It's a big one!

I had to bring back the damn word verification on comments. Sorry but it won't be there long. Just a couple weeks to get the spam out of here. I contemplated just disabling anonymous comments but I have a lot of super long time readers who comment that way since they don't have blogs and don't want their google account info out there. It's all good. Word verification is just a minor inconvenience. A temporary one at that.

Also, I'm going to be changing something soon. I'll have a new URL and I'll be writing under a different name. The blog title will be the same. The content will be a bit different. The name I'll be writing under will be my real first name though. I'm a little freaked out by that but meh, not really. I'm doing that because I am writing articles for a couple different websites and I want to be able to tie those in with my blog. The articles are under my real first name though and tying them in with my blog will help for the exposure that I want to get with that. The content change won't be huge. Just the addition of the articles, more posts with substance, much less about sex, more about sports than I already post, more creative writing like I used to do and all around just less crap. I'll still post pictures but I will not be participating in HNT anymore, ever. I just don't care to do it anymore. I don't have any interest in it. It's not that I don't want to do it because I think I have too many people coming here just to perv at my tits or whatever. I don't care about that. I just don't have an interest in doing it anymore. Anyway, I'm working on design for the new blog and eventually just want my own domain. I'll need help with that. After I can afford it which is the issue with not setting up my own domain now, lol. Anyway, moving on to something else.

I'm almost done with the book of stories I'm doing too. It's a collection of all the weird and sometimes crazy dreams I have. I got the idea from several people to put a collection of those stories together and make a book. I've been working on it for months. I think I've got a good amount now, I just have another dream I want to add to it. A recurring one I have. I'm just having trouble writing it but I'm happy it's all coming together.

My Stars play the Columbus Blue Jackets tonight. Which will be interesting because CBJ just fired their head coach, Ken Hitchcock, yesterday. Hitchcock is also a former Dallas Star's head coach. We played a damn good game on Tuesday night against the Minnesota Wild. We won that one in regulation 2-4. Turco, who has had a struggle this season, played the best game he's played all damn season. Which I hope he can keep up since they're talking trades in regard to him. He's one of my favorite players (I'm wearing my Turco Stars jersey tshirt right now as a matter of fact) and I'd be sad as hell to see him go. Though if that does end up happening, I'm not going to be surprised since I expect it to given his performance this season. Hopefully the Stars play tonight the way they did Tuesday. Aside from Turco being solid in net, the whole team played better than they have in a while. Everyone seemed like they were working really well together and it was a damn good game. Much better than Sunday against Phoenix. The Boyfriend and I went to the Phoenix game and bleh, that was a sad game to sit through. Though we always stay until the very end. I did get some cool pictures during the game that I spammed Twitter with, lol.

Speaking of Twitter, I asked for some questions and said I'd answer 5 of them on my blog today. I got some really good questions. Please don't be offended if I didn't pick yours to answer on here. Especially since I already privately answered the ones I didn't use, lol.

@TonyChliek: If you could do it all over again what one thing would you change? Remember your life will take a 180 if you change anything.

Easy. I wouldn't change anything at all. I realize that changing one thing in the passed could end up changing entirely everything about the present if I had the chance to go back and change something. So, I wouldn't change a thing. Everything I've done up until this point, while sometimes reckless and stupid, has gotten me to where I am today and made me the person I am. I don't regret the way I've lived my life even though I've done some dumb things, illegal things, made poor choice, been human, etc. I don't dwell on mistakes either. I learn from them and move on. I see no point in dwelling or second guessing things that can't be changed.


@zhukov43: if you could have had a time specific career in history what would it have been?

That's a tough one. There are a lot of things I'd dig going back and doing. I'd love to go back and join Amelia Earhart in her journey and adventures.

Perhaps a cook or something in the palace of King Loui XVI and Marie Antoinette. Just so I could creep around and see what was really going down.

Maybe go back to the late 1400's/early 1500's and be an explorer. How could would it have been to do that? I love adventure and I love the unknown. I'm always trying new things and wanting to go and see new places. I would have loved exploration back in a time when everything was so much less developed and so unknown.

