Y'all need to know these things...

I had a couple serious posts I wanted to get done. One was on bisexuality. One was on irresponsible people. One was on why people who drink and drive piss me the fuck off so badly. I couldn't focus enough to get anything with a lot of substance written. No, this has nothing to do with the fact that it's 420 because this chick doesn't smoke weed anymore, thanks. I just have a lot going on right now so focusing is difficult. Unless it's me watching some hockey, I focus on that just fine. Sports are easier to focus on, though. Articulating thoughts into words in a coherent way that makes sense and gets my point across takes effort at times. So, I give you something fun and random for today. Hit it! ;)

Hi, my name is: Ashly.

Never in my life have I been: high on heroin, sky diving, stuck in an elevator (thank you! *knocks on wood*), punched in the cheek, had chili thrown in my face, gargled with Tabasco sauce, been kicked in the cunt or been bitten by a rabbit.

The one person who can drive me nuts better than anyone else is: my boyfriend.

When I’m nervous: I bite/chew on the insides of my cheeks.

The last song I listened to was: "I Miss You" by Incubus.

If I were to get married right now my best man/maid of honor: This is going to be difficult for me as all of my best friends are guys, lol. I hope SS could do it if she makes it to my wedding but given she lives 2,200 miles away I'd forgive her for missing it. Fangs offered though, he even said he'd wear a dress. His boyfriend thought that was cute given he'd be the one more likely to dress feminine. I digress...

Last Christmas: was the first Christmas I spent without my family and honestly, it kind of sucked.

I should be..: practicing my ninja moves.

When I look down I see: boobs.

If I were a character on ‘Friends’ I’d be: No clue, don't think I'd want to be anyone on there honestly, lol.

By this time next year: life will be better.

My current gripe is: underwear goes on inside the pants.

I have a hard time understanding: people who walk up to me and start asking me questions in a language I don't know.

There’s this girl I know that: needs to stop being such a self-destructive, self-absorbed, arrogant, whiny, shallow, stuck up tool.

I like you when: my boyfriend gives me a shoulder massage, the Stars win, I get to lay in bed and listen to the sound of a thunderstorm, my shoes stay tied while I'm walking down stairs and when the right song comes on just at the right moment.

If I won an award, the first person I would tell would be: my boyfriend.

Take my advice: do not walk passed a lion wearing a costume made out of raw steak haphazardly strung together. They will think you are a tasty treat, wrapped in raw meat.

The thing I want to buy: is a new laptop since mine isn't doing so well right now.

If you visited the place I was born: I bet I would be in a hospital. Or your mom's vagina. Please let it be the hospital... unless your mom is hot.

I plan to visit: the shower quiet soon.

If you spent the night at my house: I would probably drive you crazy because I'm such a spaz.

I’d stop my wedding if: someone broke out a beer bong during there ceremony and started doing the fox trot with an invisible dancer partner while trying to chug.

The world could do without: closed minds.

I’d rather lick the belly of a cockroach than: eat someone's intestines.

Most recent thing I’ve bought myself: is deodorant to keep my pits from smelling foul.

Most recent thing someone else bought me: is food to go inside my belly and... well hey, you know the rest.

My favorite blond is: my friend SS because she's pretty much amazing.

My favorite brunette is: my boyfriend.

My favorite red head is: ....my dad! He's the only real red head I know. Sorry to my bottled red friends, lol. Ooh or maybe a hockey player. Bound to be one I like that's got natural red hair, lol.

My middle name is: none of your damn business.

In the morning I: jump out of the bed and do the half asleep stumbling partly running partly trying not to run into the walls routine while I try to get to the bathroom as quick as possible.

The animals I would like to see flying besides birds are: tigers, iguanas, zebras. Also, pigs because then a lot of really weird and crazy shit would start going down.

Once, at a bar: I burped so loud, people around me didn't hear the lyrics to the song that was on for a few seconds. It was epic.

Last night I was: passing out early because I felt like shit but had to get up early.

There’s this guy I know who: walks into walls constantly, on purpose.

If I was an animal I’d be: a penguin or a tiger. OR A TIGUIN.

A better name for me would be: Ashly is fine.

Tomorrow I am: going to walk all over the fucking world. Or maybe just my local area. ;)

Tonight I am: going to watch some motherfucking playoff hockey baby! And get some writing, cleaning, laundry and some other stuff done too.

My birthday is: June 15th. Less than 2 months away. Who wants to buy me presents? Bwa ha ha.

The end.

Happy Tuesday!

Comments for me? :)