A place where I let some of the things running around my mind out to play.
Sexuality, sports, baking, random nonsense, mental health and whatever else I feel compelled to write about.
Secret #1: I’m in love with my best friends boyfriend.
Secret #2: I post pictures of his cock on the internet even though he's asked me not to. I freak out when he uses my desktop because I fear he'll look through the history and see what I'm doing. It's such a magnificent cock though! It NEEDS to be seen.
Secret #3: I hate all the attention you get just because you're sick. I wish you would get over your depression so people would stop feeling so bad for you and showering you with attention, affection and gifts.
Secret #4: When I see people on Twitter flirting with so many different people, it makes me roll my eyes. I feel bad for them for needing so much attention and validation that they'll flirt and act coy with people on the internet that they're not even attracted to in some cases just for the attention. It's pitiful.
Secret #5: I want you to stop doing drugs. I wish you wanted to stop. It hurts to see you so fucked up all the time. I just want you to be healthy and happy. I know you're not..... :(
Secret #6: Most girls want to be that girl in the Fairy Tale Romance movie. I always thought it would be cooler to be the girl a guy wrote an awesome love song about.
Secret #7: I masturbate to the Disney movies Cinderella and The Little Mermaid. I did once to Beauty and the Beast with Belle but it's not as good as Cinderella or Ariel.
Secret #8: I made out with him but all I could think about was you. I miss you.
Secret #9: I think about you all of the time. It makes me want to cry knowing you never think about me.
Secret #10: Sometimes, when we're having sex, I fantasize about fucking Elton John. I know he's gay but I would hit that all night long.
Secret #11: Two packages of Ex Lax, cupcake mix and chocolate frosting. I hope you didn't share those special cupcakes with anyone, you selfish bastard because you're the only one who deserved some gentle relief. That's for cheating on me. I hope you had her over when it hit you and you had to shit your guts out. I take it back, I hope you shared the special cupcakes with at least her. Fuck you both.
Secret #12: I want to have a threesome with Brandon Boyd and Jared Leto. By the way.... If that happened it would be a MMM threesome.
Secret #13: I'm lesbian and I have a massive crush on my older brothers girlfriend. She told me she is bisexual and that she is allowed to fool around with girls. She wants to fool around with me but I'd feel awkward knowing she would fool around with me and then go fool around with my older brother. Or vice versa.
Secret #14: I sometimes think of all the vicious and mean things I'd like to say to you but I always keep them in my head only. Sometimes I want to say mean things just to hurt you to get back at you for some of the times you've hurt me. I could rip you to shreds with words but I hold my tongue well.
Secret #15:I want to be the meat in a Jared Padalecki and Jensen Ackles sandwich. I need some secrets for my Saturday posts. :D If you want to submit a secret for me to use next weekend (COME ON, DON'T BE SHY! :D) then just e-mail it to me: amorousrocker [at] gmail [dot] com. Or leave it as a comment here anonymously if you want to do it that way and I'll copy it and use it for next weekend's Secrets posts. ;)
I think I look pretty snazzy in huge glasses with a very large nose and a decent looking mustache. Don't you? Probably not but that's cool, lol.
I like to do goofy things. Not for attention but to make people laugh. I don't care about getting the attention. My goal is to always make people around me smile or laugh or at least be mildly amused by my ridiculousness. I like my environment to stay fun, laid back and happy as much as possible. I like to help achieve that by acting... well, like I do. :D
Also, I realized I still had not posted any shots of my new hair style courtesy of (one of) my awesome best friends hooking me up with a cut and color from the comfort of my own home. So, here's a good little preview of what my hair looks like now.
For some "before" shots of what my hair was looking like color and length wise? Here for the length. Here and here for the color. My hair was quite a ways down my back. When Fangs cut it, he took a little more than 5 inches off of the longest layer. It feels so much lighter now. My hair was so long and heavy. In this summer heat and humidity? IT WAS KILLING ME. Lol. I'm also happy with the color. After I find out about my new job's policy about hair coloring, I might look into adding some color to it. :D Or, I might just leave it as is since I do like this color and there are some red tones through out it.
Moving on...... Thanks to everyone for all the comments on yesterday's post. I did appreciate all the advice on how to get some clothes.
When I talk about having mostly only guy friends, I'm seriously not joking. My two best female friends? One lives close to San Jose, CA and the other lives in Las Vegas. Those were both chicks I met when I lived and worked in CA. Here? I don't have any female friends I'm close with or that I even talk to or see on a regular basis. All of my friends that I'm close with and see a lot on a regular basis are guys. I do have a couple female friends but they're not close to the size I wear and I'm not good enough friends with any of them to borrow clothes from them if they were near my size.
