Dear Drivers...

Dear drivers,

1.) Please learn how to merge properly. This is not a difficult task, for the merging or the drivers dealing with cars needing to merge on or off. 

2.) Turn signals come standard on your car and don't cost anything to operate so please use them.

3.) Do not tailgate people. You never know when they'll have to slow down suddenly and you may then find yourself eating the back of their car with the front of yours or swerving to avoid an accident. Which may work or may cause another incident. 

4.) The left lane is for passing. Please do not chill over there cruising along right at or worse yet, under the speed limit.

5.) Going under the speed limit when there's no reason to (construction, weather, other hazards or traffic) is annoying. It's also unsafe. And again very, very annoying.

6.) Stop speeding through parking lots. There are people walking everywhere, cars backing out of spaces and plenty of reasons aside from not being a douche to not speed through a parking lot.

7.) Stop merging onto the highway going 20+ mph under the speed limit, especially if the entry ramp gives you enough room to get up to speed. 

8.) Throwing your hazard lights on and parking any place you feel like is obnoxious. Just because you can stop there, doesn't mean you can park directly in front of the grocery store so you can go rent a RedBox movie to avoid parking and walking up there like a normal, decent human being. 

9.) Stop freaking out because there is some form of precipitation on the roads. If there's ice, snow or rain, you don't have to drive 5 mph, but speeding is dumb also. Use your brain.

10.) Turn your headlights on at night. Those are pretty important. Driving with your high beams on when there are other cars around is rude. Stop that. Headlights, yes. High beams, not unless it's necessary and you don't have cars in front of you.

11.) Please make sure you check your blind spot before merging into a new lane. And don't get enraged because someone honked at you for nearly taking off the front end of their car. You're the douche here unless they sped up intentionally to keep you from being able to change lanes.

12.) Speeding up to pass me then getting in front of me and slowing down because you don't want to get caught and get a ticket. What are you even doing?

13.) Please clean heavy snow or ice off of your car. It's going to fall off eventually, yes. Likely while you're driving. I do not appreciate that chunk of ice flying off your car and into my windshield and neither does anyone else. 

14.) Taking up two spaces in a parking lot is obnoxious. You don't want to run the risk of door dings, scratches or another person breathing around your car? Park it out in BFE away from all the cars. 

15.) Make sure your cargo is tied down properly and securely. No one wants that ladder/bag of clothes/box of junk/couch coming loose, flying off your car or truck bed and fucking up their car or causing an accident. You don't want that either so secure your items down properly.

16.) PUT YOUR FUCKING PHONE DOWN WHILE YOU'RE DRIVING. I don't care if it's a text you're reading/replying to, mundane crap on Facebook, a tweet you think you just have to send or a news alert that you think you can't go a few minutes without seeing; STOP IT. I avoid so many accidents because I'm paying attention to all of the people who aren't paying a damn bit of attention because they have their attention buried in their phones while they're driving. You shouldn't be operating a vehicle that can cause serious damage, injury or kill people if you're not going to focus on operating it. I don't care how good you think you are at multitasking between driving and keeping your nose in your phone, you're not. 

17.) Don't get drunk and drive. Have a designated driver. Call a cab. Call Uber. There are a ton of options that will prevent you from driving home smashed and not only endangering yourself but endangering the lives of innocent people around you.

I'm sure I forgot some things but these are the things that drive me most crazy. Being a safe and courteous driver isn't that difficult. Although being a self-absorbed asshole is pretty easy and way too common anymore. If I forgot something on the list and you want me to add it, feel free to say so. 

Happy Thursday!