Love sings, when it transcends the bad things....

I have been called a slut more than my fair share of times. Whore, skank, hoe, tramp, cock whore, cum dumpster and tons of other lamely crafted nicknames that all mean the same basic thing. Sometimes it's said jokingly, mildly with affection but mostly in jest. More often than not though, it's being said with the negativity that most people associate with those terms.

It's never really bothered me though because I don't think I'm a slut. Sometimes, it does piss me off if it's coming from some moron who can't argue properly and resorts to name calling. Or if the girl calling me a whore is someone who spends twice as much time on her back as I do with three times as many different people. Then shh, bitch please. Mostly though, it's just a stupid term, a silly little word, that means very little to me.

Tell me, who cares who I fuck or how many I fuck as long as I'm doing it safely? Why does it concern anyone else? The only people it should concern are the ones doing anything physical with me.

I have never cheated on anyone. I wouldn't ever cheat on someone. I don't cross boundaries. I don't deceive. I always made sure anyone I got physically involved understood what was going on and what I wanted. If what I wanted was something casual, I made it known. If I was hoping for me, I made it known. If I didn't want to go passed a certain activity point, it was known.

Does it make me a bad person because I like sex?

Does it make me a bad person because I've had sex with more than one person?

Does it make me a bad person because I like sex with both males and females?

No, I don't think it does.

Do I have low self esteem?

Do I have low self worth?

Do I lack self respect?

No, no and no again.

I don't have sex to make myself feel good about who I am. I don't use sex to get what I want. I don't use sex to make anyone do things I want them to do. I don't use it for power, control, advancement or manipulation. I don't use it to feel wanted, loved or needed. I don't do it to feel worthy of anything. I do it simply because I enjoy it.

Some people do it for those reasons. I don't think those are good reasons to have sex honestly but it's not my business if I'm not involved. I think it's shitty to use it as a form of control. I think it's shitty to use it to manipulate. I wish those who use it as a means of esteem or to feel loved could get what they're looking for another way because people are worth more than just that. Whatever works for them though.

Some people think you shouldn't fuck until you're married. Some people think if you fuck more than 3 people, you're a whore. Some think this. Some think that. It's about your own morals, beliefs and perspective on the subject.

I remember a couple weeks ago, they were talking sluts at work again. I asked, again, what made one a slut. Different people in this convo as opposed to the last time. The girl said anyone who had slept with more than 5 people was a slut. The guy said anything in double digits made one a slut. The guy asked how many people I had slept with. I responded, "Enought to make me a really big slut by y'alls standards." Which is true, by their standards and how they think of things. Which is fine for them. I don't happen to agree but I can respect what they want to think and believe in. We talked a few more minutes and then it was done bun can't be undone and over with.

I don't care if someone wants to fuck 50 people. I won't assume they're doing it for any one reason or another. That's their business and not mine honestly.

What I care about is people who don't do it safely. I care about that. I care about the fact that people spread sexual diseases and infections around like it's nothing just because they don't like how a condom feels and want to fuck around a lot. I care about chicks getting knocked up by guys they won't be with in 6 months. I care about kids bringing kids into this world when they can't take care of themselves. I care about grown people bringing 10 kids into this world when they can't take care of 2. I care about people not practicing sex safely. Nothing is 100% effective but to not use condoms because you don't like the feel? Give me a fucking break. To not use birth control because you're too lazy or too embarrassed to go get yourself on it? The money excuse doesn't work. There are plenty of places you can get it for free. Even if you're underage. You can get free condoms and tons of other helpful things too. There is no excuse for having unprotected sex. If you're going to do it, you better be able to handle the consequences that very well may come along with it. Be it disease, infection, unplanned pregnancy or anything else.

I don't care if you want to fuck 30 different people in 30 different days. I don't care if it's your mission to fuck one person from every state. I don't care if your goal is to fuck yourself into an orgasm coma. Whatever floats your fucking boat. Just do it safely. There's no excuse not to. If you're too embarrassed to buy condoms or too embarrassed to get on some form of birth control, you don't need to be having sex. That's just my opinion though. If you can't deal with it responsibly, you don't need to be doing it at all.


