Drink Of The Day

Ruby Relaxer
1 oz peach schnapps
1 oz vodka
1oz coconut rum
pineapple juice
cranberry juice

Combine peach schnapps, vodka and coconut rum in a mix glass with a few cubes of ice. Shake gently and strain into a cocktail glass. Almost fill with pineapple juice, add a splash of cranberry juice on top and serve.

Garnish: Pineapple, cherry or mint.


Italian Margarita: On The Rocks
1 1/2 oz amaretto almond liqueur
2 oz sweet and sour mix
1 1/2 oz Jose Cuervo® Especial gold tequila
1/2 oz triple sec
1/2 oz orange juice

Take a margarita glass and rub the rim with lime juice. Roll the rim of the glass in course sugar. Add a few ice cubes to the glass. Mix all ingredients and pour over the ice.

Garnish: Either a lime wedge or an orange wedge and a cherry.



Italian Margarita: Frozen for 4 people (For more or less, add/subtract ingredients accordingly or email me & I'll give the recipe for more/less ;p)
4 oz amaretto almond liqueur
2 oz sweet and sour mix
6 oz Jose Cuervo Gold tequila
5 oz frozen orange juice concentrate
4 cups of ice (or 6 for thinner consistency)

Dip the rims of 4 margarita glasses in amaretto, then into sugar; set aside. Add ice to the blender then add in the orange juice concentrate, tequila, amaretto and sour mix. Puree until smooth, then pour into prepared glasses.

Garnish: Lime wedge or orange wedge and a cherry.


And as always... Don't drink and drive please. I'm not going to rant/lecture on about it but please remember to be responsible when you're out having drinks.

Have a great weekend y'all!

Wonder....

"I am strong and smart and willing to do whatever it takes to make the world right, even when I am undervalued and underestimated at every turn. I am beautiful, I am resolute, and I am capable of more love than you could ever imagine. I am your sister, your daughter, your wife and your best friend. I am ancient and I am naïve. I am your grandmother and your Baba Yaga; I am the bones of your civilization and the memory of all that’s come before. I am stories by the fireside and promises of the future. I am your brightest hope for a better tomorrow."

That is a paragraph lifted out of a poem written by a beautiful, intelligent, wonderful woman known as sroxy. To read the full poem, which you should do because it's lovely, go visit her blog.

Showers, sleep, medicine, hockey & sex toys.

You know what one of the things about cold, snowy weather that I actually like is? It's the only time I take steamy, hot showers. Most of the time, I'm good with a nice warm shower. I don't generally like the water that hot. Which is kind of a bummer for my sinuses because all that steam from a hot shower is quite helpful, especially if you drop a Shower Soother in there and breathe it in. So last night, I was winding down for the night and folding some laundry. I was a little chilly though. Even with the heat on, I still wasn't warm enough. I didn't worry about it because it wasn't that bad and I was planning on a nice hot shower after I got done folding laundry. You know, since that stuff still hasn't learned to fold itself. I tried explaining a few times to my socks how easy it is if they would just get with the program and roll up on each other. Didn't work out and laundry still doesn't fold itself. Good thing it's not at all difficult to do, eh? I digress though. So, I got in the shower with the water abnormally hot and let the steam swirl around me while I worked my way under the water. It felt fucking glorious to my chilled skin to be surrounded by so much warmth. I did what I do, enjoyed the feel of the water and the sinus benefits of the steam for a few minutes longer, then I hopped out. The bathroom was so warm from all the heat and steam. It was nice. The only thing that sucks about taking hot showers when it's snowing and below freezing semi late at night? When I walked back into the bedroom to put clothes on, it felt a hundred times colder because I was so much warmer than I previously had been. I was in there maybe a second before I had chill bumps everywhere. So, I did what anyone else would have done. Went back into the bathroom to warm back up, lol. I can't get dressed when my skin is at all damp though so chilling (haha) in there wasn't going to work for me since the moisture from the steam hanging around was preventing me from getting dry. So, I went back into the bedroom, let the cool air in there dry my skin in a minute, then got dressed before using my hair dryer to blow dry my hair. And maybe parts of my body.

You want to know something that bugs me? I went to bed last night some time after 1 AM. I had gotten cold so I put some too-big yoga pants on because they're the only pants I can actually sleep in without them twisting around, riding up, etc. Thus them being the only pants that don't make me feel tangled amd trapped. Which is why I usually never sleep in pants. Anyway, I put them on, curled up under the nice blankets and fell back asleep. When I woke up at 8 AM this morning, I noticed my yoga pants weren't on anymore. Just my tshirt and my Batman boxers. I looked around, yoga pants were no where to be seen. I let it go for a few minutes while I laid there stretching. Then, I got out of bed and went searching for them. They were in the cabinets my clothes are kept in, neatly folded and put away. I have an awesome memory. Really, it's ridiculous the things I can remember at times. I don't for the life of me remember getting up to take off my yoga pants. Much less actually folding them and putting them back away. I sat there thinking and thinking and thinking. Nothing. Then I got to thinking, what the fuck else do I get up and do while I'm sleeping that I don't know about? I'll never know either because apparently I don't remember what I get up and do. And for anyone that might suggest I might have kicked them off to the floor and maybe my boyfriend picked them up, folded them and put them away for me? Please, don't waste your time typing such a though. I'm not insulting him but he just doesn't do things like that. He'd step over the yoga pants if they were laying in the middle of the floor and proceed on to the bed as if they were just a part of the floor. Or he might kick them out of the general path but he wouldn't neatly fold them and put them away. Everything he owns minus socks and boxer briefs goes on a hanger because he absolutely hates folding anything. So, now I want to find a way to set up my webcam to record the room while I sleep. It's motion activated when it's on so even if the computer is in sleep mode, if something trips the censor, the webcam will start rolling. I just want to see if I'm folding laundry in my sleep or if I get up and do anything weird. It would make sense that my legs wake up sore and feeling freshly worked out once in a while if I'm secretly getting up and ballroom dancing with myself around the room all night.

Why must drugs be so expensive? Lol. Seriously. Doesn't help that I don't have health insurance but hell, a lot of stuff is still ridiculously expensive for those who do have insurance. Anyway, I won't get into that whole rant. Today anyway. =p

USA vs SWITZERLAND is today! Men's hockey! Woohoo! At 3 PM Eastern time. So 2 PM for me. Actually, it's hockey all day, I just won't see most of it because of the whole no cable thing. I might actually get to see USA vs Switzerland though since I think NBC is actually going to be showing the game. Albeit, it's at fucking 2 PM so most people will be missing it since you know, they'll still be at work and such. Which sucks. I'll probably be home in time to see it, or at least catch the second and third period. HELL YES! GO USA! =) I wonder if any of y'all can guess what other country I'm secretly pulling for... You know, unless it comes down to the USA for a medal then I'm not hoping anyone places higher than USA does. ;) If some how, we get knocked out and we're not in it anymore, there is a country I want to see come out on top. I'll even gve y'all the options if you want to make a guess, heh. Switzerland, Canada, Russia, Czech Republic, Finland, Slovakia or Sweden.

