A place where I let some of the things running around my mind out to play.
Sexuality, sports, baking, random nonsense, mental health and whatever else I feel compelled to write about.
I am not a fashionable girl. I don't ever follow trends. I don't read fashion magazines or websites. I just wear what I like and if it's not fashionable, I don't give a fuck. I like to wear what I want. I have to be happy with my clothes and I have to feel good in them. I couldn't care less what anyone else thinks about the way I dress. I care about how I feel and care about my level of comfort. I don't dress for anyone but myself.
My accessories are the same way. I don't care if I look like a hot mess to someone else, if I'm happy with my look and feel comfortable myself, that's all I concern myself with.
I don't have a particular look I go with. I wear a lot of black just because I really like black. I wear a lot of really dark colors in general but I have several accessories that are bright vibrant colors.
Sometimes I wear goofy things that don't match anything. One of my favorite things to wear are the plastic toy rings that you can find topping grocery store cupcakes. My favorite ones are the dinosaur rings displayed below. Pretty neat, huh? I like them anyway.
Who can guess which of these 3 rings is my favorite? =o)
I had a review written up for today but something happened and I suppose Blogger ate it. It was a pretty good review, if I do say so myself. It had a nice, sexy little intro before the real review part started. It's late and I must sleep. So tonight, I'll re-write it. I should have written the review in Word first but I didn't so oh well.
Boyfriend cooked barbecue chicken sandwiches for dinner last night. So freaking tasty. I love chicken. I wouldn't ever want to be a vegetarian because I love chicken. I could live without red meat and I don't eat pork anyway. Chicken though? Mmmm.
I really want a Chipotle burrito. I've been craving Chipotle the last few days. I love their food. Bowls, burritos, whatever because it's all good to me. I'm not spending any money on things I don't absolutely need until I get a job though.
I have a Twitter. Do you have a Twitter? I keep my updates locked so you have to have an account to see what I'm rambling and ranting about over there. I don't want people making up fake accounts to read my updates under false pretenses. If a former friend of mine wants access to my updates, he can make a real account stating who he really is instead of making up a fake one. Same goes for other people, lol. I don't mind letting the real life people who know about my blog in on shit, just don't make up a fake profile and try to weasel in under a false pretense. ;)
Thanks so much for all the comments, e-mails and tweets about yesterday's post regarding my moving, my fears and my emotions. I appreciate all the responses I got from that, y'all are swell. ;)
Oh and last but not least...
There are only TWO DAYS left to enter this contest so if you're interested... get to it!
Rules for Isabella Snow's July blog makeover contest! Entering is easy! Just copy and paste this (entire) blurb to your blog (make sure the links still work!) and then email Isabella a link to your blog post. The contest deadline is at midnight GMT July 31. One winner will be selected the following day by a drawing of names; the name will be posted here; and the winner will be emailed, as well. A new, totally original blog will be completed within two weeks of winning. One entry per blog. *Blogger.com customization only*, see the Blogbunnie Blog Design portfolio for layout options.
Now, I'm off to get some sleep. I have job hunting to do tomorrow so I (hopefully) won't stay a broke ass bitch for too long. Lol. Oh and come back tomorrow to check out the review will ya? ;)
I wrote a post on July 10TH about how miserable I've been for the last several months. It was the first and only time I had admitted on my blog about how I was feeling and I don't regret writing that post at all. I've been horribly unhappy and if you read the post, you know why and you know what was keeping me from fixing my situation. If not, check out that post, I explain it there.
So, I'm sitting here typing this out from my new bedroom back in Texas. Yeah, you read that right. Actually, it's my fantastic boyfriend's bedroom which I now happen to live in and take up space in.
I decided Thursday night that I just couldn't stand it anymore. I didn't have enough money saved up though. In my mind, leaving was a bad decision. I didn't have a job waiting for me in Texas. I had a decent enough job in CA. I needed quite a bit of money saved up. I wasn't close to what I wanted to be optimistic about my financial situation but I had enough to get home with my stuff and sit for a couple months and be okay. Logically though, it would have been smarter to tough it out a few more months and save up more money. In my head, I had all sorts of good and valid points that made so much sense. Not just to me, also to the people I was talking with about it.
In my heart, I didn't want to stay any longer. Having money wasn't enough. I just didn't care about saving more money if I was going to be absolutely unhappy as fuck in the process. Life is too damn short to spend month after month a sad, lonely, depressed, emotional mess. So, I listened to my heart and I started packing up everything I owned on Friday.
