So sleepy.

I am so damn tired. I love to work. My boyfriend thinks I work too much. I love work because I feel like I am productive. It also keeps my mind busy. I might get stressed and beyond annoyed with my idiotic co-workers but being at work, I feel sane. I'm doing something normal. I'm usually so busy making three drinks here, four drinks there, cleaning this, cleaning that, filling that container up and this and that. I don't have time to think about more than what I am physically doing at the time. Slow periods, it's time to get things clean and make sure I have everything I need. Wash dishes, stock things up, wipe this down, wipe that down. Get ready to go again during the next super busy period.

Then I have co-workers who don't annoy the shit out of me. There are only a small few I work with that I like but I don't often get close to co-workers. Between all the work, there is the casual banter between me and my co-workers. It keeps my crazy mind very occupied.

If I have a mood swing while I'm working, I focus everything on what I'm physically doing. Like Thursday night, I began feeling horribly sad a couple hours into my shift. I keep my mind focused by talking myself through the motions of what I'm doing in my head as I'm doing them. The last thing I want to do is start crying in front of a bunch of people I hardly know, lol. After about two hours, I felt better and could relax a little.

Also, staying busy helps the time go by faster. Not much sucks more than the hours at work dragging on forever. ;) I can't stand people who stand around and do nothing. It drives me crazy. I don't mind the ones who do it here and there for a breather. It's the ones who stand around flapping their jaws and doing as little as possible that I want to punch in the face. =D

Now... since I'm insanely tired and my mind refuses to think of much else... enjoy some random questions. Thank you Myspace, for all your random quizzes and surveys. =) Lol.


What was the last beverage you spilled on yourself?
Water or Dr Pepper.


Are you different now than you were six months ago?
Only in ways that I notice. I don't think anyone ever notices the tiny things I change.


When/where was the last photograph you took?
Sitting on my bed. =)


What do you think of guys that wear eyeliner?
Some guys, it looks damn good on. Most guys, not so much.


How many hours did you sleep last night? Why?
Only a few. I haven't been sleeping much lately. Which sucks because working a job where you're on your feet and moving at a quick pace most of your shift is tiring. Doing it on little to no sleep just makes it worse, lol.


Who was the last person to whom you spoke on the phone for over an hour?
My boyfriend. I miss that dork something bad.


Where did you last wear sunglasses?
Thursday on the drive to work.


What does your last text in your inbox say?
I am not checking that. It was either from my boyfriend or my friend Fangs. I can't remember which of them texted me last.


Is there anyone you trust who you shouldn’t?
No fucking way. I don't trust easily at all. It takes a long time for someone to earn trust from me.


Do you think you would make a good lawyer?
Actually, I do. I just don't have the desire to do that though I used to want to.


What are you wearing right now and why?
Super Mario boxers and an oversize black t-shirt... because that's what I sleep in when I'm unable to sleep in less.


Are you a forgiving person?
It depends on the situation and the person.


Do you currently want to scream at the top of your lungs?
No. Earlier at work I did though. Aye!


Do you think you can last for an hour without talking?
Yes. I do that often.


Is there anyone who doesn’t like you?
Plenty of people. I'm very blunt and speak my mind freely. That doesn't go over well with a lot of people.


Are you taller than your mom?
Yes, a couple inches taller.


Do you think you are a good person?
Not always. I try.


Ever had a near death experience?
Yes. I almost drowned in a lake. I've had a gun held to the back of my head while another was pointed at me from the side. I've been ran over by a car. I almost drowned again but in the ocean that time.


When is the last time you cried really hard?
A few nights ago while on the phone with my boyfriend. I just started crying and then started crying really hard. Then I'd stop for a few minutes and then I'd be sobbing again. Stop. Sob. Stop. It sucked.


Is it hard leaving people behind?
Sometimes yes, sometimes no. It depends on who you're leaving behind and why.


Have you ever seen someone you knew out in public and purposely avoided running in to them?
Yes. I don't like everyone I know. I also don't like some of the people who like me. Which is confusing in a way because I don't understand how those people still like me even though I don't like them. Especially the ones I'm not particularly nice to. Puzzling.