I got a gift recently. It's a sex toy. It's one I already have and rather enjoy using. It was a surprise gift. I did offer to give the toy back to the person who got it for me. She declined and told me to sell it because she didn't have the receipt for it anymore so couldn't take it back. I asked her if she wanted it, she said she already had one and knew I would like it so it was a way late Christmas gift. So, I think I'm going to put it up on here for sale, at a discounted rate. It's a $90 toy but I'll be asking for a little less than that, if anyone is at all interested in it. Then if someone buys it, I can give my friend the money. She gets some of her money back that way it isn't a total loss for her and someone out there gets a nice, new toy for cheaper than they would anywhere else. Sound good? Okay. =)

Happy Wednesday!

Like memories of dying days...

Last night was the first meet up between Team USA and Team Canada for the Olympics AND USA WON 5-3! Kessler's empty net goal to close the deal and put USA up by 2 with less than a minute left in the game was amazing. We don't have cable or satellite but luckily, we found a sports bar that was showing the game. And even had the audio for the game on! I'd say a little less than half the bar was watching hockey. There was a poker tournament going on that was getting more attention. I don't care though, I love hockey. And yes, NBC's lame coverage annoys me too. I hate that people say, "No one cares about hockey." Fine, you don't care about it, I don't care. A vast majority of the United States doesn't care about it? fine, I don't care. No one likes hockey? Tell that to the millions of hockey fans all over the US alone that look forward to watching their favorite teams in not just the NHL, but the AHL and other leagues as well. Tell that to the millions of people who buy tickets, get season tickets and look forward to going to see a game played live. Hell, I look forward to just getting to watch a game. I get it though. Hockey isn't wildly popular in America. I live in Texas, seriously, I get that it's not as popular as the NFL, NBA or MLB. I also have a ton of friends and plenty of family members who couldn't care less about hockey, never watch a game, don't understand it, don't care to understand it, etc. Blah blah blah. Just because it's not wildly popular doesn't mean that "no one here likes hockey" because yeah, that's bullshit. Drive down to Victory Avenue in Dallas on a night when the Stars are playing and tell the people who are decked out in jerseys and team t-shirts that they're only fooling themselves because really, deep down, none of them really like hockey. Don't say that "absolutely no one likes XYZ" because no matter what it is, somewhere, there are people who will like and enjoy whatever you're claiming no one likes. (Warning. Something I find gross is about to be said. You may even find it crude, graphic and down right vomit inducing. Don't say I didn't warn you if you end up throwing up in your mouth a little bit. If you wanna skip it, just move down to the next paragraph.) Even if it's fucking someone in the ass, ejaculating inside of them and then using a baby spoon to remove the sperm from said ass only to feed it to the person you came in or eat it yourself. Yes, that's disgusting. I used that as an example because I have a friend who used to do that with an ex-girlfriend. My point is, don't say "no one is into this so...." because no matter what it is, there are people out there who dig it.

No one need take that as a personal attack by the way. I'm directing that more at articles and a few obnoxious people. The obnoxious people in question know I'm talking about them because we've had our "discussions" on it already. So, if I didn't discuss this with you already, don't feel like it's aimed at you or anything. Unless you want to, then whatever. =p

The always helpful, wonderful, Osbasso fixed my layout for me. Thanks, Os! The side columns were not wide enough and stuff was cut off because of that. That problem doesn't exist anymore. How does it look? I'm still on the hunt for a template that screams out at me. So you know, if you know any websites for templates for blogger that are free, let me know. =) Please & thank you. The address to my blog along with the name I blog under is probably going to change next week. So, get ready, bwahaha. You'll just have to change your links in your blogrolls, bookmarks, etc though. You'll get automatically redirected if you try to come to this address.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR JESSICA! HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU! - While I don't have permission to post the link to Jessica's livejournal, I did have permission to wish her a happy birthday as long as I didn't post the address of her sacred space. ;) Happy 21st Birthday, girlie! Hope you have a good one!

Y'all know I do the Twitter thing. I also do the formspring thing, once in a while. I thought it was goofy. I was super bored one night so I gave it a shot. It was fun. I do it irregularly now. Saturday night, I got some good/interesting questions. So, I'm going to post them here. You can anonymously ask questions & the few I'm posting today were all asked anonymously. Enjoy!

Everyone asks about positives, what about negatives? Thing you won't eat? Place you never want to visit? Person you never care to meet? Sex act you say "no" to? Music you won't listen to? Team you never want to win Stanley Cup?

Oh! I love this one! No clue who asked this but thank you. =)

Mountain Oysters. If you don't know what that is some how, look it up. =)

Russia. I have nothing against it, just not somewhere that I'd want to visit.

That's a long list, lol. Most famous people honestly. Celebrities don't interest me much.

Anything involving shit, piss, vomit or animals.

There isn't much I won't listen to. I can't stand most of the pop crap that comes on the radio though. Lady GaGa, Beyonce, etc. I also really can't stand most rap.

Haha. I wouldn't say I never want a team to win it because those guys all play their asses off and work really damn hard for it. I'd never deny someone an achievement they worked hard to get. I'll admit I wouldn't be happy about the Sharks, Capitals, Flames, Ducks, Devils or Flyers winning it though since those are the 6 teams I dislike most. Though, each of those teams has at least one player on there that I like but that's not enough to make me smile if they won the Stanley Cup. ;)


Is it healthy to be in a relationship when you can't get along with in-laws?

You're not in a relationship with your in-laws. You and the person you're with is the more important relationship. You won't like everyone, you won't get along with everyone and that applies to in-laws and your SO's family in my opinion. Granted, not getting along with your SO's family makes it a bit more difficult if your SO has a decent relationship with their family.


Is there a odor that makes you instantly sick?

Cabbage cooking. The smell makes my stomach churn instantly & blech.


What would the founding fathers think of the USA today, if brought back to life in 2010?

I have no idea. As far as I know, I'm not any of the founding fathers reincarnated so I wouldn't begin to speculate about the disappointment or joy they get from the current progression of things.


WHICH IS BETTER: chicken or beef? apples or oranges? sex or chocolate? hockey or football? massage or lots of kissing? the icing or the cake? starbucks or dutch bros? google or bing? one tree hill or gossip girl? american idol or so u think u can dance?

Chicken. Hands now.

Apples. Don't like oranges.

Sex. I'm not a fan of chocolate.

HOCKEY. Duh.

Massage. Then lots of kissing after.

The cake. Not a big fan of icing.

Starbucks. Dutch Bros. sucks IMO. Not at all sad we don't have them in Texas.

Google.

House.

House.

Happy Monday!

