Almost laughed myself to tears, conjouring her deepest fears...

Wednesday Weirdness #37
Questions courtesy of: ASM


1. Why do you keep a blog?

I blog because it's a hobby. A creative outlet. To vent and bitch when I have no one else I want to vent and bitch to. To connect with like minded people that I would have otherwise never knew existed.


2. Who is one long lost blogger you wish would come back?

Jon Galt. I picked him because he was the first person I thought of, lol. Really, I wouldn't want anyone coming back unless it suited them and they wanted to. I can respect that people quit blogging for various reasons. Moving on, no longer needing it, it hurting their real life, etc etc.


3. If you made a New Year's Resolution, did you break it already? If you did not make one, why?

I never make them. I make changes and try to do better all year round. If I know I need to focus on being more productive, I work on that then. If I know I need to try to control my temper better, I start trying to do it when I realize it's becoming a big issue again. If I want to quit smoking, I know I need to do it sooner rather than later.


4. People who still have their outside Christmas lights up. Festive or Lazy? Discuss.

I couldn't care less about some lights. It's kind of cool to drive around at night and still see some houses with dangling lights. Now the ones who have their front yards still full of snowmen cutouts, Santa's sleigh complete with reindeer, candy canes and all the other festive cutouts and inflatable things? Maybe they're lazy but then if they have their yards all decked out, they weren't too lazy to do it so they'll get to it when they get to it. They may just be busy. Maybe they're waiting for something such as a relative to come back from the military to see the display and to open gifts. I have a friend who's waiting until her hubby gets home on the 21st to take their outside and inside decorations down. Maybe they have a certain date they take it all down for a different reason. Maybe they're just lazy and not looking forward to the work so they're putting it off. Not my business and really I'm probably not going to think anymore about it once I'm on down the road a few minutes later. Actually, this question marks the first time I've ever even thought about it I think, lol. I don't care either way, not my business.


5. What is the last annoying song that got trapped in your head?

I HATE THIS SONG! Here you go. :)




6. Have you ever worn or tried edible underwear? What are your thoughts on it?

Yes and yes. I don't care for it, on me or eating it off someone else. It does nothing for me because it gets sticky in a bad way and doesn't taste that good either. I just don't have any fun with them. I'll pass... unless you're talking Candy Necklace Underwear, then those I like. They're fun but a little bit of a pain when they break, lol.


*Bonus* If you could do one bad thing and get away with it, what would you do and why?

My automatic response would be to rob a bank and take care of myself financially. New place to live, new car, take care of the medical work I need done, pay some schooling and take care of some other things I need to take care of. Give some money to everyone in my family and to my boyfriend and his mom and grandmother. Of course, I'm getting away with it physically but I think in the ways of karma, I'd be fucked 10 ways to Sunday and not in any kind of pleasurable way. Also, I'd never rob anyone. I was in an armed robbery when I was a manager in a fast food restaurant a few years ago. I was the one surrounded by people with the guns pointed at me. No way would I ever put someone through that knowing what it's taken me to get over that having happened to me. So even though hypothetically, it's fun to think about, if I ever had the chance to really pull off one bad thing and not physically get caught, I'd pass. Though in the spirit of the question being hypothetical and fun.... I'm finding a way to get a truckload of money without hurting anyone and doing everything I listed plus traveling around to some places I'd like to see. Woohoo.


I woke up as the annoying music of my cell phone's alarm clock began trilling at me. I picked the most annoying chirpy song because I knew I wouldn't sleep through it. That's the good thing. The bad thing is it is one of the most annoying sounds in the world. I groaned and rolled over, snatching my cell off my pillow to shut it off. I closed my eyes as I rolled onto my back and stretched my arms above my head, feeling the muscles pull. I arched my back and stretched the rest of my body out. I pushed my eyelids up even though I really wanted to keep them shut and curl back up under the comforter and sleep another hour or two. I looked lazily upwards towards the ceiling and then shut my eyes again only for the briefest moment. My eyelids flew open then, seemingly doing a double take. There was a face in the ceiling, staring down at me. I rubbed my eyes roughly, thinking I must be hallucinating or decidedly more tired and sleep deprived than I thought. I shook my head from side to side and focused on the ceiling. The face grinned at me and began giggling like a little child. I cocked my head to the side and watched the face. I noticed the neck was adorned with a silver choker with a ruby in the center. I could only see the shoulders and then it was nothing below that. Dark curly hair draped the shoulders and glittering green eyes peered down at me in amusement. I laid there wondering if I should say something. Does it make me crazy seeing faces in my ceiling? What about those faces laughing at me? Or wanting to talk to them and see if they're really there? It laughed again, a light tinkling sound. I closed my eyes again and counted to ten. I pinched my arm roughly. I must be dreaming, that's the only explanation of course. I pinched my arm roughly again and opened my eyes. The head and shoulders where still there, smiling down at me, looking even more amused than she had previously been. I slapped my cheeks lightly a few times thinking that must be the trick to make myself wake up.

