Since I ended up ranting, I would also like to rant about something else. I'm SO FUCKING TIRED of people telling me I need a job. Really? I didn't fucking notice yet. Thanks so much for cluing me in. I've gone on 9 job interviews in the last 7 days. I have another job interview tomorrow and am supposed to be hearing back from a few some time this week. It's not for my lack of trying that I'm not employed. I had one friend who kept saying it so I screen capped a bunch of stuff to show how many places I've submitted a resume to, how many places I've applied to online and etc so he would shut the fuck up. And he did. And apologized because he said he honestly didn't think I'd be looking so hard. Which I can see coming from someone who has worked for the same company for 8 years and hasn't had the pleasure of trying to find a job lately. The week before last, I applied to 23 different places. I got 3 call backs in all that. I've applied to so many places, it's ridiculous. I've gone on more than the interviews I've just mentioned recently too. I've heard so many different excuses on why I didn't get a job and then not heard back from many more. I've had several assholes try to hit on me during an interview which I just can't deal with. I had one guy that was interviewing me actually SNIFF ME and tell me I smelled good and ask what kind of perfume I was wearing as we were walking in to sit down and begin the interview. He asked me ONE work related question and then spent the next 30 minutes flirting while I filled out an assessment worksheet and pretty much ignored all of his attempts at flirting and trying to find out personal information. He called me sweetie, I informed him my name was Ashly and I would appreciate him using that instead. Obviously, I didn't get that job and probably for a good reason. I could see that was going to be a sexual harassment issue waiting to happen and I probably would have ended up punching him in the face. And yet, I sat there and seriously contemplated for a couple minutes if I should just deal with it for the money because I need a job that badly. I contemplated on it, thinking I'd keep looking and quit when I found another job. It didn't matter anyway because once I told him not to call me sweetie or any other pet name because I found it unprofessional and inappropriate, I think he realized I wouldn't be having any of his shit and that "opportunity" went right back out the window. Which, like I said, was probably for the best because that wouldn't have ended well. I don't tolerate that kind of shit, at all. I got way off track, though. My original point here is that I'm sick of people telling me I need a job. No one knows that better than I do. I'm also sick of people assuming that since I'm still unemployed, I just must not be trying hard enough. FUCK YOU. That's all I do. I apply to jobs, I sit at home. I don't go out. I don't go anywhere unless it's to go on a walk to clear my head, go pick up job applications, take applications back or go on a job interview. That's what my days consist of unless I get lucky and stumble across an odd job to make some cash. Which I'll cover here in a minute. Most of my time spent online is applying for whatever I can find to apply to online. I've even been applying to some of the crap on craigslist that's just for making some money here and there. Which is helpful even though it's not ever big sums of money. I'll take whatever little odd job I can find for some cash as long as it's legal and doesn't compromise my safety in any way.
So having people assume I'm lazy or assume I'm not trying or catching people talking shit about me is really pissing me off lately. And normally, I don't care what people say about me. And at first, I didn't let it bother me when I had people saying that stuff to me. I knew what they were assuming but I also knew that it wasn't true so I didn't care. Now it's just getting annoying because I'm already super stressed, extremely frustrated and it's hard enough to try and stay optimistic about shit when you've been trying for months and haven't had anything work out. It's hard to just keep going out and trying constantly and not get defeated and completely down on yourself. It's exhausting mentally and emotionally. Some days, I've wanted to just lay in bed and sleep all day because I feel so down about shit but I won't let myself do that. So lately, I'm just ignoring the people who say it or going off on them and then ignoring them. I don't need any one's negativity when I'm trying to keep my own from weighing on me too much, lol.
Happy Monday!
Leave a comment please?
36 comments:
Well why is their business? I mean if you aren't hitting them up for money then why the fuck would they say anything?
The job market does suck ass, I know some folks with degrees that have taken jobs way under their education for way less money because there was nothing out there in their field. Should be some decent work coming up in La if you wanna clean up oil.
It will start getting better anytime or it will either get better after the election if people will go vote.
Good luck, I'll be pulling for you!
What is wrong with people? Do they seriously not realize that the economy and job situation sucks right now? I mean, really, WTF?
Also, I am sorry about the harassment in your interviews. No one should have to put up with that, ever.