Saturday Survey on a Sunday

Team USA versus Team Canada is today!
Olympic hockey, woohoo.

Saturday Sunday Survey #298
Brought to you by: Amorous Rocker

2. Have you ever made out in a basement?
Not in a really long time.

3. Is your driveway steep?
Not at all.

4. Are you happy with your living arrangement?
Not so much but it works for the time being.

5. What was the last advice you gave someone?
I said and I quote myself, "People aren't like Build-A-Bear. You don't start with a standard model, change it to what you want it to be and then live happily ever after with it."

6. Do you have a friend of the opposite sex that you talk to 24/7?
No because I don't have anyone I talk to 24/7. I like to sleep and I don't need that much social interaction. Being surrounded my someone every minute of every day would drive me nuts.

7. Who was the last person you cried in front of?
I don't know. I don't cry in front of people if I can help it.

8. Have you ever shaved in the kitchen sink?
Don't think so.

9. If you could have one thing right now what would it be?
A check for a million dollars that is tax free.


10. Who was the last person to send you a text message?
My younger sister.


11. Where does your family live?
My parents and siblings live in California. Most everyone else lives in various cities in Texas.

12. What is one thing and only one thing that turns you on?
Biting.

13. Do any sounds turn you on?
Accents. They totally count as sounds too, lol. ;)

14. Have you ever been gambling?
Yeah. I could take it or leave it.

15. Last thing you cooked?
I made chicken pizza for dinner last night.

16. Quote something:
“I do not agree with what you have to say, but I'll defend to the death your right to say it.” – Voltaire

17. Anyone in the room with you?
Some sort of floaty creature that won't let itself be easily seen. And my boyfriend.

18. Do you miss anyone?
Like at target practice? Depends. I'm not a bad shot with guns but I'm way better with knives and throwing stars.

19. How close did you ever come to getting a nose ring?
Not close at all. I never wanted one.

20. Do you think it's sexy to sleep with socks on?
Who gives a shit? If you're trying to seduce someone or fucking, leave them off. If it's just sleep, it's more important to be comfortable. If you're feet are cold and making you uncomfortable? Put the socks on. I sleep with socks on my feet sometimes because my feet get damn cold. I'm asleep. My dude's asleep. Looking sexy isn't a concern. I care more about being comfortable.

21. Would you kiss someone of the same sex for 100 bucks?
I'd do it for free if I were attracted to the person but hey, if someone wants to pay me $100 for something I would do for free... I'm not opposed to that at all, lol. =p

22. Are you allergic to any kind of medication?
Penicillin.

23. Do you have a ceiling fan in your room, and if so, is there dust on that fan?
No fan but we have the dust. Or maybe there is a fan under all that dust. Or the fan is made of dust.

24. Are you ever sarcastic?
No. Except for answer 23.

25. Do you know anyone who's addicted to any drugs?
Sadly, yeah.

Happy Sunday!!

Drink Of The Day: Zombie, Tokyo seen twice & Adios Motherfucker

I picked the first drink up for today in honor or Wednesday's post. Plus, it's tasty as fuck. If a real zombie tasted this good, they might have to worry about people trying to eat them. Just sayin'.

Zombie

1/2 oz Bacardi® 151 rum
1 oz pineapple juice
1 oz orange juice
1/2 oz apricot brandy
1 tsp sugar
2 oz light rum
1 oz dark rum
1 oz lime juice

Mix all ingredients with ice except Bacardi 151 proof rum. Pour ice and liquors into a collins/tall glass. Float Bacardi 151 proof rum on top.
Garnish: A fruit slice (orange or pineapple work), sprig of mint and a cherry.


Tokyo Tea

1/2 oz vodka
1/2 oz rum
1/2 oz gin
1/2 oz 1800® Tequila
1/2 oz triple sec
1 oz Midori® melon liqueur

Combine all ingredients in a cocktail shaker. Shake, strain into a small glass filled with ice, and serve.
Garnish: Cherry or chunk of melon.


Tokyo Ice Tea

1 oz vodka
1 oz gin
1 oz rum
1 oz 1800® Tequila
2 oz kiwi liqueur
1 oz sugar syrup (granulated sugar will work)
6 oz 7-Up® soda

Mix the alcohol. Add ice, sugar syrup/sugar and 7-up. Stir well and serve.
Garnish: Lemon.


Adios Motherfucker

1/2 oz vodka
1/2 oz rum
1/2 oz 1800® Tequila
1/2 oz gin
1/2 oz Blue Curacao liqueur
2 oz sweet and sour mix
2 oz 7-Up® soda

Pour all ingredients except the 7-Up into a chilled glass filled with ice cubes. Top with 7-Up and stir gently.
Garnish: Lemon, lime or cherry.


And as always... Don't drink and drive please. I'm not going to rant/lecture on about it but please remember to be responsible when you're out having drinks.

Have a great weekend y'all!

Flesh eating zombie vs the elite ninja pirates...

I was texting with a friend yesterday and he mentioned that I was becoming one of his favorite people. I asked why. His response was that I'm funny and I'm not a horrible flesh eating zombie. My response to that?

"Honestly, I'd rather be a ninja pirate hybrid over a zombie."

Of course, he wanted to know why I would pick that over a horrible, flesh eating terror of a zombie. No doubt, I would be smarter than your average zombie and would be a force to be reckoned with. I love zombies as much as the next zombie loving dude or chick. So don't think I'm hating on them or anything because I'm not. When it comes down to it though, if you stand a zombie in front of a ninja pirate hybrid to see who is killing who first? My money is not on the zombie.

Zombie's don't move that quickly. Ninjas are known for the quickly, fluid, stealthy skills. They have that over ninjas. They have speed and agility. Or at least, me as a ninja, has these things in my mind. So, I have the speed and the agility of a ninja. I also have all the badass martial arts ninja moves. Massive skills right there and that's before I even add in the badass weapons that ninjas have. I have have swords, throwing stars, all kinds of cool shit. Ninjas are also known for their honor however. Which is where the pirate needs to come into the mix with this. Now, pirates, aren't known for their high morals or strict code of ethic. Not happening. They also have a ship and all the rum. Given, too much rum might hinder some of that stealth and agility but I'm still part ninja and I'd have the self control not to over do things with the rum.

How can I not be a force to be reckoned with when I have the speed, agility, stealth, martial arts skills and badass weaponry combined with the lacking morals of a pirate who will do what is necessary in the name of self preservation? The ship is merely just a helpful perk because zombies can't swim. If they're a super zombie who does swim, well that's what the cannons and guns on said pirate ship are for. Blow a hole right in the fucking super swimming zombies and then what? That's right... nothing, no more, finished. Bitch.

As if you need any more reason to join me in my ninja pirate brigade let us not forget, pirates also get all the wenches and booty (and I'm not talking treasure there, guys and gals) where as a zombie just wants to nom on those wenches flesh for a meal. So, I think it's clear to see why I could pick being a ninja pirate hybrid over being a flesh munching zombie.