Borrowing from family doesn't work either. My parents and siblings live in CA. I have aunts and a few female cousins but one aunt doesn't live at all close to me, the other doesn't live too far away but her clothes wouldn't fit anyway. I have two female cousins and I wouldn't be able to wear their clothes either. I also wouldn't even feel comfortable asking due to the fact that I'm not very close with either of them. I don't even have either of their cell phone numbers to be honest.
I really did appreciate all of the suggestions, though. Thank you! I love that people read my blog and want to offer me up advice when I'm in need of it. Y'all are awesome. And I totally have the information stored away in my mind now if I ever need to know these things again. You never know when things will come in handy. :D
I also didn't have enough money to go buy anything either. I had $11 in my checking account and that's literally all the money I had. I've sold a lot of stuff in the last few months. One to clear out some junk and two because it was money for groceries or other stuff I might have needed. I did have some other stuff I was going to attempt to sale but turns out, I won't need to be doing that. Thankfully. I don't honestly have much stuff as it is, lol. That comes from moving around a lot and wanting to keep everything down to a minimum so I didn't have much to pack and unpack but I digress.
No worries, though. I've got a couple wonderful people that have offered to help me out with some stuff and it'll be enough until I've got some money and can buy some stuff on my own. I'll wait for Monday to post more details on that, though. Mainly because I want to be able to include some pictures of some stuff and give all of the details so I can brag about how awesome some of the people in my life are and this thing has gotten long enough already. I'm totally excited for Monday. I've HATED not working. I started working when I was 13 doing whatever kind of odd stuff I could do to make money and got my first real job at 15 and have worked steadily since then. So not having a job has been killing me. Not having money sucks and makes living hard. Being at home most of the time ( drives me nuts) and not doing much fun and not seeing my friends has sucked. Mainly, though? I just really love to work and love how productive and happy I feel when I'm working. Not having that has been really bad for my mental and emotional well being and I've been far more unhappy, stressed and upset than I've let on. But anyway... like I said, this has gotten long enough already. ;)
Here's a music video. "If You Could Only See" by Tonic. This has been one of my favorite songs for many years.
Check out some other stuff I posted to Twitter via TwitPic. You know, if you want to. ;) There's a couple pictures of an awesome zebra striped hot pink pimp hat plus some other rad stuff.
I NEED SOME SECRETS for my Saturday posts. :D If you want to submit a secret for me to use tomorrow then just e-mail it to me: amorousrocker [at] gmail [dot] com. Or leave it as a comment here anonymously if you want to do it that way and I'll copy it and use it tomorrow. And now, one last picture.... :)
So guess what this chick will be doing on Monday? If you follow me on Twitter or creep on my Twitter, you're not allowed a guess because you probably already saw. :p For anyone who didn't see the tweet, if you guessed I'll be fucking finally starting a new job? YOU GUESSED CORRECTLY!
Finally. *huge sigh of relief* I have less than $20 in my checking account and $0 in my savings account so this couldn't have happened at a more perfect time. Months upon months upon months of interviews and applying for a ridiculous amount of jobs has finally paid off. The only issue I'm going to have is the job requires a wardrobe quite a bit nicer than the one I have. I literally have 2 shirts that I'll be able to wear to this new job and none of my shoes (I have 3 pairs, lol. I'm not a fan of shopping & don't buy a lot in the way of shoes or clothes, obviously, which is kinda biting me in the ass right now but I digress)fit into the dress code I have to go by. So that is going to be a bit of a problem but I'll get it figured out, hopefully. :)
It's a job I think I'm really going to enjoy and moving into a direction I want to go in. Which is nice. I will, for the purposes of safety, won't be saying what I'm doing or where I'll be working. I'm excited, though. :D Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to go call my mom and some close friends and tell them that someone finally hired me, lol. Oh and don't worry, this is auto-posting at 6 AM Thursday morning but I wrote the post super early Wednesday evening. So, it's not like I'm calling them ridiculously early (especially my mom, who lives in California, where it would be 4 AM at the time this is auto-posting, lol) to tell them my happy news.
One of my good friends sent me a text message yesterday to ask me a question he had been puzzling over all day. I am going to type this out exactly as the hundred page text message appears on my phone, lol.
"This is going to be several pages long so sorry but at least we both have unlimited text. Now to my point. I had a one night stand with a girl about a month ago. I didn't know her, we agreed to not exchange any contact info because we agreed it was just for the one night. She left at the end of the night and that was that. Then a little more than one month after that night, I ran into her at a bar and we decided to hook up again for one night but again agreed that it was only for the night and again don't exchange any contact info. How do you phrase that? Does it count as a one night stand again even though you've hooked up before? If up until that point I've had 12 one night stands and then after sleeping with her again, is that now 13 one night stands or is it still 12 and I count it as having sex with her twice? Or, since I've slept with her twice, is it no longer a one night stand either time now and now I've only had 11 one night stands instead? I know this seems silly to puzzle over but if a future girlfriend asks me how many one night stands I have had well you know my honesty on the sexual partner subject and I want to be able to give an accurate count. HELP me figure this out please. LOL."