Good for you for not letting yourself wallow in self-pity. It is rough right now. A lot of people who haven't had to look for work just don't get it truly.
Sorry about the asshole at the interview but good for you for standing up to him. Kudos. That takes balls. I guess as that's a hazard of being a gorgeous woman, you have to deal with crap like that.
Keep at it! Fuck the bitchers. Snoop said it best and I will paraphrase: "Bitchers ain't nothing but hoes and tricks!". . .
I am with Sage. If you aren't hitting them up for money then it's none of their business. If they're doing it because they think you need motivation it's still rude and there are more tactful ways to handle giving someone motivation when you think feel like that is something they need. It's really hard to stand up to friends and let them know they're being dicks especially if they think somehow theyre being helpful so kudos for that. Stand your ground and don't put up with anyone elses bullshit because you don't need that!! Kudos again for not letting yourself get so down on yourself that you curl up in a ball and surrender. That takes character and strength especially with as tough as things really are right now. Keep at it and something will work out. I admire your strength and tenacity. You go girl! And good luck!!!
This CeCe girl reminds me of another blogger, Britni is Shameless. She's always broke and complaining yet she goes out seemingly a lot given her Twitter updates. I remember the other night she tweeted something about a broke gal only being able to afford so many ten dollar drinks and I just rolled my eyes thinking a broke girl who is truly well and broke wouldn't afford ANY ten dollar drinks. Its just ludacris to me and the CeCe girl you mention sounds a bit like her on that same level. "Wha wha wha I only have X amount of dollars to blow on going out tonight, life sucks for me" The CeCe girl however is worse. Seriously MAD because her hubby wouldn't shell out more of his hard earned pocket change for her to go out and have a good time?! such audacity! How dare she really.
As for being hit on in that interview I think you probably just over reacted to that because it doesn't sound so bad. I mean sweetie isn't like calling you hot lips and nuzzle tits or something along those lines. If an elderly lady at the grocery store says, "excuse me sweetie" as she's passing you by you wouldn't think anything of it because she's an old lady but this guy doing it made you mad. Society trains us to think like that and it's a bit silly in some cases. I've been hit on during interviews, taken the job and not had to deal with any sexual harassment as a repercussion of taking said job to be quite honest. I think you probably just read a bit too much into it and over reacted to things a bit. You should feel flattered that you get hit on so often! :)
Fabulous post, keep them coming!
Ginger-
I don't hit anyone up for money. I'll go without things I need before asking people for money. I don't feel right doing that. It's no one's place to take care of me except my own. *shrug* I think they're just trying to be helpful. I let the ones doing it know they're not being helpful.
I agree that CeCe has a lot of nerve to do what she does and demand so much from her very hard working husband. However, my post has absolutely nothing to do with the blogger you decided to drag into this so I don't appreciate you doing that.
And I should be FLATTERED for someone hitting on me during a job interview? That is extremely unprofessional, for one thing. You don't sniff a person and tell them they smell good. You don't sit there asking them what the print on their chest says on the printed top they're wearing because you're burning a hole staring at their tits. Which were covered completely by the top I had on but it wasn't stopping him from staring anyway. He had no business asking me if I had kids or a husband or boyfriend. He also tried to make small chat about hockey since my bag happens to be a Dallas Stars bag and made a comment that you don't usually find such "hot girls" into sports like that. NONE OF THAT should ever happen during a job interview. It's not appropriate. And calling me sweetie wasn't appropriate either. I dislike being called names like that by perfect strangers, male or female. Especially during a job interview. Not professional or appropriate in my opinion. It has nothing to do with what society tells me because frankly I don't give a fuck what society jumps on or gets pissed off over for the most part. It's about what I personally find unacceptable and inappropriate. I would never interview (and I know as I've been in management positions before) someone and say things like that. Also, an old lady in a super marker calling me "sweetie" isn't a 30 year old man who has sniffed me, told me I smelled good, told me I had pretty hair and spent a good few minutes leering at my tits. The intent behind the two are so completely different.
SS:
It's not any of their business. I'm not asking to borrow money, not asking for them to take me anymore and not going out to have fun with them and letting them pay for me. Some think they're being motivating and some think they're being supportive, neither of which are true, lol.
