! - While I don't have permission to post the link to Jessica's livejournal, I did have permission to wish her a happy birthday as long as I didn't post the address of her sacred space. ;) Happy 21st Birthday, girlie! Hope you have a good one!

Y'all know I do the Twitter thing. I also do the formspring thing, once in a while. I thought it was goofy. I was super bored one night so I gave it a shot. It was fun. I do it irregularly now. Saturday night, I got some good/interesting questions. So, I'm going to post them here. You can anonymously ask questions & the few I'm posting today were all asked anonymously. Enjoy!

Everyone asks about positives, what about negatives? Thing you won't eat? Place you never want to visit? Person you never care to meet? Sex act you say "no" to? Music you won't listen to? Team you never want to win Stanley Cup?

Oh! I love this one! No clue who asked this but thank you. =)

Mountain Oysters. If you don't know what that is some how, look it up. =)

Russia. I have nothing against it, just not somewhere that I'd want to visit.

That's a long list, lol. Most famous people honestly. Celebrities don't interest me much.

Anything involving shit, piss, vomit or animals.

There isn't much I won't listen to. I can't stand most of the pop crap that comes on the radio though. Lady GaGa, Beyonce, etc. I also really can't stand most rap.

Haha. I wouldn't say I never want a team to win it because those guys all play their asses off and work really damn hard for it. I'd never deny someone an achievement they worked hard to get. I'll admit I wouldn't be happy about the Sharks, Capitals, Flames, Ducks, Devils or Flyers winning it though since those are the 6 teams I dislike most. Though, each of those teams has at least one player on there that I like but that's not enough to make me smile if they won the Stanley Cup. ;)


Is it healthy to be in a relationship when you can't get along with in-laws?

You're not in a relationship with your in-laws. You and the person you're with is the more important relationship. You won't like everyone, you won't get along with everyone and that applies to in-laws and your SO's family in my opinion. Granted, not getting along with your SO's family makes it a bit more difficult if your SO has a decent relationship with their family.


Is there a odor that makes you instantly sick?

Cabbage cooking. The smell makes my stomach churn instantly & blech.


What would the founding fathers think of the USA today, if brought back to life in 2010?

I have no idea. As far as I know, I'm not any of the founding fathers reincarnated so I wouldn't begin to speculate about the disappointment or joy they get from the current progression of things.


WHICH IS BETTER: chicken or beef? apples or oranges? sex or chocolate? hockey or football? massage or lots of kissing? the icing or the cake? starbucks or dutch bros? google or bing? one tree hill or gossip girl? american idol or so u think u can dance?

Chicken. Hands now.

Apples. Don't like oranges.

Sex. I'm not a fan of chocolate.

HOCKEY. Duh.

Massage. Then lots of kissing after.

The cake. Not a big fan of icing.

Starbucks. Dutch Bros. sucks IMO. Not at all sad we don't have them in Texas.

Google.

House.

House.

Happy Monday!

It's a big one!

I had to bring back the damn word verification on comments. Sorry but it won't be there long. Just a couple weeks to get the spam out of here. I contemplated just disabling anonymous comments but I have a lot of super long time readers who comment that way since they don't have blogs and don't want their google account info out there. It's all good. Word verification is just a minor inconvenience. A temporary one at that.

Also, I'm going to be changing something soon. I'll have a new URL and I'll be writing under a different name. The blog title will be the same. The content will be a bit different. The name I'll be writing under will be my real first name though. I'm a little freaked out by that but meh, not really. I'm doing that because I am writing articles for a couple different websites and I want to be able to tie those in with my blog. The articles are under my real first name though and tying them in with my blog will help for the exposure that I want to get with that. The content change won't be huge. Just the addition of the articles, more posts with substance, much less about sex, more about sports than I already post, more creative writing like I used to do and all around just less crap. I'll still post pictures but I will not be participating in HNT anymore, ever. I just don't care to do it anymore. I don't have any interest in it. It's not that I don't want to do it because I think I have too many people coming here just to perv at my tits or whatever. I don't care about that. I just don't have an interest in doing it anymore. Anyway, I'm working on design for the new blog and eventually just want my own domain. I'll need help with that. After I can afford it which is the issue with not setting up my own domain now, lol. Anyway, moving on to something else.