Yeah, this is the kind of stuff I think of on a regular basis and these are the kinds of conversations I have on a fairly regular basis. It's fun to contemplate these things. Also, it's always good to know what you would do if you ever find yourself in a strange situation. Who wants to spend a couple hours roaming around inside my head? *grin*

Happy Wednesday!

Lyrically Speaking

If you've read this blog long enough, you know there is precious little that I love more than music. People not included. There are quite a few people I love more than I love music. It's a different kind of love though so it doesn't quite count. ;) If I had an obsession, it would be music. I love all kinds. It depends on the mood I'm in what I listen to but it's always an eclectic mix. So today, I'm posting a bunch of lyrics from some of my favorite songs.

"Now don't you be afraid
We can always talk about it
No need to medicate
Cause I know you're strong without it" -Heaven (Little By Little) by Theory Of A Deadman

"You can tell the same lie a thousand times,
But it never gets any more true." -Redneck by Lamb Of God

"Out on the road there are fireflies circling
Deep in the woods, where the lost souls hide
Over the hill there are men returning
Trying to find some peace of mind

Sleep my child

Under the fog there are shadows moving
Don't be afraid, hold my hand
Into the dark there are eyelids closing
Buried alive in the shifting sands" -Death Whispered A Lullaby by Opeth

"I say the damnedest things when you're on top of me." - I Almost Told You That I Love You by Papa Roach

"Why is it so hard
To find someone
Who cares about you
When it's easy enough to find
Someone who looks down on you
Why is it so hard to find
Someone who can keep it
Together when you've come undone
Way is it so hard
To find someone
Who cares about you" - Someone Who Cares by Three Days Grace

"Soap won't wash away your shame." - Shame by Depeche Mode

"I don't wanna be the girl who laughs the loudest
Or the girl who never wants to be alone
I don't wanna be that call at 4 o'clock in the morning
'Cos I'm the only one you know in the world that won't be home" -Sober by P!nk

"I feel your love surrounding me
Strong enough that I can believe
There won't ever be a storm that I can't weather
Cause you hold me together" -You Hold Me Together by Dierks Bentley

"Send me over...taste the day
Blink in fragments...and gone away
Captured moments...hold the frame
Mold me, build me, lead me on
I'm only growing older" - A Season's End by Embodyment

"The quiet scares me because it screams the truth." -Sober by P!nk

"To see you when I wake up
is a gift I didn't think could be real.
To know that you feel the same as I do
is a three-fold, Utopian dream.
You do something to me that I can't explain." - I Miss You by Incubus

"No I don't need a reason to be breathing.
Just here doin' what I can.
No I don't want a family who would damn me
and resent everything I am
I don't need to prove to all the ones who
Feel that I need to fit in." - Sacrifice by Theory Of A Deadman

"All the wants you waste
All the things you've chased
And it all crashes down
And you break your crown
And you point your finger
But there's no one around
Just want one thing
Just to play the king
But the castle crumbled
And you've left with just a name
Where's your crown?
King nothing." - King Nothing by Metallica

"I swore I'd never let somebody get close again
I was never gonna let my guard down, not for anyone
But there's a light in your eyes and it's got me moving in
And tonight these walls are all coming down." - My Heart Is Open by Keith Urban

"Everybody expects me to break
But I'll never break down again.
Everybody expects me to give up
but you'll never see me givin' in.
Everybody wants me to lose
but I'll never lose who I am." -Sacrifice by Theory Of A Deadman

Happy Monday!

Newness abounds.

The template you see currently is PROBABLY the template I'll be using for my new blog. Same background, same widgets, same tabs, etc. I'm trying it out here so see if anyone has a problem viewing it.

I don't know much HTML so it's taken a lot of tinkering and just educated guessing to get this much done, lol. I think it looks better than my former layout did. What do y'all think?

Also, if anyone who isn't in the dark with HTML wants to lend a chick a hand with some editing, don't by shy. =)

Happy Hallmark/Commercialism Day Valentines Day.
;)

Drink Of The Day: Kisses, Cupid's Potion & some Sex on the Sidewalk

For Valentine's Day, I'm posting more than a couple drink recipes. As you'll probably notice, I picked drinks by their names but I also picked ones that I think are good.

You don't need a shaker to shake cocktails either, don't let that stop you. Plenty of things that are likely in your kitchen can be used as a shaker. Get creative. I might even post some ideas on what to use as a shaker if you don't have one here soon.

Velvet Kiss
Fill shaker with ice.
Add the following ingredients in shaker:

1 oz Gin
1/2 oz Banana Liqueur
1/2 oz pineapple juice
1 oz heavy cream
Dash of Grenadine (optional)

Shake well and then strain into a glass.


Cupid's Potion
Add the following ingredients in shaker:

1 1/2 oz Amaretto
1/2 oz Triple Sec
Dash of Grenadine
Fill with equal parts Orange Juice and Sour Mix.

Shake well, serve over ice. Or fill a glass halfway with ice, add all ingredients and stir thoroughly. It tastes good either way. ;)


Cherry Kiss
Fill shaker with ice.
Add the following ingredients in shaker:

1 1/2 oz Vodka
1/2 oz Chocolate Liqueur
1/4 oz Cherry Liqueur
3/4 oz Cream or Milk

Shake well, strain into glass.


Sex On The Sidewalk (as a shot)
Fill shaker with ice.
Add the following ingredients in shaker:

1 oz Vodka
1/2 oz Melon Liqueur
1/2 oz Chambord Raspberry Liqueur
1 oz Cranberry Juice

Shake well, strain into glass.


Sex On The Sidewalk (as a cocktail)
Add the following ingredients in shaker:

1 1/2 oz Vodka
1/2 oz Melon Liqueur
1 oz Chambord Raspberry Liqueur
Fill with Cranberry Juice (6 oz)

Mix well, serve over ice.

Don't drink and drive please. Even if you're not drunk but just tipsy, it's still stupid because even if you feel like you're fine... you're still impaired. Of course, everyone who drives intoxicated thinks they drive just fine and don't realize any differences in what they're doing. Blah blah blah. I'm not going to rant/lecture on about it but please remember to be responsible when you're out having drinks.

Have a great weekend y'all!

I have to stop giving yall a hard time...

Next time the blogosphere and Twitterverse is full of people talking about all the snow they're dealing with, I will not good spiritedly poke fun of them and give them a hard time.

Apparently if I do that, the next day, what happens is this....



Granted, it's not as bad as what a lot of you cats are dealing with but still. This is fucking Dallas, Texas. We don't get all that much snow. So far the last few months, every time I've given someone up North a hard time about their snow issues... we end up getting snow here. I like snow, the cold doesn't bother me much because I don't spend much time outside but yeah. I don't own winter clothes honestly. The few long sleeved things I own are light weight and pretty useless when it hits those lovely below freezing down int he teens temps.