I could also go back and stalk William Shakespeare. More so, I wouldn't really want to stalk him. I'd just want to find out if there was ever any truth to the controversy over rumors that he didn't write his own plays. Was he he fraud or were people just haters who wouldn't believe you didn't need a formal education to be able to write beautiful brilliance? I'm sneaky, I'd find that shit out.

That's good on that. I could go on for a long time about things in history I would have like to see or be a part of, lol.


Kevin (asked that his Twitter page not linked): I know you love watching hockey and you certainly understand it and love it so would you ever consider playing?

I did play hockey, actually. I played for several years when I was younger. Mostly it was only guys playing but there were two other girls that played in the league as well. One of my brothers played too, not on the same team. I can't recall if we ever had to play each other though. That was such a fun time in life. I loved it. I still play for fun, just not on a team. I really don't have the time to dedicate to that but it would be fun. Maybe one day. ;)


Josh (asked that his Twitter page not linked): Have you ever been kicked out of a bar or club before?

Yes but never because of something I did. It was always because of someone else that was in the group acting foolish. That hasn't happened in 5 years though. I don't hang out with morons who don't know how to act anymore. =)


Tawny (asked that her Twitter page not linked): What is one event that happened to you that was really hard to overcome?

Being in an armed robbery, having a gun to the back of my head, being surrounded by guys all in black. Having one of them yelling at me, screaming obscenities and threatening to kill me as he waved a gun at me. It was without a doubt, the most scary thing I've ever been through and it changed the way I felt about a lot of things. It changed the way I saw a lot of things. It changed me in a lot of ways. Sadly, not all of those were good changes but still, things changed and I learned to cope with the things that weren't for the better. I went through some really weird phases because I refused to talk about it and I refused to get help. I was so angry at myself because I felt so weak for feeling so scared. I was constantly anxious and on the verge of panic attacks. I was a mess and I was angry at myself for being a mess. It was the hardest thing I've gone through in all honesty. It didn't have to be as hard as I made it. I should have gone to a therapist like people wanted me to but I didn't. I should have talked about it more with someone, especially since I refused to see a therapist. I should have wrote about it. I should have talked about my feelings. I should have done that differently but I didn't and that's just the way it is. I didn't know what to do or how to deal. I was confused, hurting, angry, anxious, scared and pretty much a big fucking mess inside. I don't regret not reaching out more or going to get help though. In not doing that, I learned what I had to do to push myself through and to help myself get passed this. I did talk to my boyfriend about it and I did tell him some of what I was going through so it wasn't like I shut it all in. I had a friend I talked to a little bit as well. Though, I'm not on good terms with that dude anymore but still, he listened and tried to reach out when he wasn't too busy dwelling in his own problems. My boyfriend saw me and knew what a mess I was. He saw the crazy things I was doing like obsessively checking locks on doors and windows and obsessively going to check out what 'that noise was' every time I heard anything at all. And meh, all the other stuff I was doing. He helped me in a lot of ways and it made us closer. Had I not relied on him so much while I tried to work my issues and anxieties out, I'm not sure where I would have been. Had it not been for him, I might have killed myself with alcohol poisoning too since I was drinking more than any human being should ever drink. And having him stick by my while I teetered between working through my issues in a crazy manner and self-destructing? That made me realize that he is an absolutely wonderful guy and that what we had is truly special. I knew he was great but having an epic melt down where you're acting like an irrational, crazy, confused girl quite often or being a crazy bitch or just drowning in booze and having someone there who will stand by you in all of it and not walk away? It made me realize that my previous notion that no long term relationship would ever be worth it was so wrong. It also made me realize that I wasn't this horrible, selfish, meaningless person unworthy of love from someone other than family members.

Did you make it this far? Grab yourself a cookie, lol. This is the longest post I've written in a long time and honestly, it's not that lengthy. I definitely have posts in the archives that make this one seem like a few short paragraphs, lol.

Happy Thursday!