I'm almost done with the book of stories I'm doing too. It's a collection of all the weird and sometimes crazy dreams I have. I got the idea from several people to put a collection of those stories together and make a book. I've been working on it for months. I think I've got a good amount now, I just have another dream I want to add to it. A recurring one I have. I'm just having trouble writing it but I'm happy it's all coming together.

My Stars play the Columbus Blue Jackets tonight. Which will be interesting because CBJ just fired their head coach, Ken Hitchcock, yesterday. Hitchcock is also a former Dallas Star's head coach. We played a damn good game on Tuesday night against the Minnesota Wild. We won that one in regulation 2-4. Turco, who has had a struggle this season, played the best game he's played all damn season. Which I hope he can keep up since they're talking trades in regard to him. He's one of my favorite players (I'm wearing my Turco Stars jersey tshirt right now as a matter of fact) and I'd be sad as hell to see him go. Though if that does end up happening, I'm not going to be surprised since I expect it to given his performance this season. Hopefully the Stars play tonight the way they did Tuesday. Aside from Turco being solid in net, the whole team played better than they have in a while. Everyone seemed like they were working really well together and it was a damn good game. Much better than Sunday against Phoenix. The Boyfriend and I went to the Phoenix game and bleh, that was a sad game to sit through. Though we always stay until the very end. I did get some cool pictures during the game that I spammed Twitter with, lol.

Speaking of Twitter, I asked for some questions and said I'd answer 5 of them on my blog today. I got some really good questions. Please don't be offended if I didn't pick yours to answer on here. Especially since I already privately answered the ones I didn't use, lol.

@TonyChliek: If you could do it all over again what one thing would you change? Remember your life will take a 180 if you change anything.

Easy. I wouldn't change anything at all. I realize that changing one thing in the passed could end up changing entirely everything about the present if I had the chance to go back and change something. So, I wouldn't change a thing. Everything I've done up until this point, while sometimes reckless and stupid, has gotten me to where I am today and made me the person I am. I don't regret the way I've lived my life even though I've done some dumb things, illegal things, made poor choice, been human, etc. I don't dwell on mistakes either. I learn from them and move on. I see no point in dwelling or second guessing things that can't be changed.


@zhukov43: if you could have had a time specific career in history what would it have been?

That's a tough one. There are a lot of things I'd dig going back and doing. I'd love to go back and join Amelia Earhart in her journey and adventures.

Perhaps a cook or something in the palace of King Loui XVI and Marie Antoinette. Just so I could creep around and see what was really going down.

Maybe go back to the late 1400's/early 1500's and be an explorer. How could would it have been to do that? I love adventure and I love the unknown. I'm always trying new things and wanting to go and see new places. I would have loved exploration back in a time when everything was so much less developed and so unknown.

I could also go back and stalk William Shakespeare. More so, I wouldn't really want to stalk him. I'd just want to find out if there was ever any truth to the controversy over rumors that he didn't write his own plays. Was he he fraud or were people just haters who wouldn't believe you didn't need a formal education to be able to write beautiful brilliance? I'm sneaky, I'd find that shit out.

That's good on that. I could go on for a long time about things in history I would have like to see or be a part of, lol.


Kevin (asked that his Twitter page not linked): I know you love watching hockey and you certainly understand it and love it so would you ever consider playing?

I did play hockey, actually. I played for several years when I was younger. Mostly it was only guys playing but there were two other girls that played in the league as well. One of my brothers played too, not on the same team. I can't recall if we ever had to play each other though. That was such a fun time in life. I loved it. I still play for fun, just not on a team. I really don't have the time to dedicate to that but it would be fun. Maybe one day. ;)


Josh (asked that his Twitter page not linked): Have you ever been kicked out of a bar or club before?

Yes but never because of something I did. It was always because of someone else that was in the group acting foolish. That hasn't happened in 5 years though. I don't hang out with morons who don't know how to act anymore. =)


Tawny (asked that her Twitter page not linked): What is one event that happened to you that was really hard to overcome?