Though, I don't think this snow will be sticking around long. Which makes me happy because the roads are going to be a mess and people are crazy drivers enough on normal, pretty weather days, lol.

The Boyfriend decided he was going to build a snowman. So he did. He's 6'8" tall if that gives you an idea of the height of the snowman. ;)

Anyway. The Stars play tonight. We're playing Calgary. They hold the 8th place seat in the Western Conference with 67 points. Anaheim won last night which bumped them to 10th place and bumped us down to 11th. They're only ahead of us by 1 point though. If we win tonight against Calgary, we'll be back in 10th and over them by 1 point. Detroit is in 9th and they're tied with Anaheim with 65 points. I hope Detroit loses tonight so they maintain that 65, lol. Dallas is at 64 points so far this season. Calgary who holds 8th has 67. We have to freaking beat them tonight because then we'll only trail them by 1 point where as them winning just puts them 2 more points ahead of us. Which doesn't bode well for the Star's if they still want to try and make it to the freaking playoffs this year. Only the top 8 from each conference go forward. Despite Dallas not having the best season, thankfully neither have some other teams. Though, at least we're not the Edmonton Oilers with their snazzy 42 points. See Stars fans, that's something to be happy about. Sort of. ;)

I'm trying to find a template for the new blog. I can't find anything I like that's free that I can figure out how to make work, lol. Granted, I don't know much about doing that type of thing so it's not so easy for me but I'm trying to learn. If anyone knows a good place to get free (because I'm a broke ass bitch) blogger templates that look good, let me know please and thank you!

Happy Thursday!

If sex is the drug, what is the cost..

Golden raspberries are so fucking yummy. I wish you could get them all year long.

I'm happy about something. I'm giving the Ella from yesterday's review away to a good home. No, I'm not having a contest. I already have it worked out who she's going to. Hopefully the lady who is getting Ella will enjoy it more than I did. =)

The blog title has nothing to do with the post. It's a lyric from a song by Papa Roach that I have stuck in my had. Won't you be sad if you clicked here to read something sexy. No matter. There's enough smut on the web, far better than what I'd write anyway. Yuh. Though, I'm totally posting the video now. Uh, don't watch it while you're at work. There's some language and some people getting whipped and some other stuff. There's your warning.



I love going to the post office early in the morning because almost no one else is there. No rude ass people, aside from the ones that work there, to deal with. No long lines. No listening to kids screaming. No gaggle of people all chirping into their phones about various things while standing in line. It's nice, quiet and you're done in minutes. Kick. Ass.

One of my best friends pestered me for weeks to watch the show Modern Family. I ignored her because honestly, I don't watch a lot of TV because I think most of the shit that comes on is crap. Though, I never watch any of it so I don't have much to go off of aside from my general disinterest in TV. I finally gave in and watched an episode to shut her up because she agreed to stop pestering me about it if I'd watch one episode. She loves the show and knowing me as well as she does, somehow knew I would totally dig it if I'd just watch. I figure she watches a hundred shows and never tries to get me into any of them because she knows me and knows I wouldn't really like most of them anyway. She was right. I love that show.

Now, a short little question session. Got a question you want to ask me? Leave it in the comments or send me an email.

Could you handle living together with the last person who sent you a text message?
The last text I got was from my boyfriend. I live with him already and we have yet to kill each other. So, yes.

Do you think you could be with someone for over four years?
Actually... The Boyfriend and I will be celebrating the 4 year anniversary in May. (Oh my gosh. HOLY FUCK!)

Does anything on your body hurt?
My lower back and my right thigh.

Do you prefer pudding or ice cream?
Ice cream, definitely.

You're thinking about zombies right now, aren't you?
Nope. Not even after reading this question. You can't break the concentration I got going on, fools.

At what age do you want to have your first child?
Never. I don't want kids.

Do you usually tell people when you’re mad at them?
Yes. I've got a bad temper so it's not too hard to tell.

Would you live with someone without marrying them?
I already do.

Has someone ever called you at midnight on your birthday?
Every year. =)

When was the last time you had an alcoholic beverage?
Friday night. Beer and Jack and Coke.

Are you a patient person?
Not so much but I've gotten better!

Do you like your music loud or at a reasonable level?
LOUD!

Happy Wednesday!

Ella Enchanted? Not so much.

I had heard a ton of great things about LELO sex toys. People rave about them, singing their praises and rave on and on about what fabulous toys they are. Me, I'm a cynical girl so I didn't entirely believe that these toys were some kind of magical goddesses meant to work magic in one's vagina. Though, the hype did make me want to try a toy by the company something bad. With so many people raving about their toys, it did make me want to try one. So, I waited patiently and I got lucky after months of waiting. The wonderful folks at Tabu Toys were awesome enough to send me the Ella by LELO. The high majority of the reviews I had seen on Ella were all superb, filled with praise. Again, I'm a cynical girl but I was excited when I opened my box from Tabu and saw Ella's box peeking out at me.


I admit, I don't get hung up on packaging. I don't store my toys in the boxes they come in. I get that you don't want something to come in a taped together cardboard box. I get that you want the package holding whatever you're getting to be aesthetically pleasing. I get it but I don't care much about packaging honestly. I will hand it to Lelo however. They're packaging is quite lovely. The Ella came in a black box that was nice enough it could have been holding a fancy necklace instead of a double ended dildo.

It comes with a satin pouch to store the toy in and that does make me happy. I prefer to store my toys in pouches honestly. They take up less space than a box and they keep lint, hair, dust or any other type of debris lurking in your drawer from getting on the toy.

It also includes and instruction manual and the standard 1 Year LELO warranty. So lets start where I always do and check out the boring details of the toy.

Material: Silicone
Texture: Velvety

Features: Double ended, Phthalates free

Length: 7"
Insertable length: 5"
Circumference: 4"
Diameter: 1 1/4"


Ella is made from silicone and has a super soft, velvety texture. Holding the toy in my hand, I was happy with the shape and feel of the toy. She is firm but not completely rigid. There is some pliability to the toy. She'll flex for you but she isn't the least but floppy. Which is nice. I like a good firm dildo that has a little bit of flex. It makes it easier to use if the form will flex a little yet still be firm.

If you want a toy that is going to fill you up, this won't be the one for you. It's not that big and it's going to leave you wanting if you're looking for something to give you that full feeling. If you want g-spot stimulation, you're definitely going to get it with this baby. The shape and size of the flat, wide head of the toy make it easy to stimulate the g-spot. Getting the head of the toy to hit my g-spot wasn't a problem at all. The problem I had is that the head kept getting hooked on my pubic bone which caused a slight bit of discomfort each time it happened. Totally hard to have an enjoyable time when something keeps doing something that doesn't feel entirely pleasurable.

The head tapers down into a thinner neck that has a flat, top surface. Then it widens back out to a wider, thicker bottom then the bottom ends in a slimmer point. The flat surface on top at the neck works quite well for getting a good grip on the toy if you're inserting the bulkier end.