Did you see this post complete with pictures?! It's my post from yesterday. I want to brag pimp it some more. ;) I sent Boyfriend his box of stuff off today. Can't tell y'all what I sent him though. Just in case he stops by to read before the box gets there. Maybe he'll blog about it when he gets it, lol. Doubt it though. ;)

Is anyone tired of the gothy pictures yet? Too bad if you are, lol. I totally have far too many of these things. Which is why I'm posting 4 each week. ;)

Happy Thursday!

Weak and want you need, nowhere as you bleed....

I did that sex meme yesterday that has been going around. I was kind of amused by some of the emails I got in regards to some of my answers. I even put a little disclaimer up. You would think "sex" meme alone would tip some folks off. The disclaimer spelled it right out for them too. Simple people. Don't email me and bitch about what I write, I'm going to ignore you. Seriously. Delete your email without replying and just laugh about it. Then write about it and gently poke more fun at you because you're whiny little butt (or big butt, whatever the case may be) has to complain about something instead of just moving on. You don't like it, don't read it. Go find a blog about cupcakes, movies, kittens, flying kites, making Play-Doh castles, cooking, seagulls, hot air balloons, pictures of leaves falling off trees or whatever suits your fancy. Mmmkay thanks bye! =)

A couple blogger friends of mine were giving me a hard time the other day. We were having a little group chat thing and they were teasing me for the fact that most of my clothing is black. They asked if I owned a single shirt that wasn't black. Of course, I do. I own some red ones, a dark green one, some grey ones, a few white ones, a couple blue ones and even an orange one. Also, this purple one I've got on right here. So, there. *sticking tongue out* There's nothing wrong with wearing black by the way. Don't ask why I own that purple t-shirt. The design on it was badass and I do like the color purple. Plus, it was on sale. Yuh.

Yesterday, I went and saw Underworld 3 again. Youngest Brother wanted to see it again and so did I. Little Sister hasn't seen it yet so she went with this time. I still love it. Mmmm. I love love love the Underworld movies. I think they're some of my favorites. As a matter of fact, we're about to watch the first one again. It's been far too long since I've seen it. =)

My boyfriend rocks. Of course, for a multitude of reasons which I brag talk about now and again. The praise of his rocking-ness today comes from a happy little surprise. I got a Valentines Day gift early yesterday. I got this....




It's a NintendoDS Lite. In onyx. Isn't it cuuute? Okay, so not as cute as some people find fluffy teddy bears and little puppies holding "I Love You" hearts but it got me feeling a certain level of "awwww" warm and fuzzy. I'm not a cards, candy, jewelry girl for the most part. I've wanted a DS for the longest time now. I was so beyond excited to get my hands on this little amazing monster.

I felt a little bad that he spent that much on me though. So I paid for the Guitar Hero bundle and Super Mario 64 DS plus the one year warranty for the DS.

I've already been playing Guitar Hero. Surprise! I've cleared several levels already but had to give my hand a break. Not like that pervos. Calm down. ;) Here's a few Guitar Hero shots. So fun.

I'm not a fan of Valentines Day honestly. I don't like it. My boyfriend gets in to it though. He likes to celebrate it and has fun with it. It makes him all kinds of happy. I'd feel like such a bitch with him getting me things and doing special things for me if I did absolutely nothing in return for him. Especially given that he does so awesome for me and plus, he's not so happy about the fact that we aren't going to be together this time around. So while I have never liked the holiday and find it ridiculous, I don't skip doing something for him in return just because it's my least favorite "holiday" all year. That would make me suck, in a bad way, for sure. I'd feel like a bitch, shithead, asshole etc, know what I mean? So, I got him a bunch of little things, a special little something and one awesome thing so I can send them off to him. Awww.

I'm skipping the Weirdness today. The questions are good this week but I'm not in the meme mood today. I'll probably answer them next week and have double the questions instead, lol.

"Today We Are All Demons" by Combichrist

Happy Wednesday!

"STAY...

...You don't always know where you stand,
'Til you know that you won't run away..."
-"Sulfur" by Slipknot

I've been thinking about those lyrics the last couple days. I like the song thought I doubt the meaning and intent in them given the rest of the song is the same as what I've read into them. That's okay though. I can understand the intent and still get my own different little perspective out of it too. I love music.