After I read that novel of a text messages, I replied and told him to get a phone that didn't let him type to his heart's content, heh. Then, we discussed this for a little bit but didn't really get anywhere before he had to go to work. So, we're planning on continuing the conversation later on today in an effort on how to best explain this and work the numbers around so he could give an accurate answer and stop pondering about this nonsense.
Now, my whole point in posting this at all is that I want to know what all of YOU think on this. How would you solve this puzzling little phrasing/numbers predicament? If it were you, what would you count it as? Don't be shy, speak up and let us know what you think! Please? :)
I was somewhere Monday and something happened that really annoyed me.
The entrance and the exit to this place are around 20 feet apart. So, people closer to the exit door tend to enter that way a lot of the time because it's just too hard to walk that extra 20 feet to go through the right door. They're not big double doors, just a regular sized door that one person can get through at a time.
I'm coming out the exit door and this woman plows into me. I'm taking a step out the door and she decides to just walk into me. I could have moved to keep her from hitting me if I had craftily jumped out of the way and smashed myself against the door or stumbled backward. Fuck that.
She walks into me and then has the nerve to glare at me and say, "watch where the hell you're walking," acting all indignant and shit. I would have probably just made some sarcastic, bitchy comment and then kept going (I'm prone to not keeping quiet about things, heh), had she not opened her big mouth and said something to me. That, pissed me off. So....
I replied, "walk the extra steps to the actual entrance and you won't be walking into people who are coming out of the door they're supposed to be coming out of. They're labeled enter and exit for a reason, lady."
She got wide eyed, shook her head around a little bit and then replied, "I'll walk into any damn door I fucking please and I don't have to go in the entrance way door if I don't feel like it, why don't you learn to watch where the hell you're going and watch out for other people?"
I replied, "I was watching where I was going. Why don't you learn to walk through the door you're supposed to walk through? And don't act indignant and give me a fucking attitude when I'm walking out the door I'm supposed to and your lazy self comes crashing in to me."
Before she could say anything, the manager came out the door* and asked what was going on. The lady starts ranting and raving about how I wasn't watching where I was going and how I almost killed her because I ran her over in my rush and not paying attention. Blah blah blah.
He asked her if she had been trying to walk in through the exit door when I ran into her and she said, "well, yeah, maybe but so what?"
To which he replied, "then it seems to me you weren't paying attention to where you were going, ma'am. The doors are labeled entrance and exit and if you try to walk into the door people are supposed to be coming out of, you're very likely going to run in to one of them. Next time, please go in through the proper door so we can avoid this kind of incident from happening again."
She scowled at both of us and then stomped off to go through the entrance door mumbling motherfucker this and motherfucker that.
The point of my post is simple. I HATE when people don't go through the right door somewhere, walk into someone AND THEN get an attitude about it like it's the other person's fault. That shit pisses me off. Know what I mean? ;)
Happy Tuesday!
*the exchange took place outside the exit door a little ways because she crashed into me and didn't make it into the store, and I didn't move around to let her by, then we started fussing at each other.
As you may have noticed, the blog looks a little bit differently. ;) I spent some time Saturday doing my layout over, adding tabs, removing junk from the sidebar, adding a chatbox, changing up the color scheme. Blah blah blah. What do you think of it? Yeah, you! I want to know. :)
I found these questions on a tumblr and decided to nab them to do today. I'd link to the Tumblr but it wasn't one I follow and I didn't think to grab the link. :)
1. What did you do last night? Laundry, some cleaning, hung out with myself, played around online, chatted with one of my friends, had dinner with Fangs, watched a movie, went to bed annoyed.
2. What time did you wake up today? 7:45 AM and then went back to sleep. Then got up for real at 10 AM.
3. How old will you be turning on your next birthday? 26, next June.
4. Are you picky about spelling and grammar? Yes. :) I'm not obnoxious about it, though.
5. Do you get along better with the same sex or the opposite sex? Opposite, definitely.
6. How did you get one of your scars? Drunk driver. You can read about that here, if you want to.
7. Who was the last person you were annoyed with and why? My boyfriend. I'd prefer not to say why.
8. The last three songs you listened to where by who? Bush, The Fray and Amon Amarth.
9. Do you prefer to sleep alone or with someone else? Honestly, while it's nice having someone to sleep with every night, I sleep better when I sleep alone.
10. Do you know how to use any word(s) correctly, but not know the meaning? Not that I can think of.
11. Would you like a totally free bright red Porsche? Sure. I'd take it just so I could sell it to be honest, lol. I dislike Porsche's.