Exactly! I do as well. For some people who haven't had to look for work (and everyone who has been saying that crap are people who have been at their current jobs steadily for years) don't get it.
Thank you! :D
Maggie:
:D
And I agree. It's unprofessional and not at all appropriate.
D:
Thank you. I'm not big on wallowing.
It is something I deal with frequently but I shouldn't have to. It's not appropriate. I don't just let it slide, though. In my mind if I let it go on and don't say something, I'm saying it's okay when it's not.
Tim:
Lol. Thanks for the laugh. And you're right. :)
Im going to have to agree w/ Ginger slightly in that I think there was a slight over reaction on your part. I did read your reply to her comment where the additonal information was given. I assume a lot of men and some women probably leer at your chest a lot given the ample size of your bosoms. It's probably difficult not to start to be quite frank. I think the rest he was probably just trying to make small talk and give off the idea of a laid back and friendly atmosphere and doubt he meant anything serious by it.
YOU DID NOT OVERREACT. After reading your post and these comments, including yours, I just don't see how these people think you overreacted. That is unprofessional, inappropriate, inexcusable and shouldn't have happened.
You can promote a friendly and laid back work environment without crossing boundaries. He crossed a line plain and fucking simple.
Good for you for not putting up with it. You shouldn't HAVE to.
Sorry about people being dicks. Some people don't know how hard things are currently. Good on you for being strong. Good luck today!
I'm really sorry you're having such a hard time find a job. My son is having the same problem. It's frustrating and depressing.
In general people are assholes, never feel badly about telling them to "Fuck Off!"
I'll keep sending you some good thoughts and positive energy, hun. (((HUGS)))
No, you did not overreact, and I wouldn't feel flattered either. It's inappropriate no matter his intent. Pet names, whether said in a sexual reference or not, imply a level of comfort and friendship that do not exist.
Being professional sadly escapes some people. Apparently so does being intelligent and respectful.
people are dicks.
you'll find something soon. sending good juju yr way!
Ashly,
Good but you shouldn't go without things you need. There is no shame in asking for help when you need it.
I mentioned Britni because CeCe reminded me of her. I didn't mean to cause an issue yet I can see why you wouldn't want her to get involved here as her and her online posse of snarky bitchy girls would probably jump at the chance to cause more drama. I do apologize for dragging her into something where she didn't belong. I meant no harm, just meant to make a comparisson and further prove a point of people whining over petty nonsense when they shouldn't be whining. And before you mention I should unfollow and ignore people who I find obnoxious and petty, it has recently been done in regard to her and several other bloggers as well.
I do see your point about it being inappropriate from a professional standpoint. Not to seem rude or snotty but that's just the kind of bullshit you end up dealing with when you work in the food and beverage service industry. Before I graduated college, I worked as a bartender and waitress for years. Those asshole are all over in every field of work but the lower level of work, the worse it is because standards aren't as high. I do admit my elderly lady comparisson wasn't the same because you're correct in the intent not being likely the same between the two but hopefully you still see my point. I was not trying to offend you just merely point out that in my ownn personal opinion you had reacted a bit over the top to his comments and behavior.
Ginger - You obviously have a beef with a certain group of sex bloggers and that's fine and all, but airing that out on someone else's completely non-related blog is just ridiculous and inappropriate. Your "apology" for doing it in the first place was nothing more than an opportunity to take a another dig at those bloggers. It's incredibly immature.
Also, if you REALLY think it's acceptable for a potential boss to be drooling over your tits in the interview, you may want to see a therapist to help you work on your self esteem. No self-respecting woman would put up with that because 1) it's unprofessional and 2) it's creepy. Women shouldn't have to put up with the unwanted advances of male coworkers just to get and keep a job.
Ashly - You're an awesome person and any employer would be lucky to have you. You'll eventually find an employer who isn't too stupid to see that, though I certainly hope that's sooner rather than later! <3
Whether she over-reacted or not - the fact is she didn't get the job when she respectfully asked the interviewer to stop doing something that she found inappropriate. I don't think she did but that is hardly a good precedent - especially since he seemed so keen on her before that point!