We (family) have moved over 20 times in the 24 years that I've been alive. In moving so much, I got to where I didn't have a lot of stuff. It was too annoying to pack up and move around a lot of junk so I condensed it down. After I had everything I owned packed it came out to 5 suitcases, 4 boxes that I shipped off via USPS (because they were the cheapest option actually) a few loose odds/ends, 3 pillows and 1 over stuffed backpack.
We loaded up the car. Added an ice chest full of bottled water and Red Bull and off we were. By we, I mean my boyfriend and a guy friend who had flown out to visit. Then he just used some of his vacation time to come on this little road trip with my boyfriend and myself to get me back home to Texas.
I decided so last minute that it would have been unfair to most employers. Except, the supervisor/owner of my job (well, now previous job) happens to be my dad whom was hoping that I would make the decision to leave, to go back home to Texas and be happy. So when he found out, he wasn't mad and already had my weekend shifts covered. Yeah, my dad is awesome. The GM there was happy for me and wished me the best then spent 20 minutes just rambling on. He's a cool guy and I really did enjoy working for him. For the most part.
During packing, I felt a little anxious. The anxiety fell away the more I packed and I got excited. I'd think about the money, more so the lack of it, then I'd feel a bit anxious again. Nothing enough to make me change my mind and stay though.
During the drive, I stressed a little about money and the lack of employment. I was nervous and scared as hell that I'd made a mistake. In New Mexico, I had a minor panic attack and then got calm. I made the drive out of NM and on into Texas. By the time I crossed the TX border, I was so giddy and fucking excited that I knew I'd made the right decision. Albeit, I was still worried and scared about the uncertainty of things but fuck it. Like I said, life is too short to be a miserable mess. I can fix monetary issues easier than I can fix my mental and emotional well being.
We got in late Sunday night. We brought in all my stuff, piled it in a corner of Boyfriend's bedroom and then we passed the fuck out. We woke up Monday and started handling the cleaning and organizing of the bedroom. I got some snazzy room organizing stuff for Target that was thankfully on sale so I didn't have to spend a lot. We got everything unpacked and put away. I even got half of his closet to put my clothes in. This will sound a little odd but because of the minor instability of moving around so much, I haven't had my own bedroom with my own closet in a few years. It felt a little weird to have a place to hang my clothes but it was awesome. I had spent a year in California, sleeping in a living room. I didn't mind it but the lack of privacy sucked. I didn't complain much though. It was what it was and I try my best to make the best of situations.
I'm already a little happier than I have been in a long time. Even though my brain wants to argue with my heart that I wasn't smart enough about the situation, I don't really care. I feel in my gut that I did the right thing for me. I'll take happiness and a some stress over having virtually no stress but being a moody, lonely, depressed, emotionally fucked bitch. I still have some things to sort out and I'm a little scared and worried about money, the job situation and some other things but it's nothing I can't handle. I'll be a broke ass bitch for now but I'm confident I'll find a job soon enough and hopefully monetary issues will be okay until then.
You know, there are a few things that will nicely perk up a normal boring Monday morning. One of those things is to open your front door to find someone delivering you a package and then opening the package to find a new sex toy inside. One just for you, waiting for you to release it from it's packaging and take it for it's first of hopefully many test rides.
Me personally, I'm not a morning person. I've worked since I was a young teenager and my jobs have always had me getting off work late at night. So for someone who is used to getting off work anywhere between midnight and three am combined with the fact that I'm a night owl by habit and lifestyle... I'm just not a big morning person. When I received the King of Victory vibrator early Monday morning courtesy of the awesome people at EdenFantasys, my mood improved considerably. Of course, it also caused me to delay my tasks for the morning but oh well. Some things in life can just be put on hold to have some fun. ;)
The King of Victory came packaged very nicely. It was in a lovely black box and even came with the 2AAA batteries needed to operate it. I've never even heard of this particular company but they definitely get points for the sleek and classy presentation. I hate tacky packaging.
I was also a little impressed with the fact that it came with an actual instruction booklet. Not that I really needed one but I liked seeing it. I was also impressed with the fact that the little booklet was in English and then 7 other languages. That was pretty cool. The instruction booklet also offers an e-mail address to email the company for any questions, comments, suggestions, etc.