I so want this. Anyone want to buy it for me? My birthday's coming up... this summer. Lol. I'm mostly just kidding. Heh. I can/will buy it for myself. Eventually. =) Speaking of, my Stars won last night against Nashville. I got to see the 1st and the 2nd periods but had to go to work and missed the 3rd. We won 4-1 though. Yeah baby.

I have better hours at work this week. I only close 2 nights out of 5 so yay. Though the other 3 nights, I only get out an hour before close but still.... I don't have to close. Which makes me happy. I still also get a little over time too. Not much but I'll take every little bit I can get. Kind of hoping I can pick up an extra hour tonight too but I dunno how well that will work out. Monday night is the fucking slowest all week usually and they probably won't need me to stay.

I watched Lakeview Terrace with Samuel L. Jackson last night after work. I watch movies a lot, lol. I pretty much thought there was no point to the movie. Then I realized the point was that the LAPD cop (Jackson) was trying everything his twisted mind could think of to get the interracial couple who moved in next to him to move out. He played a hardass who was a little cuckoo and a total asshole. They don't let you in on his problem with the interracial couple he's never met until they moved in and he never directly says. He just tells a story that makes it clear what his problem is and why he has an issue with them. Basically he spends the whole movie being a cuckoo asshole doing what he can to make them miserable. It was kind of weird actually but not so bad.

I have some tags to get to but I'll probably do those tomorrow ladies. =) For today, I have something else.

A blog friend, Sand Lady, set up some questions for me that she wanted me to answer and I was just going to reply to her in her email and answer them there. Then I figured I should just do them on mu blog since they are interesting questions. So I'm posting them here today.

1. Do tell what it is you like about Texas and what you would recommend someone new to see there?

I've grown up there. We moved around a lot but mostly, it was always in Texas and we always made our way back to the same area. It's home. That saying home is where the heart is, it's the truth. My grandparents, my boyfriend and some other awesome people are there and that's where I feel most content. I like the weather there, minus the scorching ass humid summer but I deal with it. I don't go outside much anyway. =D

For someone new there or just visiting, it depends. It's subjective to the kind of things that the person is in to. I wouldn't tell a non-sports fan to GO to a Dallas Stars game. With $15 tickets, it would be a kick ass experience but like I said, if the person isn't in to sports, definitely wouldn't send them that way. So, definitely subjective to the person and their own interests. Some of my favorite places in the Dallas area are: The Dallas World Aquarium, The Arboretum, The Dallas Zoo, Ice skating at the huge ass Galleria Mall, Six Flags (yay rollercoasters!) and Dallas Museum of Art.

More broadly than the Dallas area, some cool stuff would be going to Schlitterbahn Waterpark in New Braunfels, Sea World and the River Walk in San Antonio, Schlitterbahn Beach on South Padre Island (water park right on the beach) and the NASA Space Center in Houston. There's tons of cool stuff all over, just depends on what you're interested in.


2. If you were to get pregnant what would be the first three things that would come to mind?

If I got pregnant right now, I'd wonder how in the fuck that happened. I haven't had sex since I went to visit Boyfriend over Thanksgiving. (OMG) So I'd have to be having sex to get knocked up. ;) For the sake of the question though....

Fuck, I have no clue. I don't know at all what I would think. I'd freak out. I wouldn't be happy. I don't want kids. I do everything I can to prevent against a pregnancy. Though abstinence would be the best route for that but yeah, not happening. Sooo since there's always that slight risk of it happening... assuming I found out because I just pissed on half a dozen pregnancy test sticks, I think the first thing I would think would be, "Holy shit, they can't all be wrong." After that, I really have no clue. I can't wrap my head around how I might react to that honestly.


3. If you had just won a million bucks what would be the first three places the money would go toward?

Dental/medical bills. Hello good bye!

Moving expenses. =D

College.

After that, it would be things like getting an apartment again and a new, efficient little car and then saving the rest and perhaps helping some people who need it more than I do.


4. What compelled you to go to California?

Personal reasons. Half the reason I came fell through and didn't work out as I thought it would. Which initially is so disappointing because it was a big deciding factor for me but thus far, I still haven't found a way to achieve what I really wanted to have done. There are more plus sides than negatives though so I can't complain really. I should have expected that things wouldn't have worked out the way I had foreseen them in my head. I'll be back in Texas by Spring though so I'm content.