Good luck honey - there's a job out there for you somewhere! I've got my fingers crossed!
xoxox
I agree that Ginger should not have brought another group of bloggers into a post where it was petty and irrelevant to do so BUT she had valid points. However there is an appro time and place and in a post where such things were not mentioned and where said people didn't comment, this is neither time nor place.
I also agree that Ashly may have over reacted BUT I think she's entitled to feel however she wants to on the matter. I don't really count flirting as sexual harassment to be honest. The sniffing bit was very inappro but other than that, nothing else was harmful IMO. I do respect her right to be annoyed over whatever she sees fit but I think it's a bit of a reach. Granted, Ashly herself doesn't call it harassment so I think she merely just found it annoying and inappro as well as unprofessional. I don't get the impression she felt harassed, I get the feeling she felt a line was crossed and it angered her. I also have a feeling her standing up for herself is why she didn't get the job which is the true shame because had she kept quiet she would be employed likely.
Good luck in the hunt, Ashly. It is tough. Keep on keeping your chin up.
Dangerous Lilly,
Was that snarky remark about intelligence and respect a dig at me? If so, I would expect you to be less snide and be more direct since you claim directness yet often make snide remarks to no one in particular or everyone in general.
Panda Dementia,
I agree. My apology was another dig at that group of people and you are correct in that this is not the place to be flapping out my opinion on that. I apologize to Ashly for that, it was petty and immature.
I find it rude and laughable that you would assume I have self-esteem issues. I don't have self-esteem issues nor do I have self-respect issues. I have PLENTY of both, thank you. I have dealt with similar problems and I just ignore it. It's never caused a problem later on after receiving the job. As Lacey points out, she didn't feel harassed. She simply got annoyed and angry because he crossed a line and she stood up for herself where the end result was she wasn't given a job where she would have otherwise likely started work for whatever company soon. It's unfortunate but she had no way of knowing that behavior would have been indictive of future behavior.
Wow! Some amazing comments here.
I interview lots of people in my work. I don't know what sort of jobs you are applying for but trust me, in the working world such questions as you were asked to answer, such comments you were expected to endure, and such a total disregard for your abilities to actually do the job being interviewed for is not just inappropriate (it most certainly is), it is also absolutely illegal. I've had training in proper interview methods to avoid any hint of sexual harassment.
Perhaps (and even this I am not sure about) if you are applying to work as an erotic dancer such questions could be construed as being within the bounds of what might be expected in your actual work. A sort of test of how you deal with assholes trying to get more than they are allowed. But probably not.
Maybe you should interview wired so you can make a fortune by suing after such interviews.
She might not have said she felt harassed but what he did was STILL OVER THE LINE. There are boundaries and they were there for reasons and shouldn't be crossed. An employer does NOT need to conduct himself in that manner. It's unprofessional, it's creepy, it's wrong and there is no need for that. As someone else said, I'm sure she gets her breasts ogled plenty but is it her fault that people don't control themselves better? NO. I'm sure it's hard not to notice them as someone else pointed out BUT there is a thing called being professional and being RESPECTFUL and leering at someone's chest is neither of those things.
And Ginger, are you implying that she should have put up with his behavior during the interview just to get a job? I also disagree, the best look for future behavior is to look at current behavior. I bet you anything he would have continued the inappropriate behavior had she shut up and taken the job.
As Janie pointed out, he seemed quite keen on offering her a job until she told him not to call her sweetie and to call her by her name instead. Very easy request and one that should have been followed.
I am TRULY appalled that ANY OF YOU think that is an acceptable way to conduct one self during an interview! As a manager, you are supposed to represent your company. You are a face to the business just as much as your own employees are. That is NOT an acceptable way to act. Sit here and type away about how Ashly over-reacted to his comments and behavior but in her shoes, would you have just sat there and giggled or done the same as she did? I know personally I would have been uncomfortable and would have said as much. I would have likely talked to his superior about his unprofessional behavior as well. I would well and truly not want to work for someone who conducts business the way he does. And that any of you will sit here and defend that kind of behavior is APPALLING to me.
Ashly, good luck! I hope you find something to work out for you. Sooner rather than later! It's rough out there and being currently unemployed myself, I can understand how exasperating going on interview after interview to no avail can get you down. Keep your head up and you keep doing what you need to do until you get something that works for you.
As for those people reminding you that you need to go to work, you're handling that properly as well. Good for you!