The toy comes with three interchangeable attachments. One is smooth, one is spiky and of course, the third is the cute looking crown. All three attachments are made of silicone. The end is also mostly silicone. The body of the toy is a hard plastic with a silicone coating to give it that smooth, soft feel that I love in silicone toys. You get the firm non pliable hardness of the plastic but instead of the cold, slick plastic feeling you get soft and smooth silicone. I liked that. My biggest issue with hard plastic toys is I hate how fake they feel. I don't like that slick feeling plastic toys get. I know I'm not getting "the real thing" when I'm using a vibrator but I don't want to feel like I'm shoving plastic in and out of my pussy either.
At the end of the toy, there is a little sunk in part and that is where you turn the toy on or off. Click, the toy is on. Another click, it's back off. Easy one push power. Now, it says it is a multi-speed toy but for the life of me, I couldn't figure out how in the hell to change the speed. I tried every way I could think of and nothing. I sent an e-mail off to find out about that and I'll update the review when I get a response back about that. Something I like about the end, that sunk in notch is convenient for getting a good grip on the toy. Hold your thumb in there and voila, makes holding on a bit easier and gives better angle control.
I found for me personally, this was the best way to hold on and keep a good grip while using the toy. It helped give me the most control over the toy more so than any other angle I tried to grip it at. This toy id easy to hold on to and fits easily and comfortably in the hand. It's not too big, not too wide but not delicate and small either. It's easy to get a good hold on it. I did have an issue with the end silicone piece. It popped off while I was using it and I had to quickly grab the end of the toy and remove it to snap the silicone piece back into place. I pressed it very firmly in and then fussed with it a bit after that but didn't have an issue after that one time.
The King has a slight curve toward the head of the toy which allows for super easy g-spot stimulation. The vibrations are felt throughout the entire toy. It only has the one speed and that was a little bit of a bummer. Unless there is some magic way to make the multi-speeds come to life that I couldn't figure out, lol. Though I'm almost certain that was probably a misprint or something. Again, I'll let you know as soon as the company responds to my email. As far as the vibrations, while they do radiate through the whole toy, I would have liked a stronger vibration. It was a bit lacking for my preference but still, not bad. Just a little on the weak side for me personally. The smooth head was my favorite. I used it for clitoral stimulation and it felt quite nice pressed against and working around the clit. For penetration it was nice as well. Rocking the toy back and forth inside my pussy was great. The curve towards the head plus the vibrations made for a very good time against my g-spot. Though I do wish the vibes would have been a little stronger or having multiple settings to switch through would have been nice.
The crown head felt good for clitoral stimulation. You can feel enough of the vibration in the crown and the tips of the crown feel very nice. For actual penetration, it was just annoying. I didn't like using it inside me at all and wouldn't use it for penetration again.
The spiked head wasn't pleasurable at all for me. It was actually a little painful at first. I don't normally mind a little bit of pain but honestly, there wasn't any pleasure at all in that head for me. It was a little painful at first and then just extremely annoying no matter where I used it at. The spikes are a bit too abrasive for my liking. Which was disappointing because I was hoping that one would be more fun. Maybe if the spikes were softer or something.
The attachments were a little of a pain in the ass to get off at first but after rotating through them a few times, they were a little easier to remove with a few firm tugs. Getting them on was easy from the get go. They go on much easier than they come off but that's a good thing in my opinion. If they came off extremely easy, I'd be a bit wary about using it for fear that they would come off inside of me.
The packaging said it could be used for anal play and I did think about using it in that manner. It's 5 1/4" insertable length, 4" circumference and 1 1/4" in diameter so the size wasn't intimidating but after thinking on it, I did not try this toy for anal play. I'll be honest, I was a bit worried about the heads coming off. They didn't slip one bit inside me but it was just something I was worried about and didn't want to chance. Call it an irrational fear perhaps but I'm not comfortable using a toy with small interchangeable heads for anal pleasure. Definitely not something I want to go to the ER for, lol. Also, even though I didn't have any trouble out of the end silicone piece popping off after the first time, I didn't want to chance that it would happen during anal play. A tighter space with more pressure being applied and meh, it could have happened and that wouldn't have been pleasant. Call me paranoid but I definitely didn't want to risk the toy taking a rectal vacation, lol.
I also found the toy to be a little on the noisy side. This short video was taken while I was using the toy. This is the sounds of it while I had the toy inside me. Given the noise it made, I was expecting stronger vibrations than what it had to offer.