Which brings me to the next thing. The other end of the toy. It's wider but still won't give you that full feeling if that's what you're looking for. I did like how this end of the toy felt inside me though. It felt less awkward than the head. The smooth texture combined with the shape felt quite nice inside of my vagina. However, after several minutes of using it, it just wasn't doing it for me.

You can also use this toy anally but I chose not to. Not for any safety reasons, more so because I just wasn't feeling the Ella that well. If you do use it anally, please be careful and keep a good grip on the toy. When the toy gets covered in lube, it's a little difficult to hold on to.

I did get off once while using the toy. It's almost impossible for me to not get off when stimulating my g-spot. The head end does work well for that. I just really wasn't feeling this toy though.

Remember, Ella is made of silicone so don't use a silicone based lube with her or you'll do some damage.

Cleaning of this toy is super easy. There are no batteries since it isn't a vibrator and there's nothing you have to watch out for. Some warm water and soap and you're good to go if you just want to give it a good clean. You can also give boil, use a 10% bleach solution or sit it in the top rack of your dish washing machine if you're lucky enough to have one of those things. If you plan on sharing Ella, make sure you sterilize the toy well before passing her on and once you get her back.

I really wanted to like this toy. Not because of all the hype that surrounded it. I don't ever let my expectations get too high with anything. Like I said, I'm a cynical girl so having high expectations just isn't my thing. I wanted to dig it because once I had it out of the box and in my hand, the texture of it and the shape made me really want to enjoy it. I was hoping it would rock my socks off and be my new favorite dildo. The lines and curves of the Ella are gorgeous. The texture is wonderful and feels almost decadent against your skin. When people call LELO "luxury sex toys" they really aren't exaggerating. From an engineering standpoint, this toy is great.

From my own personal standpoint, I'm just not impressed with Ella and she doesn't do that much for me. I'm sure there are quite a few of you out there who would LOVE to own this beautiful dildo though. Hell, there are tons of people out there who do own Ella and do love the toy to death. I'm just not one of them and don't see myself using this toy very often, if I use her again at all.

Thank you to Tabu Toys for letting me trying this toy out!

Sometimes, I ramble.

I didn't watch the Super Bowl. I didn't care about the game and didn't care about the commercials. I can see the commercials online if I choose. Though honestly, I really don't care since I rarely find any commercials that amusing anyway. However, if one particularly struck your fancy or gave you a real good giggle, please feel free to mention it. I didn't care about the game because I have no preference to either team that played. While I'm a Cowboys fan (stop laughing, that's my home team after all) as far as the NFL is concerned, there are a couple other teams I like. None of which happened to be playing yesterday. Which is why, I didn't really care about who won and didn't feel like watching. Though, I couldn't avoid the tweets when I hopped on Twitter because almost everyone was tweeting about it. Which is why I was avoiding it for the most part. I did see New Orleans won so that's good for them, as a team and as a city/community.

Instead of the big game, I watched a ton of episodes of Modern Family and Family Guy. I don't watch much TV really but I love those two shows. I don't have an interest in most shows that come on otherwise. I prefer to watch things where I can learn something or sports. The Boyfriend and I are poor kids so we can only afford basic television and don't have cable or anything fancy. Which sucks because I miss Discovery Channel, NHL Channel, Food Network, Cartoon Network, History Channel and ESPN something fierce. IF you're wondering how I watch so many hockey games when we only have plain ol' TV, I have the answer to that. I either go to a friend's house, go to a sports bar or find a stream online and watch on my laptop. Fun times. I will go to great lengths to see hockey. Also, unlike the NFL, I'll watch the entire playoffs and Stanley Cup series even if Dallas isn't a part of any of it. Even if the other teams I semi like aren't in it because well, I love hockey that much. =)

My hair grows too quickly. I have a love/hate relationship with that. I love that it grows quickly because it's healthy. I hate it because it gets on my nerves, lol. I wish my step-cousins wife actually lived in Texas. I'd totally get her to do my hair again. Not because she does it for free (that is nice though) but because I don't mind her doing it. I'm crazy about who I let touch my hair. Which is why I rarely get it cut and just usually trim the ends myself at home. Which I'll probably end up doing later today since I can't afford a hair cut and I'm apprehensive about letting anyone touch my hair anyway, lol.

Something bugging me right now? I keep hearing footsteps but no one's awake and I'm damn sure not walking around typing on my laptop. If I stop and listen, they get faint as hell. If I try to ignore it, they're loud and stomping. Something is being quite annoying and should really knock it off.

Something else bugging me? I had a review and a Drink of the Day post scheduled to auto post over the weekend. Neither post ended up publishing. I checked and the dates and times were current and correct. No clue what the fuck happened. I've had this issue before but lately, it seems to be happening more frequently and it's really annoying. So Blogger, knock it the fuck off. Bitch. <3 href="http://www.amazon.com/Pixar-Short-Films-Collection-1/dp/B000V1Y44G">Pixar Short Films Collection DVD is one of my absolute favorite things to watch.

Someone asked me a random question via direct message on Twitter yesterday. I shall share it here now. =) Question was, "Do you ever watch TV/listen to music while falling asleep?" My reply to that was that yes, I do tend to listen to music to fall asleep. Which prompted the second question of, "What 3 bands are your favorite to fall asleep listening to?" My answer to that? Opeth, Incubus and Nightwish. With Opeth and Nightwish, it's because almost all of their music is so relaxing and beautiful to me. With Incubus, they're one of my absolute favorite bands and I love Brandon Boyd's (lead singer) voice.

The Boyfriend and I went to see Sherlock Holmes last night. I know, most people who wanted to see it already have and that's cool. I'm not a big fan of going to the movies. It's expensive and people are generally obnoxious and have no manners. So, I like to go when a movie is on it's way out of the theaters. I figured between the big football even last night, it being a Sunday night, being late and being a movie that's on it's way out of the theaters that it would be the perfect time to go see it. I was totally right. Only two other people were in there with is. They weren't paying attention to the movie though. If your mind went to the gutter there, you're right on track. If it didn't go there, well, it should have by now, lol. They were fairly quiet though except for a few times when they were talking, giggling or making other noises that were louder than the movie. That only happened a few times though so it wasn't really annoying. Though why in hell anyone would want to pay $17 to have a dark place to make out and fool around a little bit is beyond me. Especially when one or possibly both of them have their own apartment. They didn't actually fuck in the theater, which I know because the woman was on her cell in the restroom after the movie at the same time as I was explaining to someone quickly what they had done and what she hoped to do once they got back to his apartment. Oh and yes, she did remember to bring condoms. Good for them. =)

Happy Monday!

It's a big one!