5. What initially attracted you to your boyfriend?

Not gonna lie, his car. =) I love love *love* cars and he has a sexy red 1986 IROC-Z so yeah, totally caught my attention.

Physically, he's 6'8" so it was like "fuck, that's a tall boy" and I love tall guys. Plus, he looked like Bam Margera a little bit and omg is Bam fucking hot or what.

Then I spent 9 hours straight talking to him and his wit, sense of humor and intelligence sucked me in. Not to mention the hundred and two things we found out we had in common. Not to mention I actually spent 9 fucking hours straight sitting there talking to him.


Musical Monday. "Only One In Color" by Trapt.

Totally a sissy song. I love it too. I'm thinking about Boyfriend a lot this morning. I hear this song and it makes me think of him. It's made me think of him ever since I first heard this song when I got their CD. If I have posted this song already, well, too bad. =)



Happy Monday!

Saturday Survey

Saturday Survey #4667889B
Brought to you by: Amorous Rocker

If you were a waiter/waitress, do you think you would you make good tips?
I know I do would. ;)


What is the best junk food item to get at a carnival?
Funnel cake!


What if there were two of you? Would the world be in trouble?
We would rule the whole fucking world, twice as fast because it's going to take me a while on my own. ;)


Forget about toppings. What type of CRUST do you like on pizzas?
Hand tossed or deep dish. If it's plain cheese pizza, I like it thin and crispy.


Would you care to have tea with the Mad Hatter & March Hare?
Oh sure! That could be fun times.


Do you still say "your mom" as a response in conversation?
Haha, rarely. Only when I'm being silly.


Would you prefer an ice cream sundae or an ice cream cone?
Both. I love ice cream like a hooker loves.... well, never mind. I love ice cream a lot.


Captain Crunch vs. Count Chocula: Which is the better cereal?
I have never had Count Chocula, I don't care for chocolate especially in cereal. I guess Captain Crunch is okay.


Do you collect toys from McDonald's, hoping they will be valuable one day?
Nope.


You oversleep for school or work. What is the most probable reason why?
I stayed out too late with friends. I stayed up too late with my boyfriend. I just couldn't sleep.


When you die, would you like a burial or cremation?
Cremation.


What are the best kind of Girl Scout cookies?
I don't eat GS cookies so no clue.


If a cop was following you, would it make you paranoid?
No, more like annoyed because I'm probably not doing shit wrong, lol.


Do you watch movies with the subtitles on?
Occasionally but not that much.


What game show would you like to be on?
No clue. I don't watch game shows and don't know any that come on.


Can you burp the alphabet?
Yes, yes I can.


Have you ever had an allergic reaction to a certain medication?
Yes and that sucks. =)


What makes you feel all warm & fuzzy inside?
Puppies. Rain.


Do you read trashy romance novels?
Never. Gross.


Do you like to have ice in your drinks?
Not really actually.


Do you watch independent films?
Yes! Oh my gosh, there are so many great ones out there.


Do you constantly doubt yourself?
Not constantly but quite a lot yes.


Have you ever played computer solitaire for hours on end?
Hours no. I haven't ever played that for one whole hour, let alone several hours.


Are you scared of rollercoasters?
Fuck no, lol. I love rollercoasters.


Roll-on gel, solid stick, or spray deodorant?
I use Secret with Olay solid.


What's the funniest thing you've ever read on a bathroom stall?
No clue.


If you saw wet cement, would you place your handprint in it?
I might. Or draw a little something. Maybe make an imprint with my boobs if I could get clean quickly enough, lol.


Have you ever seen anyone fall down an escalator?
Actually no.


Do you think wearing jeans to work is unprofessional?
Depends on where you work.


Are you uneasy about eating from a buffet?
I don't eat buffets. I don't care for it, lol.


When telemarketers call your house, do they mispronounce your last name?
I don't have a house phone! Take that bitches.


Can you honestly tell the difference between DiGiorno and delivery pizza?
Duh. Anyone can easily should be able to tell the difference between delivered pizza and a cooked frozen special, no matter how much the box claims otherwise.


