Showing posts with label passion. Show all posts
Showing posts with label passion. Show all posts

Friday, May 27, 2016

"Music doesn't have to be so fucking dramatic."

Words I heard from someone today: "I hate how people make music such a dramatic thing, it's just music you don't have to attach so much meaning and drama to a fucking song. You can just listen to it and enjoy the artistry without making it a big, emotional deal."

That's definitely not the first time I've heard or directly been told that, either. To that, I say....

Yes, yes you can JUST ENJOY MUSIC as is without attaching any meaning or emotions to it. Some songs, that's all I do. Ellie Goulding's "Lights", Billy Joel's "The River of Dreams" and Opeth's "The Grand Conjuration" are three of my favorite songs to just listen to and enjoy. They're all very different songs about vastly different things and I just enjoy them.

Then there are other songs that do inspire emotional reactions.

I cannot bring myself to listen to Linkin Park's "My December" because it reminds me of a friend that died in a car crash caused by a drunk driver. We listened to that song so many times because she loved to hear me sing along with it and she also loved the song. The first time I heard it after she died, I had to pull the car over because I completely lost my composure and sat in a gas station parking lot sobbing for 10 minutes. All I could think about was her and how ironically she'd said a few weeks before she died that she wanted to get some of the lyrics from that song tattooed on her arm as a graduation gift because she was going to get through nursing school despite the dozens of obstacles in her way. I remember how she had laughed and said she had better live a long damn laugh after all the years she's spent in school and all the hard work it took to finish highschool and get through nursing school all while raising a beautiful baby girl. I remembered how her face lit up when she listened to me sing that song fir the first time. She said I put all the right emotions into the words that she felt the most and that made her feel better about everything because it made her realize she wasn't so alone because we were both lost and struggling with the same things in different circumstances. I still get a little sad and miss her whenever I stumble across that song so I skip passed it and don't listen to it.

I can't listen to another song, one by a band I absolutely love, because that was the song an ex boyfriend had on loop the night I found him on his bathroom floor covered in blood because he had tried to kill himself. I had to unplug his boombox to get that song to stop playing because it was stuck on repeat and I couldn't change it. I hear that song and it reminds me of that because that's an incredibly vivid memory I have involving the song and that's not something I want to think about or relive in my mind again.

I get that some people would think it's ridiculous to refuse to listen to a song because of memories it brings up or because of emotions it evokes. I get that some people don't connect the dots between music and moments. That some people don't involved emotion with the music. I get that for some people music is just noise to fill the silence. I'm not one of those people.

It's not even just connecting with the words of a song. Sometimes I hear a guitar solo on a blues guitar that fills me with so much joy that I feel like my chest might explode. Or I'll hear someone play something on a piano that's so beautiful and soulful that I end up filled with the emotion the artist is channeling into their music. Sometimes when I play piano, it's for fun. Sometimes it's because I need to express something but I can't find the words so I let my fingers dance across the keys until I feel better.

For me, music is a lot of things. It is fun and enjoyable and doesn't always have a lot of meaning in it. Then sometimes I hear a song that so beautifully articulates thoughts or feelings I have or an experience I'm going through or have gone through and it becomes an emotional thing for me. Sometimes I can't find the right words to express how I feel but then there's a song that expresses it all perfectly and I feel connected to that song. Even if it's someone I'll never meet, hearing words that I relate to so personally helps me feel less alone in any given situation. Which has helped me feel like I could keep going more times than I can count. I'm incredibly passionate about music so it's next to impossible to just leave my emotions at the door sometimes. 

So, when someone tells me I need to "stop being so dramatic" about music and "just enjoy it", I can't help but laugh a little bit.

Monday, August 31, 2015

It's Never "Just Music" For Me.

"It's just music" is a phrase that has never made sense to me. I never really find myself able to relate when people don't really care about music or don't get anything out of it. When I meet someone who cares zero about music and rarely to never spends time listening to anything, I feel confusion mote often than not. People that say it's "just music" don't usually understand why a song or lyrics or a piece of beautiful instrumental noise leaves me feeling anywhere from elated to heavy-hearted and everywhere in between.

To me, music is more to me than noise I hear with my ears. I love music. I'd rather listen to music or play something over watching TV. I'm passionate about music. I feel it with every fiber of my being. I get lost in it. It fills my ears and head and I let my mind and soul absorb it. It's beautiful, it's sad, it's life, it's love, it's calming, it's adrenaline pumping.

Music is soothing.

Music is passion.

Music is emotion.

Music is escape.

Music is poetry.

Music is therapeutic.

Music is life.

There is very little I love more than going to a live show and feeling the music physically shake me to my core as the words sink into my soul. Or if there are no words, letting the music wash over me, engaging my senses.

A drum solo gets my heart pounding and my blood moving. I feel so alive. I feel like I could run up a wall. I bounce on the balls of my feet as it builds and feel like I might burst at the seams with energy as it hits the finishing point.

The beauty in hearing classical piano or violin calms me when I'm feeling everything but calm. It can soothe anxiety, calm stress, help me relax, send rest, push the noise out and bring contentment.

A guitar solo can be exhilarating and make me feel like I can conquer anything. Or it can give me an outlet and work like a sieve, filtering out anger and angst and things I need to push out.

Loud rock music is often so therapeutic for me. Loud guitars, heavy drums, words screaming out at me that make me feel comfort and bring me out of my own head.

Music is love, happiness, sadness, anger, contentment, joy, angst, passion, loss, betrayal, comforting, exciting, calming and so many other things.

Music makes me react physically, emotionally and mentally.

It fills my ears and perforates my mind.

It invades my thoughts, attaches to memories, creates feelings, collides with emotions already present.

Music recognizes the thoughts and emotions that I can't find the words to express.

It's an escape when I need it to be and offers clarity at times.

It makes me feel things.

It makes me stop feeling things.

It's overwhelming and just enough.

It's a lot of things to me but it's definitely never just music.