The Stars play again tonight against St. Louis. And and and... the game will be on network TV so I'll get to watch it on the television instead of watching it on my laptop via a semi-decent live game feed online. Not that I mind watching online because hey, it works and I don't have to miss the majority of the Stars games but watching on a bigger screen with a more clear picture is always better. Hooray. =)
Okay moving on from the sports stuff...
These are not text messages from me or my friends. They're texts off the website Texts From Last Night. I was bored yesterday, decided to browse that website and pull off some of the ones that made me chuckle then compile them into a blog post. I wasn't bored enough to do it for very long, though, lol.
(214): new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5. (note: this is one of the most amusing ones that I've seen from a Dallas area code, lol.)
(518): you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
(225): Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
(614): halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
(314): I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
(636): A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
(760): She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
(814): dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
(605): I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
(313): Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
(256): Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
(260): Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Have a great weekend, y'all!
5 comments:
bwhahahahhaha
those texts were funny.
I don't know what a tortellini is but I want to eat some now!
hey 518! that's my area code :D
heh heh making tortellini salad for a cook out today. MUHAHAHAHAHA!
Omg the texts were great! Though my favorite:
"(814): dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out."
HAHAHAHAH I know people like this!
I love the TFLN. They crack me up!
I LOVE texts from last night. I used to read it religiously every morning. It's what I aspire my texts to be!
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