Favorite flavor of Vitamin Water?
I don't drink that stuff.


Do you have a friend of the opposite sex you can talk to about important stuff?
Most of my friends that I can talk to like that are guys so yeah.


Do you ever get "good morning" texts from anyone?
Yes, some friends.


Where is your biological father right now?
Sleeping.


What would you do if you opened your front door and it was Lil' Wayne standing there?
I Google searched Lil' Wayne to find out who it was, lol. Since I don't know his music or anything about him, I'd probably pull him in, hold him hostage and try to get away with some ebay auctions for people to come meet him. Yuh.


Are you a patient person?
Not really, lol.


What is your favorite fruit?
APPLES! I love fruit.


Have you ever had a black and white cat?
Nope, I've never had a cat, I'm allergic to them.

The sound of evil laughter falls around the world tonight....

I think these pictures, this one in particular, got the best responses ever out of any pictures I've ever posted. Well, pictures of myself anyway. ;) Thanks y'all! =)

My sister got a grande white chocolate mocha from Starbucks yesterday. I love the little quotes that they have printed on their cups. Most of the time anyway. Sometimes, they're so stupid it makes my eyes want to bleed so I don't have to read the lines again. Mostly though, I like them. The one on her cup yesterday was one I particularly liked. I'm not a big fan of Keith Olbermann as a general rule. I don't love him, I don't hate him, he's just there and I don't pay a lot of mind to the things he says but once in a while he says something worthwhile. A good example; the quote on her cup! Here it is:

"The world bursts at the seams with people ready to tell you you’re not good enough. On occasion, some may be correct. But do not do their work for them. Seek any job; ask anyone out; pursue any goal. Don’t take it personally when they say “no” — they may not be smart enough to say “yes”.

– Keith Olbermann

I really like that quote. Well, mostly. I love the first line and I love the last line. The first line is true. There are always more people in this world that are going to be there to put you down, to tell you you're not good enough, to discourage you, to laugh at you, to mock you, to try and tear you down and make you believe you're nothing and you're foolish in your dreams, thoughts and ideas.

I say FUCK YOU to those people.

I do not need their pessimistic attitudes. I do not need them trying to tear me down and tell me my ideas, thoughts and dreams are ridiculous because they're too scared to try for their own, too afraid to break through preconceived notions and barriers. I do not need their approval. I do not need to pay attention to their laughing and their ridicule because it doesn't mean a thing coming from people who have nothing good to say anyway. Ridicule, doubt, laughter and their discouragement only make me that much more intent on putting my best efforts forward.

Some tips from me to you:

Tip #1: When making something in the toaster and the setting switch isn't functioning right, it's best to not go off. It's annoying but you need to keep a close eye on it. Don't put your eyes close to the openings though, it's hot fools. Even if you think you have it set on the right thing and you're almost certain you have it set to pop up close to where you want it. Also, don't be busy reading emails while you slip something in the toaster. It's distracting and you just might forget you put something in the toaster. Two minutes later your stuff is going to pop up and it will likely be black... Burnt things smell horrible and that damn smell lingers.

Side note to that tip: I don't burn stuff when I'm cooking. I can't believe I burned some shit in the damn toaster, lol. The dial is fucked up and I thought I had it on the right setting though.

Tip #2: Don't needlessly be a bitch at work. Popping off about shit you have no clue about is a bad idea. The person you're popping off to knows their situation better than you so don't say something stupid and absurd just to be a fucking bitchy cunt. Unless you just enjoy being verbally bitch slapped because I co-workers can't physically punch you in your smart little mouth on the clock. If you do enjoy having your head metaphorically ripped off and shoved up your ass then by all means, carry on with your absurd comments. Some things I co-workers will ignore because it's not worth my time their time but don't pop off talking shit about my loved ones co-workers nearest and dearest when you don't know those people and don't even know what you're running you're mouth about.