I like silicone because it's nonporous and super easy to clean but the seams of this toy make it a little difficult to fully clean and sterilize. The attachment heads were the easiest parts to clean since they're solely silicone.
All in all, I don't think I'll use it much honestly. I really would have liked if it had the multiple speeds it advertised having. The smooth head attachment is the only one I completely enjoyed in every way I used it. The crown one was fun for clitoral stimulation and for teasing my nipples but wasn't fun for penetration.
I did like using it just for the sole use of teasing my clitoral area. While it does nice at hitting the g-spot and the vibes aren't bad, just not as strong as I would like.
The noise also turns me off a bit. I don't expect to not hear any kind of noise at all but I like something a little more quiet. I don't live alone and don't want people walking by and wondering if I've got a mini power tool in there with me. I also don't want it to be so loud that I'm distracted by the noise in any way.
I don't think it's a shitty toy though. The silicone feels wonderful and I think the toy is good quality. I would definitely be willing to get another toy from this company and try it to see if I have a better experience. I even browsed their products and saw a few I wanted to try. I can think of a number of people I think would greatly enjoy this toy and I wouldn't warn people off from buying it but for me, I wasn't doing any victory dances after using it.
Thanks to the awesome people at EdenFantasys for letting me put the King to the test. =o)
I love grocery shopping. Normally. I like grocery shopping late at night or really early in the morning. Any other time? When there are a good bit of people or a lot of people in there shopping too? I don't like it so much. I end up wanting to grab a bunch of grapes and sitting them up in the front of the shopping cart. Then whenever someone is being rude, I want to run them down with my shopping cart and then pelt them with grapes as I dance by with my shopping cart giggling gleefully. Or possibly I'll be laughing maniacally. ;) Seriously. There's no reason for people to be so fucking rude. Everyone has stressful days. Everyone has bad days. Everyone wakes up on the wrong side of the bed now and then. Everyone has to do something they hate but can't avoid because it's necessary; which for some is grocery shopping. No need to be a pain in the ass, rude motherfucker or outright snotty bitch to other random people just trying to buy their groceries as well. I know, some people are just bitches and rude snotty fuckheads by nature. They can't help it, that's the way they are, blah blah blah. So yeah, if you're ever grocery shopping one day and some chick with big boobs rams you with her shopping cart and then pelts you with grapes well laughing maniacally.... you'll know who it was and you won't have to wonder why. Granted, it'll probably put that person in a worse mood but oh well... chill the fuck out and stop taking out your moods and emotions on random people.
I'm still not done with the Laurell K. Hamilton book. I got "Skin Trade" shortly after it came out but every single time I sit down to read some, something happens. Then I have to put the book down and do other stuff. Then I forget and then remember later. Then I pick it up to read. Then the power goes out. Fuck man. Then I pick it up again, then it's time to head out because I forgot we were going to a birthday dinner because I was more concerned with my book and finding out if some sack of shit gets his throat torn out or now. Then I think about reading again but then my Nintendo DS sends out it's mind control vibes and I pick it up instead. Then I end up playing that for an hour or two because it's addicting and soul sucking and I can't stop easily once I start. Then I think about the book again and I pick it up. I'm reading along and all of the sudden, my eyelids are drooping low and pretty much refusing to stay open. What's that? Sleep you say? Now I've read 3 pages and I'm pushing to get at least one chapter done so I force my eyes open and press on. I wake up a little while later with the book sitting in the floor, my page lost and me giving up so I can go back to sleep for real this time. I'm dying to flippin' finish it, lol. I only have 82 pages left to go though so my goal is to have it finished before I go to bed tonight. Wish me luck! Lol.
Little known fact about my musical tastes? I LOVE the Red Hot Chili Peppers. I don't mention them a lot for whatever reason, I don't know why honestly. So so many of their songs just speak to me in a lot of ways. I can relate to a lot of the lyrics and I like how they have a sound all their own. Though, I used to not like them and then I started doing drugs and they were good music to sit and listen to when you're sick of listening to Sublime and want something chill to listen to, lol. I stopped doing drugs and still kept liking their music though. Anyway, here are two of my favorite songs by them.