"Silly girl," the face called down to me, "stop hurting yourself. You're not in a dream and nor am I a hallucination or figment in your imagination."

I stared up at the women in my ceiling again, perplexed.

She laughed again, that light sound of glass gently hitting other glass. "Did you not want to ask me what I am? As you laid there, pondering if you were mad or still sleeping? Do you not want to know who I am?"

I slowly sat up in bad and pushed my back against the wall. This was the weirdest thing I've ever had happen and I've had some definite oddities occur in my life up to this day. "I want to know what you are more than I want to know who you are."

She nodded, once, curls falling slightly forward. Her eyes grew a darker shade of green and just a hint of amusement slipped from her pale face. "What I am isn't what is important, child. Who I am is what is important. What I want from you is even more important. Your cooperation, or lack of, will be what is most important of all."

"Okay. So who are you?"

She grinned at me again. Hands came to push the curls from her shoulders and she began clapping and chanting. I couldn't tell you what it was she chanted because I couldn't understand. I covered my ears and she chanted louder. I got up and tried to move away but my feet stuck to the carpet. I glanced up. She was still clapping but had stopped chanting to laugh at me. I glowered at her. Suddenly, I was floating up into the air. I was moving towards the face in the ceiling. I tried to push myself back down but I didn't have the ability to. My head hit the ceiling and I screamed. I pushed at the ceiling. She laughed once more and then my hands slipped through the tough texture of the ceiling and I felt as if I were being pulled through entirely.

I found myself standing on something solid. I looked down and found myself on solid ground. I had expected to look down and see pipe, wood, metal and insulation. I had expected to be in the attack or stuck in the wall. I didn't expect to look down and see bright green grass, crisp and crunchy underneath my bare feet. I looked around, hoping to see the strange floating face. At least then, I would recognize one thing around me. I didn't see her anywhere and didn't recognize a damn thing around me. The sky was a brilliant shade of blue with thin, wispy violet colored clouds moving lazily about. I stood there for the longest time, staring in amazement at the color and the movement of the clouds. It was strange but pretty. I moved off the hill I was standing on and moved down to the road. On one side, I saw small houses made of brightly colored materials. Red houses with orange doors. Purple houses with yellow doors. Blue houses with green doors. All of them with black trim and black shutters around the tiny square windows. Each house had a small driveway and they were all white and sparkling even though I didn't see the sun shining anywhere to reflect light. Yellow, black and hot pink flowers were in the gardens of each house. On the other side, there was a forest. The trees were white, red and purple. Leaves were falling slowly from some of the trees in vibrant orange and the palest pink. The branches swayed slowly though I felt no wind. I noticed small bushes here and there. White in color with purple blooms. I began walking and wondered why I hadn't seen anyone yet. The road I was moving on was the only one here and it led between the houses and the forest. I walked passed several houses, looking at them to see if I could see anyone. I didn't. I walked past ten homes before I stopped. There was a strange looking little creature in the window of one of the houses. It was orange and looked like a cross between a squirrel and a kitten. It saw me and quickly glided down from the window before running away, across the road and into the forest. I shrugged and decided to approach the house. I knocked on the door and realized that I was taller than the door by about a foot. Strange. I heard movement inside vaguely but no one answered. I walked back down the drive and started walking again. The rode widened the the forest gave way into shops. A bookstore was first and I saw people in there. I went to the window and realized they weren't people but wasn't quite sure what they were. The next shop was a blacksmith, then a bakery, then a locksmith, a shoe store, a tailor and a candy making shop. The houses on the other side still continued on. Strange. I looked inside all the shops and saw the strange looking little beings in each of them. None of them noticed me. I wondered if they could see me? I made my way back to the bakery and opened the door. I was only half a foot taller than this door so it took a little effort to get inside. I had to stay hunched down inside, the ceiling wasn't any higher in there. The little beings turned around and stared at me. The plump one with the tangerine hair tied up in a bun let out a scream and then bowed down in front of me. The others followed her lead, laying down on hands and knees and bowing before me.