Do you know anyone with such a terribly annoying voice, that you can't even stand it?
That is horrible but yes, yes I do. I work with two girls with voices like that actually.


Is there someone you wish you were still close with?
I sometimes wish things hadn't gone so wrong with Cookerman. He was one of my best friends and at one point knew me better than most anyone. Sometimes, I wish things would have gone differently so we could still be friends but everything happens the way it does for a reason. I don't know if he changed because of her or if he was always meant to become the dick he is now, but mostly I'm glad we're not friends anymore as I can't stand the materialistic, self-centered asshole he has become.


Who was the last girl you talked to?
My sister or my mom. Aside from family, a girl from work that is really cool. =)


How do you handle/let go of stress?
Too many ways. Most of them aren't very good but I do them anyway. I should find a more positive, less damaging way to handle being stressed. Maybe one day.


Do you wish you never dated someone you dated?
No. I learned something from every person I ever went out with.


Would you date someone if they weren’t really your type, but had the perfect body?
No. I'd eventually get bored of looking at them. Plus, I have to have someone with a good sense of humor who can carry a conversation. I love to talk a lot of the time. I need someone who shares common interests and all that jazz.


Which TV show(s) have you seen pretty much every episode of?
HOUSE. I have not seen pretty much every episode but I have seen EVERY episode, at least twice.

Have A Great
Weekend Y'all!!!

HNT: Lilies 2

My hair is naturally wavy and dries into a mess if I don't use a blowdryer on it. Even then, it's still wavy and wild. I used to take the time to straighten my hair into long, even lines. Only for my hair to hit the Texas humidity and then go to a mess again. I rarely waste the time straightening my hair any longer. It's a waste of time because it never stays. Even after I take the time to style my hair, it looks like I rolled out of bed and didn't bother fixing it up.

I have had people ask, when will I post a picture of me smiling? The truth is, I don't smile very often but I do smile a lot. I just don't do it for no reason. I feel fake putting on a smile for the camera. When you click, you'll see a sort of smile from me. These lilies, they make me smile. It's hard to catch on camera, my smile that is. It always looks goofy to me so I don't often smile for a picture. If I notice someone staring at me, I always flash a small grin so they know I'm not Satan's spawn preparing to eat their soul or anything foolish like that. I hate to look unapproachable because really, I'm sort of a nice person. ;) People just don't tend to see that because of the way I look and the way I act. I could change that I'm sure but I really don't want to because I'm okay being me.... some days.

The pictures this week aren't that great. I almost skipped playing this week. I decided about an hour ago to play, for what reason I'm not sure. I just snapped some using my camera phone and decided to put them up. So, they aren't the best but here we go.


Happy
Thursday!

OMG YAY

I have the best boyfriend. Ever. No one can tell me differently either. I won't listen. What makes me say this? Remember the flowers he sent me about a week ago that inspired the first HNT Lilies post? Those rock. They're all finally open and smelling great. Tuesday, I got another little something in the mail from my guy. I was puzzled as to what it was as it came in a standard brown box. I checked the return address but got nothing out of that. I knew he was sending me something but I had no clue as to what it could be. I found out Tuesday and O M G y'all!



Ready?

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Still with me?

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Okay enough with the dots! Lol.

I give you..............................................

BAT BEAR!

Isn't he fucking adorable? Anyone who knows me and anyone who reads my blog enough KNOWS that I am obsessed with LOVE Batman! Love love love. I also dig stuffed animals but don't happen to advertise that little fact, lol. So when I opened the brown box and saw a box inside from Build-A-Bear Workshop, I was a little on the giddy side. When I opened it up to see a bear dressed up like my love Batman? Oh my gosh, I was just so surprised and happy. That is one of the best gifts I've ever gotten. I just love the cute little devil. Isn't my boyfriend awesome? It's okay if y'all don't think so. I still adore him.

*Happy Sigh* On to the weirdness. =)



1. When your relationships end, are you the instigator of the breakup or the recipient?

I've never been broken up with. Every relationship I've had, I've been the one to end things. Even the casual ones, I have always been the one to break things off.