Side note to that tip: I can't stand immature, catty, bitchy cunts especially when they act that way just because they can and not because anyone specifically did anything to them. I can't punch them because I like my job and would like to keep it. Money is good and being able to pay for what I need is even better. I can verbally cut them and shut them the fuck up though and still keep my job. Though usually I just ignore them because I don't like petty drama with bitchy girls. Say something about my boyfriend, family or friends though? You're asking for it. This girl's never even met my boyfriend and doesn't know a thing about our situation so she should have kept her mouth and her comment to herself. Of course, I usually ignore her so she wasn't expecting me to go off on her and didn't say another damn word to me all night. She also asked to get off work early because she was in such a bad mood afterward. Ooops. Bitch. *grin*

"Two Weeks" -All That Remains

Happy Friday y'all!
Have a great weekend!

Put me to sleep evil angel, open your wings evil angel...

My Stars play the Colorado Avs tonight! I have to work so I won't see the game until after work. I got to see their game against Calgary on Tuesday night though since I was off work and hell yeah, what a game. We've moved from 15th place (last in our conference) to 6th place. Fuck yeah baby! =) GO STARS!

I don't have anything else I want to say today. So enjoy some music and some pictures instead. If you happen to just want some words, there are plenty here in my interview from Sage and more here in my interview from Thursday's Child. Enjoy.

"Believe" by Staind

"Breath" by Breaking Benjamin

Happy Thursday.

Shoutin' in the street gonna take on the world some day.....

My Stars play the Calgary Flames tonight. I'm off work so I'll be free to watch the game while it's actually on. Woohoo! GO STARS!

I went to a get together with some people from work last night after work. They call it a party but there were only 8 or 9 people there and in my book, that is not even close to being a party, I don't care how much booze is there, lol. I call that "chillin" which what I did a lot of, lol. Got quite a few pictures, had some laughs, played some drinking games, enjoyed watching everyone act ridiculous for the most part, saw some naked body parts I would have rather not seen and overall had a good time.

Last but not least, lets get to the interview with the questions posed by the lovely Thursday's Child . Enjoy!

1. Where did you get the name "Amorous Rocker" from?

A friend and me came up with it one day. I was blogging on another place and wanted to switch to something new which landed me on blogger. Then I wanted to change my name up so people that might search for me under my old blog name wouldn't be able to find my new spot. Minus the few that I told about the switch. Anyway. We came up with a ton of dumb names and I was hell bent on having it be Amorous... something, lol. I love the world amorous and it's fitting, lol. We turned on some music and I sat there, rocking out in his chair and he was making fun of me, calling me a little rock star and stupid shit. Then he had one of those "Ding! Light bulb!" expressions and said I should make it Amorous Rock Star. I didn't really like that because even though rock star would be my dream job, it just didn't fit and work for me. So I suggested rocker instead and we both agreed that was nifty and fitting and so it was. =)


2. The airplane loses your luggage. What are the five essential items you would buy?

All my important items go in my carry on bag. Cell phone and charger, laptop and charger, wallet, ipod and charger, checkbook and all that jazz. Along with make-up, toothbrush and a few travel sized toiletries like deodorant and mouthwash. Also, as a tip from my dad, there's a spare change of clothes in there too, just in case this happens. Which by way, when I was coming back from visiting Boyfriend over Thanksgiving, they did lose my luggage but thankfully I had plenty of clothes and junk at home waiting for me. Just a pain in the ass to deal with. I digress. The five things I would buy would be some undies because I have to have more than two pairs of clean undies and who knows when I'd be able to do laundry. Some shampoo because I must wash my hair. Body wash because I have to be clean. Okay, I can't come up with 5. I carry most of the essentials in my bag that stays with me so I wouldn't be missing much if they lost my bag except for clothes. That would be the biggest thing. I guess for 4 I could buy another pair of pants and 5 I could buy another shirt, lol.


3. What is something that you miss about your childhood?

Simplicity. =)


4. What was the last really bad movie you saw?

Tropic Thunder. I rented it for $1 about two weeks ago and I couldn't even finish watching it. In theaters? No clue. Movie tickets are fucking expensive so I only go see movies that I REALLY want to go see.


5. What is your favorite food and favorite place to get it?

Italian food, so many different things that I can't even pick one thing to be my favorite, lol.. From the kitchen, either made by me or my mama works wonderfully.


I'm supposed to post the whole "rules" to the interview game BUT I already did that last month with this interview by Hubman. I had plenty of people who played along by having me think up questions for them too.

Happy Tuesday!