12. Would you like to live in California? Been there, done that, wouldn't care to do it again.
13. Do you know which US states don’t use Daylight Savings Time? Arizona and Hawaii. :)
14. Would you rather swim in the ocean or a lake? Ocean. I have weird phobias about lakes. Don't even get me started...
15. Do you wear a lot of black? Around 85% to 90% of my clothes are black. I'm working, slowly, on blending some color in there. Though, that effort has been kind of stalled since I don't have money to buy clothes currently, lol.
16. Can you dive into a pool, lake or other body of water without plugging your nose? Yes.
17. What color is your razor? Green and blue.
18. How do you feel about carrots? I love them!
19. How many chairs at the dinner table? We don't have a dining room table.
20. Do you know all the words to the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air Theme Song? Yes.
21. Did you just start singing or running the words through your head to the theme song to the Fresh Prince of Bel-Air? Yes, lol.
22. Do you like John Mayer's rendition of "Free Fallin'" originally done by Tom Petty? I haven't heard it but since I dislike John Mayer's music/voice I will assume I would not like his version of one of my favorite fucking songs.
23. Would you shave your legs if you didn't have to? No one has to if they don't want to. I, however, would still do it because I hate having body hair.
24. What celebrity gossip shows, websites, magazines, etc do you enjoy? None. I don't keep up with any of it.
Secret #1: I feel like a complete loser because I'm terminally single, I judge my life totally on if I'm with a woman or not, nothing else matters that much to me to be honest. waking up in the morning with someone there makes life worth living, I need that contact so much without it life is shit.
Secret #2: Every time I hear that song, I punch something because it reminds me of you and I'm still angry with you for what you did. Then I punch something again because I'm angry with me for letting you have that kind of power and control over me still.
Secret #3: I'm happy you're a "grower" and not a "shower" because honey if it didn't get any bigger than that, I'd need a new fuck buddy.
Secret #4: Sometimes, I wear my wife's lacy thong panties instead of my boxer briefs. It makes me feel dirty and sexy. She doesn't know and the idea of her catching me is thrilling and scary. What a sexy little rush I get!
Secret #5: I found all of my old Backstreet Boys CD's from when I was a kid in a box hidden away in the back of my closet while cleaning. I rescued them from their box and am totally jamming them on a regular basis again.
Secret #6: I slept with your wife. The morning of the wedding. In your bed. That's for fucking my college girlfriend behind my back for 6 months. Another FYI? She did it to get back at you for getting rid of her cat. She knows Snuggles didn't run away.
Secret #7: I got really, really high once and was having a few beers and thought putting a pet hamster in the microwave to cook it was a good idea. Luckily after about 10 seconds I realized it was a bad idea. I still kind of wonder what would have happened if I had let it go the full 15 minutes I had it set for.
Secret #8: It's so cliche but I fell in love with my best female friend. I tried to tell her one night and she told me to stop, she didn't feel that way and didn't want to hear me say the words. I was crushed. And yet she keeps dating assholes who just use her for sex for a few weeks and then move on.
Secret #9: Red lipstick is such a turn on for me.
Secret #10: If I ever got the chance, I'd fuck you in a heartbeat. I know I shouldn't because you're married but I would. I'd do it while your wife was downstairs cooking dinner and then sneak out via the balcony from your bedroom.
Secret #11: I killed your goldfish.
Secret #12: I am now in my 30's. I've had one sexual partner and two "girlfriends" in my life (and both cheated on me). The first when I was 16 lasted for 2 weeks, before she brought some other guy she was seeing over and wanted to have a "kissing contest" (effectively ending my affection for her). The second was when I was 18 and she was 15. Probably should have known better, but it was long distance, and a friend of mine introduced me to her. It lasted for 4 months before she told me on her birthday that she was seeing another guy and it wouldn't leave room for us. My one and only voyage into sex happened last year after I turned 30.
People don't know exactly how alone I feel most of the time, especially after seeing most of my friends disappear into relationships and suddenly run out of time for anyone else.
It's hard for me to meet girls and keep myself out of the retarded area known as the "friend zone". I'm a nice guy, ladies. . . Get over it and yourselves. Just because a guy is aloof and rude-ish, doesn't mean he's going to make a good man for you, and just because I'm nice, it doesn't mean that I'm not going to be able to do anything that jerk can do for you.
Tired of men and women elevating the stupid parts of life above the important ones. Sadly, it will probably never change.
Secret #13: I ate the last of your cereal. I don't know how you eat Grape Nuts, that shit is NASTY. I did get satisfaction out of knowing that when you woke up, you'd get no Grape Nuts.
I NEED SOME SECRETS for my Saturday posts. :D If you want to submit a secret for me to use next weekend (COME ON, DON'T BE SHY! :D) then just e-mail it to me: amorousrocker [at] gmail [dot] com. Or leave it as a comment here anonymously if you want to do it that way and I'll copy it and use it for next weekend's Secrets post. ;)