2. Do you save things from your ex, or get rid of them? If you save them, how? If you trash them, how?

If it's gifts like CD's, DVD's, books or a television... well it would just be silly to trash those things. =D

Jewelry... I got a few bracelets and one necklace from ex-boyfriends and those ended up given back or thrown out in some way.

Pictures and clothing were usually burned or just thrown away. Clothing was usually just shirts that were used by me as sleep shirts that they didn't want back.

Letters, cards and other random things were also burned or just thrown away.


3. Describe your favorite ex?

I only have one ex that I like. We call him Civic. We dated and everything but we were better off as friends and didn't stay together long. We're still friends and talk once or twice every few months. It's funny because I think that my mom thinks he broke my heart and in all reality, I was the one who ended things with him and I was also the one who wasn't the nicest about ending things in the first place. This was such a long time ago though. =)


4. Do you consider a friend's ex off limits?

Usually, yes. I think in certain circumstances, it would be okay. If the friend is more of an acquaintance, sure. If it's a good or close friend, then their ex is off limits.


5. Have you ever had sex with an ex? Why?

Yes. I did with two ex's after we were broken up or after we had been broken up for a while. Why? Not because I wanted them back or because they wanted me back. It wasn't for any emotional reason. It was just sex. Plain and simple. I already knew them and knew I could trust them as opposed to going out and hooking up with a random stranger. It wasn't anything more than just having sex.


6. If you had a choice between spending the rest of your life with your worst ex-boyfriend, or your HS Nemesis, who would you choose?

I have no high school nemesis but for the sake of the question, I'm going to pretend I do. I imagine I would prefer by worst ex honestly. Mainly because I could make his life miserable and probably have fun doing it, if only for a little while. I imagine I would get tired of it after a while and grow bored with him. The nemesis thing would probably be too much of a headache to want to deal with. Plus, I don't actually hate my worst ex. I just don't like him. I don't harbor any real hate or anything for him. I could probably get along with him after I got done having fun being a pest for a while. I doubt if I had this nemesis that it would be so easy.


7. Would you ever create a YouTube video or a website celebrating your exes' flaws?

No. None of them are worth that much of my time or efforts.

Happy Wednesday Y'all! =)

What I Got.

I am skipping TMI Tuesday this week. It's not that they aren't good questions because they are good. They're about romance and being romantic though and I would rather skip playing over posting insanely short, boring answers. I'm not a very romantic girl, at all. Trust me on that, lol.

Last night, I ended up getting off at 12:30 AM instead of 11 am. T-Rex asked me if I'd mind staying so he could send a relatively lazy girl home who was faking being sick to try and go home early. Once she found out she could leave after cleaning and stocking, she perked right up and her illness that had her moaning, groaning and acting like she was about to die disappeared. I don't care. More money for me. =D It was a pretty good night at work. I worked with mostly guys and I tend to be able to relate a little better to males than females. Always have. We had a debate about cars that lasted about an hour. We then got onto talking about football. T-Rex is from Texas. He grew up about fifteen minutes hour from where I lived in Texas. He's been in Ca a little over a year. I had someone on my side while debating sports. ;) We weren't busy. Then we were busy. Then we weren't. Then we were. It came in spurts. Time still went by pretty quickly.

I had something else I wanted to write but now, I don't feel like it. It was something I felt like I might want to get off my mind, sort of to clear my chest in a way. I changed my mind, lol. It's too emotional and I don't want to get all sad and boo-hooey right now. ;)

Don't forget, come play Wednesday Weirdness tomorrow! =D I *think* we're hosting a set of questions contributed by Another Suburban Mom this week so you know they should be good, lol. =D

Happy Tuesday! =)

Working girl.