Being in an armed robbery, having a gun to the back of my head, being surrounded by guys all in black. Having one of them yelling at me, screaming obscenities and threatening to kill me as he waved a gun at me. It was without a doubt, the most scary thing I've ever been through and it changed the way I felt about a lot of things. It changed the way I saw a lot of things. It changed me in a lot of ways. Sadly, not all of those were good changes but still, things changed and I learned to cope with the things that weren't for the better. I went through some really weird phases because I refused to talk about it and I refused to get help. I was so angry at myself because I felt so weak for feeling so scared. I was constantly anxious and on the verge of panic attacks. I was a mess and I was angry at myself for being a mess. It was the hardest thing I've gone through in all honesty. It didn't have to be as hard as I made it. I should have gone to a therapist like people wanted me to but I didn't. I should have talked about it more with someone, especially since I refused to see a therapist. I should have wrote about it. I should have talked about my feelings. I should have done that differently but I didn't and that's just the way it is. I didn't know what to do or how to deal. I was confused, hurting, angry, anxious, scared and pretty much a big fucking mess inside. I don't regret not reaching out more or going to get help though. In not doing that, I learned what I had to do to push myself through and to help myself get passed this. I did talk to my boyfriend about it and I did tell him some of what I was going through so it wasn't like I shut it all in. I had a friend I talked to a little bit as well. Though, I'm not on good terms with that dude anymore but still, he listened and tried to reach out when he wasn't too busy dwelling in his own problems. My boyfriend saw me and knew what a mess I was. He saw the crazy things I was doing like obsessively checking locks on doors and windows and obsessively going to check out what 'that noise was' every time I heard anything at all. And meh, all the other stuff I was doing. He helped me in a lot of ways and it made us closer. Had I not relied on him so much while I tried to work my issues and anxieties out, I'm not sure where I would have been. Had it not been for him, I might have killed myself with alcohol poisoning too since I was drinking more than any human being should ever drink. And having him stick by my while I teetered between working through my issues in a crazy manner and self-destructing? That made me realize that he is an absolutely wonderful guy and that what we had is truly special. I knew he was great but having an epic melt down where you're acting like an irrational, crazy, confused girl quite often or being a crazy bitch or just drowning in booze and having someone there who will stand by you in all of it and not walk away? It made me realize that my previous notion that no long term relationship would ever be worth it was so wrong. It also made me realize that I wasn't this horrible, selfish, meaningless person unworthy of love from someone other than family members.

Did you make it this far? Grab yourself a cookie, lol. This is the longest post I've written in a long time and honestly, it's not that lengthy. I definitely have posts in the archives that make this one seem like a few short paragraphs, lol.

Happy Thursday!

Sometimes goodbye is a second chance...

I had a review written up for today but something happened and I suppose Blogger ate it. It was a pretty good review, if I do say so myself. It had a nice, sexy little intro before the real review part started. It's late and I must sleep. So tonight, I'll re-write it. I should have written the review in Word first but I didn't so oh well.

Boyfriend cooked barbecue chicken sandwiches for dinner last night. So freaking tasty. I love chicken. I wouldn't ever want to be a vegetarian because I love chicken. I could live without red meat and I don't eat pork anyway. Chicken though? Mmmm.

I really want a Chipotle burrito. I've been craving Chipotle the last few days. I love their food. Bowls, burritos, whatever because it's all good to me. I'm not spending any money on things I don't absolutely need until I get a job though.

I have a Twitter. Do you have a Twitter? I keep my updates locked so you have to have an account to see what I'm rambling and ranting about over there. I don't want people making up fake accounts to read my updates under false pretenses. If a former friend of mine wants access to my updates, he can make a real account stating who he really is instead of making up a fake one. Same goes for other people, lol. I don't mind letting the real life people who know about my blog in on shit, just don't make up a fake profile and try to weasel in under a false pretense. ;)

Thanks so much for all the comments, e-mails and tweets about yesterday's post regarding my moving, my fears and my emotions. I appreciate all the responses I got from that, y'all are swell. ;)

Oh and last but not least...

There are only TWO DAYS left to enter this contest so if you're interested... get to it!


July's Blogbunnie Blog Makeover Contest!

Rules for Isabella Snow's July blog makeover contest! Entering is easy! Just copy and paste this (entire) blurb to your blog (make sure the links still work!) and then email Isabella a link to your blog post. The contest deadline is at midnight GMT July 31. One winner will be selected the following day by a drawing of names; the name will be posted here; and the winner will be emailed, as well. A new, totally original blog will be completed within two weeks of winning. One entry per blog. *Blogger.com customization only*, see the Blogbunnie Blog Design portfolio for layout options.

Now, I'm off to get some sleep. I have job hunting to do tomorrow so I (hopefully) won't stay a broke ass bitch for too long. Lol. Oh and come back tomorrow to check out the review will ya? ;)

Happy Wednesday!