I talked about this on Twitter a little the day it happened but didn't feel like blogging about it at the time. I do now.
July 29TH, my boyfriend's dog died. She was 7 years old. She suffered from a stroke, went to the vet, was doing better and recovering, then had another stroke the following morning she couldn't recover from and died. It was sad. My boyfriend called the vet right when their office opened to see if we could pick her up that day since she had been doing much better and we were supposed to be able to bring her home. Instead, he was told she had died just a few minutes prior to his call.
Her name was Akasha and she was very much a part of the family. He was crushed. I was upset. I met her when she was 2 and she was such a beautiful dog. She was loyal, protective and sweet. They say dogs often take on the personalities of their owners and I believe that given that a lot of her qualities were similar to that of traits my boyfriend has.
The boyfriend raised Akasha from the time she was a puppy. Here's a picture of her when she was a little gal.
I feel so bad for the Boyfriend. I know he misses her a lot and he was expecting her to come home, not pass away. He got bummed out being near the pet toys in a store the other day. Death is always easier when you know it's coming though it still sucks. When it's unexpected, there's that painful shock that stings along with the pain of losing something special. Hope and relief are a real bitch when it falls through.
About a week ago, I was looking out into the back yard and started crying. I was so used to standing there for a few minutes watching Akasha doing various things out back there. It was weird looking out there and not seeing her.
It's been strange. I always thought of her as "my boyfriend's dog" and I didn't realize how much a part of my life she had become in the 5 years that we've been together. I miss her, definitely more than I thought I would.
She didn't bark a lot, only when someone unfamiliar came near or at other animals that came near. Now every time I hear a random noise outside, I wonder what it is because she's not out there to scare off or take on the threatening stuff.
It's weird not having a dog around who's instantly happy to see you. That will cheer you up so fast, honestly. Bad day but then you see your dog who's got their tail thumping and tongue wagging around because they're just happy to see you.
Though I'll be honest, I'm glad she won't be in any kind of pain any longer. She had a couple minor health complications before the strokes happened that she was taking medication for. So, at leas she isn't hurting anymore.
I know a lot of people don't understand because to some people, pets are just pets, not a part of the family. Other people do understand. You train them, teaching them how to behave and how not to behave. You feed them, bathe them, play with them, take them to the vet when they're sick or hurt, miss them, care for them and love them. I do want another dog, just not any time soon. And I know there's no way my boyfriend will be ready for a new pup any time soon either.
I've been cigarette free for a whole 4 days now. I've also been a little unbearable to be around at times as a result of that though. HOWEVER, the benefits of quitting smoking far outweigh my random bouts of extreme bitchiness. I'm trying to do better for myself and since I don't much care for giving up my drinking habits, I'm going to kick smoking. Especially since I shouldn't be smoking anyway due to having a jacked up lung. Plus it's just a bad habit. Whatever, I know that and really don't need a lecture about it. I also know that it makes me smell bad, makes my hands smell bad, my clothes, blah blah blah etc etc etc. I've quit before and noticed all the little things I never noticed before and did realize it's a rather dirty, smelly habit. I am also not picking up another habit in place of kicking this one but I do chew a piece of regular yummy flavored chewing gum when I get the urge really bad. That's not a big deal anyway though because I'm an obsessive gum chewer as it is. Always worried about that bad breath you know, lol.
Has anyone seen the movie "Funny People" yet? I really want to see it (I think) but no one I know has fucking gone and seen it yet! I don't have to cash to spend on movies being broke and unemployed so I won't likely be going to the theater. It better hurry up and find its way to RebBox. I also want to see the G.I. Joe flick coming out this weekend but alas, I probably won't unless I get a job sometime in this week. I've applied at plenty of places but meh, nothing is panning out yet. I have confidence that something will turn out though.