I've been working my butt off all weekend. Fun eh? I only work 5 pm to 11 pm tonight though. I'm down with a short shift. =) I was off tonight but they called at 1 pm and asked if I wanted to pick up a shift tonight. The annoying girl that I want to throttle called in so I'm working for her tonight. Ok, so there are multiple annoying girls I want to throttle. This one, oh my gosh. I've NEVER met a more lazy, messy, whiny, obnoxious, stupid bitch in my life. She makes messes, doesn't clean them up. Doesn't put enough ingredients in a drink? Finds some way to make it look right without actually fixing it. Did I mention she doesn't clean messes up? She stands around and walks around talking. She also has to know everything being said. I said something to another girl and this bitch comes up and says, "What did you say?" I said, for probably the tenth time, "I wasn't talking to you." She's constantly doing that. You cannot say something in her hearing range without her turning around and wanting to know who said what.

"What did you say?"

"What did he say?"

"What was she talking about?"

"What was so funny?"

"What are you laughing about?"

"What was he saying to you?"

"What were you guys talking about?"

I'm like... OMG, SHUT THE FUCK UP. If you were meant to know, they would be telling you and not talking to the person they are talking to. Or at least they would be including you into the conversation as well. It drives me nuts.

Did I mention messy? I really hate that. That is a hardcore pet peeve of mine at work. If you make a mess, clean that shit up. Spilled a drink? Clean it up! Got a little crazy blending something up and splatter crap all over the counter and blender? CLEAN IT UP!

You also can't say anything that she won't chime in on about how she is worse off. If she hears it being said or if you're willing to repeat for her.

Guy: "Man, I'm so tired. I can't wait for my shift to end tonight so I can go home, shower and pass out."

Her: "Yeah well I only got 1 hour of sleep last night and I'm working longer than you and my feet hurt because I dropped a box on them and my life sucks because my sister makes my life hell so I win so you can just stop complaining."

She does that all the time too. No matter what it is, she has it worse or she's in a lousier position in whatever it is. I think my blog name for her is going to be Mrs. Ren. Yes, Ren and Stimpy. Lol. =) I'm mean.

Hmm what else to say? I have nothing. I worked all weekend. Before work, it was exercise and do laundry. Also run errands. Nothing exciting at all honestly, lol.

Oh! There is a girl from work who thinks El Salvador is in Mexico. She was trying to insult a guy we have who is Salvadorian. She asked him if he was from Mexico why couldn't he speak spanish? He informed her he was born in California and that his mother was born in El Salvador. She piped back with, "It doesn't matter what city she was born in, it's still Mexico!" I was laughing. I laughed even more once he told her it wasn't a city in Mexico and she started to argue back with him, lol. Fun times.

I'm off Tuesday and Wednesday. I'm going jogging and then swimming first thing on Tuesday. I haven't been able to hit the pool in a little over a week. Being sick for quite a few days and then starting work ruined my swimming schedule I had going, lol.

Right now, I'm blogging while I wait for my laundry to finish in the wash so it can go into the dryer. I need clean pants for work tonight, lol. I'm watching The Breakfast Club right now too. I *love* this movie. It's one of my favorites. The first time I watched it with my mom, I was maybe 12 and I protested it as she was putting it in because it just sounded so lame. I watched it anyway and ended up loving it.

That's all for today. Have a great Monday y'all! =)

Happy Birthday darling!

Every day is someone's birthday. Among all the people who have a birthday today, one of my favorite ladies out here, Kiki over at Who's That Kiki , is celebrating her birthday today. She's an awesome, cool, funny, sweet, interesting chick.

Go on over to her blog and tell that awesome woman Happy Birthday would ya? =D

I will be the death of you... =D

I was talking with a friend of mine, we'll call him Fangs, Thursday night and we got on the subject of love. He was telling me that his girlfriend of over six months told him about a week ago that she wants to be with another guy sexually but she wants to maintain her relationship with Fangs. He's bisexual but she doesn't want a threesome. She just wants to do this other guy on the side. Fangs isn't the type to do an open relationship like that. He believes no matter what the gender of the person he's in a relationship with, it needs to be monogamous. She doesn't want a relationship with this other guy, she just wants to fuck him for a while and then be done with it. Fangs isn't okay with that. It doesn't make him a prude in my eyes. His girlfriend however says he's being a prude and unfair to her. She's been pushing it, asking him at least twice a day every day since she talked to him about it why he won't be fine with it. Along with other things she's said. I asked him if she realized it was unfair of her to push this and be rude (read: a bitch) about it when he's clearly told her that he isn't okay with it and doesn't want it happening. He said he told her something similar but that she still reasoned he was the one being unfair. That he was repressing her sexuality and only saying no to be mean. That she would allow him to fuck someone else if he wanted to. He asked me if I thought she would be likely to cheat on him if he didn't cave in. I asked him if he would be bitter and angry about it if he did give in and tell her to go for it. He said he probably would. I told him I didn't know if she would cheat or not. Only she could answer that. He stopped talking with me after about another hour of talking and went to talk with her about some other things.