Ok. . . To everyone. . . I am a dude (if my name doesn't make that obvious enough). I don't care if you're "keen on someone" or not, there are ways that you conduct yourself in a professional environment and ways that you don't. . . The fact that the guy works in the "food and beverage" industry makes no LICK of difference. Unprofessional and sexual harassment in the work environment is the same no matter what type of industry you work in (save for strippers and prostitution).
I do not think that stating "My name is Ashly and I would appreciate you calling me by it" was an overreaction at all. . . An overreaction would have been punching him, kicking him in the balls, screaming and yelling at the dude, slapping a sexual harassment lawsuit, or something to that effect.
I really find it funny that you people can't agree that, since Ashly was in the interview, and Ashly was the one that felt awkward and that the behavior was inappropriate, and add to that the fact that she handled herself in a completely straightforward and professional manner, she was in no way overreacting.
Just because you might have played the woman manipulation card to get a job doesn't mean that your reaction isn't just as sleazy as the creepy guy. . . It's leading a guy to believe something false and setting you up for further infringement on your personal space later. It's a manipulation, and I'd say that using your breasts and a guy flirting with you to get a job would have been an even more despicable reaction to the interview.
An overreaction is by nature something that goes way beyond the range of normal appropriate response.
As far as the issue of someone calling out other bloggers. . . Just let it lie. . . It's already been said and that person can deal with whatever issues she may or may not cause with the people she is talking about.
WOW! The comments are definitely interesting far more so than when I checked in earlier today! Gracious.
I just want to comment in support of you. Keep applying, keep interviewing and something will come up.
Sixty does make a good point. Are you interviewing as an erotic dancer or other type of sex worker or in a similar environment? That could explain the behavior, he may have just been seeing how you handle yourself in such an environment with such things being tossed at you.
GOOD LUCK!!
How fucking rude of people implying that you aren't doing enough? Clearly if they are implying it, they aren't following along with your blog posts and/or Twitter feeds. Maybe they should pay closer attention. Or pick up a newspaper occasionally as I think they are doing more than an adequate job covering the fucking recession this country appears to be in! :)
As for the harassment during the interviews, I like the way you are standing up to them. That's a lawsuit waiting to happen.
Hope you get some good news soon!!
your friends are probably just trying to help you out and keep you motivated is all. jumpin on them is a good way to alienate yourself and sounds like your already pretty alienated since you dont have cash to go do anything.
should have just shut up, smiled, made it through the interview and then you would be employed right now and wouldnt have to be goin through all this process trouble of applying and interviewing and being broke and not having money for going out or even for groceries. is going without stuff you need just so you can hold on to your principles really worth it? i think id deal with a little annoying banter and flirtation from a boss if it meant i wouldnt have to be unemployed and poor anymore! couldve kept looking for a job and doing interviews while you worked this one and then it wouldve been money until you found a better job instead of doing odd jobs when you ca find them.
~jessika~
I agree there is no reason someone should bring another blogger or group of bloggers into a post where no mention was even made of them! Kudos to Ashly for sticking up on that point. That was immature, super petty and catty. Got beef with someone go hit their blog up or email them. Take your drama away from where it doesn't belong!!!
On people telling you that you're not trying hard enough you are SO SO SO fucking right: FUCK YOU. I've been unemployed 2 months now so I know how it feels to apply to 30 places and get a handful of interviews and NO effing job out of it all. It's so time consuming. Finding a job is like a job in itself except you don't get paid!! Keep rocking girlie you will land something soon!!
Some of these comments? Astounding! If some of these girls/guys(?) put themselves in your shoes I doubt they would be preaching the same song. Tim said it great! Just because they may play off the sex manipulation doesn't mean everyone else should suck it up and do the damn same! That is just as sleazy and you ARE setting yourself up for more bullshit to come by going along with it! Good on you for standing up for yourself. You didn't over react either! Like Tim said, you handled yourself in a very straight forward and professional manner which is much more than I can say for the asshat that was interviewing you!! Good for you and I like that you stood up for yourself. You handled it well and I don't think your reaction was too much at all.
And Jessika? NO to everything you just said about the job interview. NO ONE should have to compromise like that just to get a job!
I said it on Twitter earlier and I will say it here again: OVER-REACTION!