Speaking of not having money... I was SO very sad about something. One of my favorite bands is the band Incubus. I've raved about them, used their songs for Musical Mondays and other random posts, displayed lyrics in their songs that struck a nerve with me, used lyrics from their songs as post titles countless times, etc etc. I've loved them since I was 14 (or maybe 13 close to 14, whatever) and the killer is, I've never got to see them play live. NEVER. Not once in 10 years of being a fan. It's always a money problem too that stops me from being able to go. So when I found out they would be in Dallas near the end of this month, I wanted to fucking cry because I knew there was no way I would be able to afford to go. Not even one ticket by myself. I bitched/cried about this on my MySpace during a bulletin I was posting. I had a few friends give out their sympathy because they know how much I love Incubus, how much their music means to me and how desperately I've wanted to be able to go see them. I thought about putting stuff on Ebay to sell but honestly, I don't have much. I thought about drugging my boyfriend, stealing his sperm while he slept, dressing as a man, finding some way to get around the whole huge tits things to be able to successfully pose as a man, going down to the clinic and selling off my boyfriend's sperm for money. Of course, I realized that would be a truly horrible thing to do and decided against it. Sorry for the thought baby, love you and no, don't worry about sleeping around me; I'm not going to try and steal your sperm. I thought of all the possible odd jobs I could work to get the money for the tickets and was so contemplating babysitting for a lady I know who has the most retched, obnoxious, spoiled little demon brats around. Luckily, I didn't have to go to any dreadful lengths to rake in enough money to go see my beloved Incubus. My mom saw my posting on MySpace where I mentioned how badly I wanted to go but wouldn't be able to go unless I could make a bunch of cash start growing on the trees outback. She also knows how much I love this band and knows how bad I've wanted to see them. So, my mom calls me and just starts chit chatting here and there about this and that. We're having a conversation about I don't even remember what. Then, out of no where, she says to me like it's no big fucking deal, "Oh by the way, you're going to go see Incubus." I said replied with a very articulate, "Huh? How?" To which she responded by saying something to the effect of, "You're not missing out on seeing them again. You've been a fan so long and have never got to see them, they're there and you're there and you will not miss them again." Then my totally fucking awesome mother went on to explain to me the details. She lives in CA and I'm recently back in Dallas living with Boyfriend. Thanks to the marvels of the internet, her getting tickets for me was easy as hell. Not only is my kickass wonderful mom paying for me to go see Incubus, she purchased FOUR tickets for me so I get to take Boyfriend AND two of my friends as well. I am so fucking excited. I seriously haven't been this excited about doing something in quite some time, hehe.
Speaking of my mom, I miss her well stocked kitchen. She has a million cooking utensils, pots, pans and lots of other kitchen gadgets/small appliances. I don't have even a quarter of that stuff now. I didn't even have a decent cheese grater but I luckily found a decent cheap one. I go looking for something I'd like to use and realize, oops, that's not in this kitchen. Sucks. I need to get an effing job soon so I can start buying some kitchen stuff. I never thought I would say that either. I used to not like cooking and because I didn't like it, I didn't do well at it. I love it now, I just don't have a lot to work with at the moment, lol.
Also, mosquitoes are blood sucking bastards and I hate them.
I kind of wished I had stayed in CA until summer was over, lol. Texas is hot and humid. I just *love* walking out the door and breaking a sweat before I get to the car, lol. Though really, it's a small price to pay to be HOME and happy. Texas is home for me and I am happier despite being a broke ass bitch that's sweating her ass off on a daily basis by walking outside, lol.
I'M GOING TO SEE INCUBUS! See? Told you I was seriously excited. *grin*
Back to the blood sucking bastards. I need to convince boyfriend to buy some bug repellent spray for when we go hit the track. The one you run at not the one you gamble at. ;) We go once the sun is setting so it's only in the 90's or high 80's and less humid but on the downside, the blood sucking bastards are out and about looking for flesh to dive in to.
I LOVE glowsticks. When we skip going to the track, we have a certain route we take through the neighborhood and the surrounding areas. Since we go in the evening, we take glowsticks (because I seriously have like 50 packs of them, went crazy after Halloween last year when they were on clearance hehe) so we've got a little glow going on. Plus, I really like to stop and swing them around and take pictures of it. ;) I just love glowsticks.
Happy Wednesday!
I feel so bad for the Boyfriend. I know he misses her a lot and he was expecting her to come home, not pass away. He got bummed out being near the pet toys in a store the other day. Death is always easier when you know it's coming though it still sucks. When it's unexpected, there's that painful shock that stings along with the pain of losing something special. Hope and relief are a real bitch when it falls through.