I'm not against having an open relationship, threesomes or things like that. To each their own you know? I'd be a bit of a hypocrite to bash such things based on my own personal history and what not. ;) Lol. I think if it's not something your partner is okay with, it's not cool to push them on it. That's something you should talk about and figure out if you're going to be compatible over or not. Relationships are complicated and hard enough work as it is.

An hour later, he texted me to ask if I was busy and if I could get online to talk. Basically, she's going to do it anyway. According to her. She doesn't see why it's a big deal. It's just sex. She isn't emotionally cheating on him. She doesn't have feelings for this other guy. Just lust and the want to screw him senseless "five or ten times" and then be done. If she's going to do it anyway and he's going to be hurt by it, I asked if he would stay with her or not. He said he wasn't sure. He cares about her a lot and said he felt like he was really falling for her but if this was going to be something that happened with her, he might as well end it now and save himself from future grief, arguments and heartache.

I agreed with him ending it. If he's not going to be able to handle it, he should end it now before he develops deeper feelings for her. He'll only end up more hurt in the end. If she's going to do it anyway, in my opinion, it's disregarding his feelings which is pretty rude, uncaring and pretty damn selfish of her. It's not something he is ever going to be okay with and that's fine. It's nice to see that some people still believe in being loyal to one person, that some people still believe in having a monogamous relationship.

I don't know many couples who are monogamous anymore. Real life and in the blogger world, I know more couples who have some form of an open relationship or more where one or both parties are cheating on the other as opposed to couples who are committed, loyal and monogamous.


Anyway.... I start the job tonight. I work 5 pm to 2 am all weekend. Unless the schedule changes but hopefully it doesn't. I'm damn broke and need to start making money again. I might even meet some cool people out here to hang out with. Not that anyone will replace any of my awesome friends but, it wouldn't hurt to have a person or two to chill with while I'm living out here.

I started reading "Blood Noir" by Laurell K. Hamilton last night. I've had it over a month, had it since it came out actually but I've been a *little* bit too busy to get to it until now. I'm having a bit of an issue getting in to the beginning of the book. It's not bad, it's good, very good. There is the problem. That's probably a little confusing but I'd prefer to not expound upon that further. ;)

I need to find somewhere to jog. The roads around here are too congested and also lacking in a sidewalk. I'm not jogging in dirt and grass and hurdling fences, sorry, lol. I found a place that's five minutes from my new job though. A fitness center. It's $99 for a three month trial. I'm thinking about checking that place out. I'd have to go during the day, probably before work though and I'm not sure I want to do that. A good work out followed by an 8 to 10 hour shift where I will be on my feet almost constantly? Meh. We'll see. There are two other places I want to look in to. One is a little more expensive but they're open 24 hours a day which would work better given that I'll be working until midnight and later. I'd prefer to get off work and then work out. It's a twenty minute drive to work so I don't want to drive to work out early in the day, go home, drive back for work and then drive home. *Sigh* I'll get something figured out. =D First, I need the money before I can join anywhere, lol. I doubt my charm will be sufficient for payment.

I want to try archery. I have no idea why. It's just something I always thought would be cool to try at least once. I don't see where it would be particularly useful as I don't hunt and would get in trouble for shooting random, obnoxious asshole with the arrows just because they were annoying or pissing me off. So, I don't have much use for learning to do it other than I want to. It might be fun and also might be relaxing. If not, oh well.

By the way, is hockey season back yet?..... No? Fuck. =( Lol.

Have a great weekend y'all!!!