I had to bring back the damn word verification on comments. Sorry but it won't be there long. Just a couple weeks to get the spam out of here. I contemplated just disabling anonymous comments but I have a lot of super long time readers who comment that way since they don't have blogs and don't want their google account info out there. It's all good. Word verification is just a minor inconvenience. A temporary one at that.

Also, I'm going to be changing something soon. I'll have a new URL and I'll be writing under a different name. The blog title will be the same. The content will be a bit different. The name I'll be writing under will be my real first name though. I'm a little freaked out by that but meh, not really. I'm doing that because I am writing articles for a couple different websites and I want to be able to tie those in with my blog. The articles are under my real first name though and tying them in with my blog will help for the exposure that I want to get with that. The content change won't be huge. Just the addition of the articles, more posts with substance, much less about sex, more about sports than I already post, more creative writing like I used to do and all around just less crap. I'll still post pictures but I will not be participating in HNT anymore, ever. I just don't care to do it anymore. I don't have any interest in it. It's not that I don't want to do it because I think I have too many people coming here just to perv at my tits or whatever. I don't care about that. I just don't have an interest in doing it anymore. Anyway, I'm working on design for the new blog and eventually just want my own domain. I'll need help with that. After I can afford it which is the issue with not setting up my own domain now, lol. Anyway, moving on to something else.

I'm almost done with the book of stories I'm doing too. It's a collection of all the weird and sometimes crazy dreams I have. I got the idea from several people to put a collection of those stories together and make a book. I've been working on it for months. I think I've got a good amount now, I just have another dream I want to add to it. A recurring one I have. I'm just having trouble writing it but I'm happy it's all coming together.

My Stars play the Columbus Blue Jackets tonight. Which will be interesting because CBJ just fired their head coach, Ken Hitchcock, yesterday. Hitchcock is also a former Dallas Star's head coach. We played a damn good game on Tuesday night against the Minnesota Wild. We won that one in regulation 2-4. Turco, who has had a struggle this season, played the best game he's played all damn season. Which I hope he can keep up since they're talking trades in regard to him. He's one of my favorite players (I'm wearing my Turco Stars jersey tshirt right now as a matter of fact) and I'd be sad as hell to see him go. Though if that does end up happening, I'm not going to be surprised since I expect it to given his performance this season. Hopefully the Stars play tonight the way they did Tuesday. Aside from Turco being solid in net, the whole team played better than they have in a while. Everyone seemed like they were working really well together and it was a damn good game. Much better than Sunday against Phoenix. The Boyfriend and I went to the Phoenix game and bleh, that was a sad game to sit through. Though we always stay until the very end. I did get some cool pictures during the game that I spammed Twitter with, lol.

Speaking of Twitter, I asked for some questions and said I'd answer 5 of them on my blog today. I got some really good questions. Please don't be offended if I didn't pick yours to answer on here. Especially since I already privately answered the ones I didn't use, lol.

@TonyChliek: If you could do it all over again what one thing would you change? Remember your life will take a 180 if you change anything.

Easy. I wouldn't change anything at all. I realize that changing one thing in the passed could end up changing entirely everything about the present if I had the chance to go back and change something. So, I wouldn't change a thing. Everything I've done up until this point, while sometimes reckless and stupid, has gotten me to where I am today and made me the person I am. I don't regret the way I've lived my life even though I've done some dumb things, illegal things, made poor choice, been human, etc. I don't dwell on mistakes either. I learn from them and move on. I see no point in dwelling or second guessing things that can't be changed.


@zhukov43: if you could have had a time specific career in history what would it have been?

That's a tough one. There are a lot of things I'd dig going back and doing. I'd love to go back and join Amelia Earhart in her journey and adventures.

Perhaps a cook or something in the palace of King Loui XVI and Marie Antoinette. Just so I could creep around and see what was really going down.

Maybe go back to the late 1400's/early 1500's and be an explorer. How could would it have been to do that? I love adventure and I love the unknown. I'm always trying new things and wanting to go and see new places. I would have loved exploration back in a time when everything was so much less developed and so unknown.

I could also go back and stalk William Shakespeare. More so, I wouldn't really want to stalk him. I'd just want to find out if there was ever any truth to the controversy over rumors that he didn't write his own plays. Was he he fraud or were people just haters who wouldn't believe you didn't need a formal education to be able to write beautiful brilliance? I'm sneaky, I'd find that shit out.

That's good on that. I could go on for a long time about things in history I would have like to see or be a part of, lol.


Kevin (asked that his Twitter page not linked): I know you love watching hockey and you certainly understand it and love it so would you ever consider playing?

I did play hockey, actually. I played for several years when I was younger. Mostly it was only guys playing but there were two other girls that played in the league as well. One of my brothers played too, not on the same team. I can't recall if we ever had to play each other though. That was such a fun time in life. I loved it. I still play for fun, just not on a team. I really don't have the time to dedicate to that but it would be fun. Maybe one day. ;)


Josh (asked that his Twitter page not linked): Have you ever been kicked out of a bar or club before?

Yes but never because of something I did. It was always because of someone else that was in the group acting foolish. That hasn't happened in 5 years though. I don't hang out with morons who don't know how to act anymore. =)


Tawny (asked that her Twitter page not linked): What is one event that happened to you that was really hard to overcome?

Being in an armed robbery, having a gun to the back of my head, being surrounded by guys all in black. Having one of them yelling at me, screaming obscenities and threatening to kill me as he waved a gun at me. It was without a doubt, the most scary thing I've ever been through and it changed the way I felt about a lot of things. It changed the way I saw a lot of things. It changed me in a lot of ways. Sadly, not all of those were good changes but still, things changed and I learned to cope with the things that weren't for the better. I went through some really weird phases because I refused to talk about it and I refused to get help. I was so angry at myself because I felt so weak for feeling so scared. I was constantly anxious and on the verge of panic attacks. I was a mess and I was angry at myself for being a mess. It was the hardest thing I've gone through in all honesty. It didn't have to be as hard as I made it. I should have gone to a therapist like people wanted me to but I didn't. I should have talked about it more with someone, especially since I refused to see a therapist. I should have wrote about it. I should have talked about my feelings. I should have done that differently but I didn't and that's just the way it is. I didn't know what to do or how to deal. I was confused, hurting, angry, anxious, scared and pretty much a big fucking mess inside. I don't regret not reaching out more or going to get help though. In not doing that, I learned what I had to do to push myself through and to help myself get passed this. I did talk to my boyfriend about it and I did tell him some of what I was going through so it wasn't like I shut it all in. I had a friend I talked to a little bit as well. Though, I'm not on good terms with that dude anymore but still, he listened and tried to reach out when he wasn't too busy dwelling in his own problems. My boyfriend saw me and knew what a mess I was. He saw the crazy things I was doing like obsessively checking locks on doors and windows and obsessively going to check out what 'that noise was' every time I heard anything at all. And meh, all the other stuff I was doing. He helped me in a lot of ways and it made us closer. Had I not relied on him so much while I tried to work my issues and anxieties out, I'm not sure where I would have been. Had it not been for him, I might have killed myself with alcohol poisoning too since I was drinking more than any human being should ever drink. And having him stick by my while I teetered between working through my issues in a crazy manner and self-destructing? That made me realize that he is an absolutely wonderful guy and that what we had is truly special. I knew he was great but having an epic melt down where you're acting like an irrational, crazy, confused girl quite often or being a crazy bitch or just drowning in booze and having someone there who will stand by you in all of it and not walk away? It made me realize that my previous notion that no long term relationship would ever be worth it was so wrong. It also made me realize that I wasn't this horrible, selfish, meaningless person unworthy of love from someone other than family members.