"Don't do that please," I requested.

The one with the tangerine hair looked up at me, seemingly confused. Her eyes were oval shaped and very blue. "My lady, we have to."

"I don't understand. I don't even know where I am."

A male with a shock of lime green hair peered up at me. "Surely you don't mean that, do you?"

I sighed, getting irritated. "I mean that. I have no clue where I am or what I'm doing here."

They all rose and looked at each other nervously. A female with burgundy colored hair ran to the back and brought a mirror with her. She approached me slowly, as if she were afraid of me. She kneeled in front of me, holding the mirror out to me, her eyes not daring to meet me. I took the mirror and looked at my reflection. I was surprised and confused by what I saw. The face that had been in my ceiling stared back up at me.

"This... this isn't.... I'm not... this isn't me!"

I stared into the mirror again, perplexed by what was staring back at me. Suddenly, the reflection in the mirror began to giggle at me. It startled me and I almost dropped the mirror.

"What the hell is going on?" I demanded of the reflection.

"Silly girl. I already told you!" Giggling and tossing her head back, she disappeared from the mirror and my own face appeared. I handed the mirror back to one of the females. I tried asking questions but they were ignored. The small beings stayed kneeling on the floor, refusing to meet my gaze and ignoring the questions. I gave up and crawled out the door. I sat down outside, pressing my back against the front door of the bakery. I heard them began to move in there again after a few minutes. I got up and started wandering around again. I walked further on, seeing more brightly colored houses and shops on either side of me.

I passed a statue of a unicorn and paused. It was yellow with purple detail. It seemed to be glowing. I moved my hand in front of it, meaning to touch it but I couldn't. I tried harder and couldn't get my hand to the surface. It was like some kind of unseen barrier rested around it, preventing anyone (at least me) from touching it. I walked on. It began to rain a few minutes later. The sky hadn't darkened and the clouds hadn't changed. The raindrops were a very pale purple color and so large you could almost see through them before they splattered to the ground. I walked quicker, my clothing going went and bare feet sliding along the road. I slipped and fell, sliding along the path a few feet before stopping. I pushed myself back up and moved on again, more careful in my movement. A few yards further and I slipped again. Falling slowly and then sliding along the moment my body hit the ground. I tried to stop but couldn't. I tried to grab on to something but everything slipped from my grip as soon as I touched it. I slid for miles and then suddenly, everything around me was dark. It was as if a switch had been thrown causing all the color to drain away from this world I was in. I kept sliding in darkness and felt myself wanting to scream. I couldn't though. I wouldn't let myself. I abruptly came to a stop, slamming into something solid and cold.

I laid there a few moments, catching my breath and trying to calm myself. I heard a faint growling noise. It seemed to be far in the distance but I didn't want to chance it. I quietly got to my feet and felt along the hard surface. It was cold and smooth. I felt my way along, taking timid steps, unsure of the ground beneath my feet. The only sounds I heard was the water falling from me hitting the smooth pavement beneath my feet and that faint growling that had to be far away. I came to a dent in the surface and pushed into it. It budged slightly and I hoped for a door. I pushed harder and almost fell on my ass. I regained my balance and pushed with all my weight. The dent gave way even more, enough that light began to filter in through the slight opening. I pushed putting all I could into it and within minutes, I had it moved enough to slip through.

I found myself standing in the middle of a graveyard in broad daylight. I looked behind me to see what I had come through but the only thing behind me now was a large oak tree. I was happy to see the boring normal color that an oak tree should be. I moved from the graveyard carefully. I made my way towards a gate and noticed someone standing there, leaning against a tree with their back to me. He was dressed in black from head to toe as far as I could see. I moved quietly, trying not to crunch leaves or grass, hoping like hell he (whoever he was) wouldn't notice me. I hid behind a large tree just to the right side of him, wondering how I would make it out without him noticing me.

"Silly girl," he said in a low, gravelly voice with a Southern twang, "if you want to get out of this alive, you need to stop creeping around behind trees and get a move on."

I stepped out and peered cautiously at him. "Who are you?" I asked.