I read all of these comments and for the most part all I did was ROLL MY EYES at how ridiculous you are all being.
Tim being a guy doesn't make your opinion on the man's behavior any more valid than the opinion of anyone else.
I HIGHLY doubt there would have been any of issues had you just ignore his behavior during the interview, taken the job and then set him straight after you worked a few days.
Geez, I was just going to tell you to keep your chin up and keep plugging away. But damn, you woke up the masses here!
I still stand my first thoughts...good luck to ya!
You did not overreact. And anyone that says that you did is wrong.
Also, I'm also sick of being told I need a job, did you try this? YES, I FUCKING TRIED THAT. I'M TRYING EVERYTHING AND APPLYING EVERYWHERE AND I'M JUST NOT GETTING HIRED, OKAY?
There. That was my rant. <3
I would report smell good guy to the HR dept at the company. They might not believe you, but they may believe the next woman who complains.
If you do, please be very specific.
I do hope you will find something. If you would like me to pretend to be your favorite nun and give you an awesome reference, just let me know.
And I know that you are killing yourself out there. I hope it soon comes to fruition.
You did not over react. Anyone who says you did is either being too kind or is a complete idiot.
My husband (who is a manager at a huge, popular store) is directly involved in the hiring/firing/write-up processes. The shit that guy did was completely out of line for a job interview. No matter what sort of job you were applying for, he should have been asking questions about your JOB HISTORY and qualifications, not your kids, boyfriend, husband etc (unless you mentioned them and how they would affect your job availability).
Staring directly at your breasts and asking what your shirt says? Yeah. Gross. My husband FIRED SOMEONE who was looking at his co-workers underwear that was peeking out of the top of her pants when she squated. The guy that got fired? He asked when she was going to let him get some of whatever animal was printed on her panties. It's sexual harassment and anyone who actually has a job? They would be aware of this because they make you watch videos and sign papers stating that you're fully aware of what sexual harassment is so that you can protect yourself from it by either letting your employers know OR knowing what not to do to keep your ass out of trouble.
I was working my way thru the comments, dumbfounded at the idiocy of some people defending this interview guy, then I got to my wife's comment about imitating a nun. Yeah, like we'd ever believe that! lol
Good luck in the job hunt, we're pulling for you as always!
Sorry people are giving you such a rough time. It's none of their business really. They shouldn't say anything unles it's supportive to you. I've seen all your tweets about job interviews. It's obvious you are serious & working hard to get a job & aren't just wallowing in self pity. It's a sign of your strength you're sticking w/ it & not putting up w/ stuff like that sexual harassment guy. He should be glad you didn't play along, get hired just to turn around & sue him.
Like Maggie said, everyone should know how scarce jobs are.
I'm rooting for you & admire your dedication & tenacity. Oh & congrats on your anniversary. Sorry you didn't get to really celebrate.
Good luck.
WOW LOL.
ASTOUNDING!
You did not over react and anyone who thinks you did doesn't know what over react means! You made a statement. An over reaction would have been throwing a chair or having a screaming fit.
Good on you girl! Good luck and I hope for the best to work out SOON for ya!
-LISA
You already know what I think of all of this since you called me and talked to me after that interview went down. I will still go kick his ass if you want too!! :D
Anyone who thinks she overreacted is silly, to be honest. It's not professional for a manager to act that way with a potential employee. It's not appropriate and if her standing up for herself is overreacting well then I feel sorry for you.
For anyone who thinks she's not looking or trying hard enough to land a job, I can assure you that you're dead wrong. I think out of all my currently unemployed friends she tries harder than all of them combined.
I have told you and will continue to tell you... when the right thing comes along IT WILL WORK OUT. <3
This fellow job hunter is is cheering for you and hoping you find an awesome job that pays way more than you had hoped for and and makes you happier than ever.
Just wanted to say, chin up girl! It's always only temporary. I've struggled financially my entire life and it sucks when you know you're busting ass and watch many around you get a "free ride". This too shall pass and when it does, you'll appreciate it much more. Hopefully coming up with ideas to spend time together without money is opening up your creativity and bringing you and your man closer. I hope you get a great job soon and commend you for not selling yourself short with pervy interviewer!
Post a Comment