Did you make it this far? Grab yourself a cookie, lol. This is the longest post I've written in a long time and honestly, it's not that lengthy. I definitely have posts in the archives that make this one seem like a few short paragraphs, lol.

Happy Thursday!

Thumbelina, this isn't a fairy tale...

The lovely folks at TabuToys sent me the Vibratex Thumbelina to try out. I really dig Vibratex toys most of the time so I was happy to see the company name on the toy box. I was also happy to see a pretty purple toy peeking out of the box at me.

I know a lot of people don't want the specifics of the toys in reviews but some people do. I know you can get them off the website that's selling the toy. Blah blah blah. Not everyone wants to go look them up and it's not a big deal to include them. If you don't want the boring details, skip down a little bit and get to the good stuff. =)

Material: Elastomer.

Size: The toy as a whole is 8 1/4" in length but you can only insert 3 1/2" of the toy. An inch in diameter at it's widest point and 4 1/4" in circumference.

Functions: Rotating, vibrating.

Features: Textured, multifunctional, multi-speed, contoured, phthalate-free, built in control pad that doubles as a nifty handle.

What you need: 4 AAA Batteries. (And some lube ;))

When I first opened up the Thumbelina, my immediate reaction was to scrunch up my face and ponder the shape of the toy. I took it and rinsed it off with some warm water and some soap because I never use any toy without cleaning it first. Some people don't do this, some people think it's weird I do it; whatever. I just feel weird not cleaning before using it for some reason, lol.

Thumbelina is a dual action vibrator that not only vibrates but also rotates. It is made out of elastomer and covered with a nubby texture. The shaft begins with a large bulbous head, perfectly angled and ergonomically designed to hit the G-Spot then she tapers down into a slimmer shaft. The nubs are all over the shaft but there is only a single line of nubs around the side of the thick, bulbous head. Due to the softness of the elastomer, you can't really feel the nubs on the shaft/head all that much. Even though the nubs are a rather decent size, they're just too soft to really be felt that well. For anyone who likes to really feel the nubs on their toys, you will probably be disappointed with the lack of sensation the texture on this toy provides.


The clitoral stimulator is also covered in nubs but they're quite a bit larger and thicker than the ones that cover the shaft. There is also a thing at the top of the clitoral stimulator, reminds me of a rhino horn but it's an elastomer prong that buzzes around quite nicely when the toy is turned on. That, as well as the nubs, work quite well on the clitoris. You'll have no problem feeling them against you and since they're so soft, they're not irritating at all.

The handle has a hatch on the bottom that pops open to show the battery housing. There's a little button at the back of the handle that you press in and it easily pops open the hatch door to insert or remove the batteries. My only gripe about that would be that if you hold your thumb at the base of the handle to hold the toy, the button is right there so it's easy to release the hatch door on accident. It all depends on how you hold the toy though. Avoid the button and you'll be fine. There are two sliding controls on the handle. One to control the rotation function and one to control the vibrations. They don't move easily enough that you'll be able to accidentally change settings while you're using it but they're not so firm that you'll have any trouble getting them to move while playing.

The bullet for this toy is inside the clitoral stimulator. It packs a nice little buzz considering this thing runs off AAA batteries. The vibrations travel decently to the head and slim shaft of the toy. Oddly, even though the shaft is closer to the clitoral stimulator, the vibrations are better felt in the head of the toy. Not a complaint honestly. ;)

The shaft and head of the toy can move in a rotating motion. I might like this except honestly I'm a bit too tight to really enjoy the rotations. If I turn the rotation function on, press the head to my clit and let it work circles there, it feels rather nice. Insert the toy and let it rotate though and it doesn't work too well for me. It's not strong enough and pretty much doesn't move around. It also sounds like it's about to break in there on that feature. I thought it might be the toy so I used it in my hand a few times, just making a fist around the toy and it moved around in my fist just fine. So that was a bummer because I have another toy that also rotates and it feels flipping amazing.

The vibrations are pretty nice for something small that runs off AAA batteries. Definitely more of a punch than I was expecting which was a pleasant surprise. The clitoral stimulator, with the vibrations and the textures, feels extremely good. I had the toy inserted, on vibrate and just let the clitoral stimulator work me over for a few minutes. It felt amazing. You can rock the toy back and forth inside you, you can slide it in and out, rock up and down with it; any number of combinations. Though for me, the length doesn't make it very enjoyable for sliding it in and out but I'm sure there are some out there that would be fine with that.

The noise level wasn't bad at all. I had the radio on at a moderate level and it covered up the sound of the vibe. Even without background noise on, it still wasn't that loud. Someone walking by wouldn't have heard it unless they stopped outside the door and were listening. Then they would definitely hear a little something.

To hear the noise level and me showing off the rotation skills this toy has, watch the video. ;)



Sometimes, the smell of a toy just kills me. Luckily, that wasn't the case with this one. I didn't notice any smell at all. And yes, if you're wondering, I held it up to my nose and smelled it after I pulled it out of the packaging. It didn't smell like a damn thing at all. Which is wonderful. Who wants a toy that has a scent that makes you want to gag when you pull it out of the box? Not I.

Cleaning this toy is easy. You have to watch out for the handle/control pack. Like any other toy with batteries that isn't waterproof of splashproof, you have to be mindful of the battery pack. I've been keeping it inside of a velvet pouch when not in use and it doesn't collect lint or anything at all. Which is definitely nice.

So, do I have a gripe about the toy?

Aside from not being able to use the rotation feature, which is no fault of the toy honestly, one thing that bugs me is that if you use both features at the same time, it isn't powerful enough. If you turn on the rotations while it's vibrating, it sucks the vibrations down to a gentle buzz, even if the vibrations are on high and the rotations are on a middle speed. That's a bummer in my opinion. Though, since I can't use the rotation feature once inserted, it's not too big of an issue personally. For someone else who may not have the same issue, it might be a real turn off for the toy though.

As I already said, the nubs on the shaft and head are a bummer too. If the texture on the shaft and head were like the thicker, larger nubs on the clitoral stimulator, ohmywow would that be awesome. As is though, they might as well not even be there.

Thumbelina is a fun toy but since I can't fully use it the way it's intended, I probably won't be using it very often.