He turned to face me. He had a scar along his left cheek bone and another scar cut in a jagged line across his forehead. White scraggly hair poked out from his large black hat. He looked me up and down and then snapped once at me. I felt the wind get knocked out of me and I fell to the ground. He threw a snake at me as I sat on the ground, pulling wind back into my lungs. I freaked out and tried to scream but the snake crawled inside my mouth to silence me. I felt panicked but couldn't move, couldn't scream, couldn't do anything. He snapped again and the snake was gone. I stood up quickly and felt heavier. I looked at my arms and noticed they were covered in clothing. I had on a black trench coat, black pants, black shirt and black boots. I stood there, amazed and then I looked at the man who was regarding me carefully. "Who are you?" I asked again.

"Not important girl. You need to move it. You'll never make it out alive if you don't run."

"What am I running from? What's going on?"

"GET OUT OF HERE!"

I ran away, jumping the gate and fleeing the cemetery. I was running along a beach now, which was no easy task. I was running towards a castle. I didn't know why but it seemed like that was what I was supposed to be doing. I got there and the sand turned to grass. I crouched down behind a huge rock. I looked around, totally unsure of what I was doing. Just then, something zoomed by my face and I realized I was being shot at. I jumped up and began to run and gun shots rang out. I did front flips as I ran to miss bullets. I ran into a cave and leaned against the wall to breathe a sigh of relief.

It didn't last long. The cave suddenly filled with light and the face from my ceiling and a mermaid came into the light. They were grinning at me, their faces giving away the ill intent they had in coming in to find me. I ran like hell and found myself crawling out a hole in the back of the cave. When I made it through, I was in a baseball dugout in the middle of a Yankees game. I ran out of the dugout and onto the field. I ran towards center field and jumped the wall, up into the seats, bounding up the stairs and reaching the top of the stadium. I jumped off the top of the stadium and found myself using the trench coat to help me sore to the ground. I hit the pavement running and found myself weaving in and out of cars moving along the street. Horns blared, obscenities were shouted and I kept running. I never thought to look over my shoulder once. I just kept pushing myself to move faster and get further and further away.

A truck turned out of a warehouse as I was rushing in front of it and almost ran me down. The driver slammed on the brakes and leaned out the window, shouting at me in Greek. I stopped and turned briefly, Greek apologies flying out of my mouth. I turned to run again and vaguely wondered how the hell I knew how to say anything in Greek.

I turned down another busy street and had to jump every few feet to miss hitting one of the turtles that was laying on the concrete. There were turtles every where and I was having trouble missing them. I stopped and ran into a coffee shop. I slammed the front door behind me and everyone turned to stare. I smiled and apologized. I moved to the counter and ordered a cup of tea and a muffin. The girl opened the register but didn't take any money from me. Instead, she handed me a twenty dollar bill before cheerfully telling me to take a seat and she would bring me my order. I shrugged and moved to a table to wait. She brought me coffee and a cupcake to the table. I shrugged and ate the cupcake anyway before sipping the coffee slowly.

As I was almost finished, something behind me covered my eyes and mouth and pulled me away from the table. I kicked my legs and swung my arms around wildy but never connected with anything. I felt a forked tongue slide along the side of my face and I tried to scream. The thing holding my mouth laughed and I tried again to pull away. Suddenly, there was a gunshot and then I felt a warm liquid ooze down on to me just before my captor fell away. I turned around and saw nothing there but a puddle of lime green with yellow swirls on the ground, smoke rising and letting off a foul odor. I looked around but everyone was acting normal, as if nothing had happened. I shrugged and started running again. I wasn't going to stop this time, keeping the strange man from the cemetary's words in mind. I didn't know where I was running to but I wasn't stopping until I got there.

I turned onto another busy street and ran down the sidewalk, dodging people and stray cats as I went. The harder I pushed myself, the more I felt like I was gliding instead of running. It was strange but relieving at the same time. My legs ached and my sides burned. I wanted to quit. I wanted to stop. To rest for only a few minutes. So I did. I stopped next to a guy playing a baby grand piano along the sidewalk. A jar sitting beside him full of change and dollar bills. He played beautifully. I was so tired. I felt myself nodding off and in moments, I was asleep.

I woke up to the annoying sound of my cell phone's alarm clock trilling at me. The tone I selected is the loudest, most obnoxious one on there. No way could I sleep through that noise and I always tried to get it turned off as quickly as I could. I groaned, rolling over to shut the damn thing off and decided I didn't want to get up just yet. I turned it off and rolled back over, closing my eyes and drifting back off to sleep.



Happy Wednesday!