So lately, Ive sucked at poting. I've wanted to write. Had things I wanted to post about. I just haven't had the free time and haven't been in the mood to sit down at my laptop. I've done lots of cleaning and organizing the last couple days. Not so fun, lol. Also, I've been reading "Skin Trade" by Laurell K Hamilton. I fucking love her books. I'm almost done with this one abd have a graphic novel by her to start on next. I love books. *grin*
I've also been watching Two And A Half Men on DVD a lot. I started on season one, even though I had seen most of the episodes. I dig the functionally dysfunctional relationships between all the characters.
My allergies are killing me lately. Dear allergies, fuck off and leave me alone. Thanks.
I've been craving lemon cupcakes lately. Too bad I don't bake, lol. I can cook just fine but baking? Not so much.
Okay, I have a question for the masses. I was wondering how many of my readers found my blog. Stumbled from another blog? A search engine? How did you find my little spot on the net and how long have you been stopping by? Lurkers feel free to chime in as well.
I smell really good right now. I just showered about half an hour ago. Between the raspberry vanilla body wash I used and the nice smelling lotion I used on my freshly waxed legs, I smeel really good, lol. I love how good the bathroom smells after a shower too. Just that clean and fragrant smell of soaps and shampoo. Mm.
I love when something fits *just right* and you just feel good wearing it. I have on these hipster undies that have a penguin and arctic scene on the ass that say "chill out" on the front. These fit so well. I feel comfy and sexy in them. The sexy comes from my boyfriend telling me how he loves the way they form perfectly over my ass. when he sees me in them, he gets this devilish grin...
I spent several hours cleaning and organizing yesterday. I also put together some furniture. More so, a media shelf unit that holds dvds and such. It was a pain in the fucking ass to assemble but it looks good.
I love working with my hands, even if it's just assembling junk, lol.
I feel really productive while cleaning and organizing but I get a little annoyed when the tasks take hours upon hours.
Rum and coke makes that annoyance go away.
Also, rum and coke makes cleaning and organizing much more fun.
I love rum.
I'm sending this in via email. An email I'm using my cell to send. I love having a full qwerty keyboard on my cell and love having unlimited media usage.
I could use my laptop but I'm laying in bed, halfass watching Invincible, and don't want to get up.
Also, due to all the cleaning and organizing I'm not sure exactly where my laptop's charger is at, lol.
I really want some orange juice right now. That would require a trip to the store. I don't plan on making that trip anytime soon. Don't you hate when you get a big craving for something but then don't have it available readily and don't want to run right out that second to get it? Yep yep.
Okay, now I'm tired of typing on my cell, lol. Back to Mark Wahlberg and then maybe off for some orange juice.
One of the things that many people who like my blog have all said they enjoy, admire and respect about me and the way I write is how open and bluntly honest I am. I admit, I'm like that in my real life which tends to leave people thinking I'm a bit abrupt or just a flat out bitch. That's just how I am. So let me be open and very honest right now.
I'm miserable. I have been for more months than I can count. I go to work and I do nothing else. My boyfriend, my friends and the rest of my family are all back home in Dallas, TX. I'm in Northern California. I came out here for personal reasons. The reasons I came out here ended up not working out, not panning out and not happening. I wanted to leave months ago but moving to different states is expensive. Granted, I've moved a lot and don't have a lot of things but just because I don't have a lot doesn't make moving back home that much cheaper. So my biggest obstacle has been having money to get me and my things back home to Texas. Having enough money to sit on while I look for a job so I don't go without any of the vital things I actually need. You know, just in case it takes me longer than I would like to find a decent job.
So I've been saving away money as best as I could and waiting to have enough to be able to move myself back home. It seemed like a goal I would never reached. A reality that completely bummed me out and put me down ever more than I already have been. I'm not a girl that cries a lot. Sad movies don't get to me. Stress doesn't make me cry. Most pain doesn't bring me to tears. I don't cry over much of anything usually. The sadness, the longing to be out of here, the loneliness of being away from my guy, the isolation of not having friends here to go hang out with and the desperate want to go home were all weighing on me so much. I cried so many nights into my pillow, letting out some of the sadness and other negative feelings. It didn't help. No matter how much I cried, I was still hurting. Still frustrated about having to wait so long. I have my mom, dad and three younger siblings around and being here with them did help. I had people who love me around and that made it a little easier but I still felt miserable. Still feel miserable. I do my best to keep it in check and not let it show how bad I feel but I'm sure I can't keep it hidden 100% all of the time. I know there are times when it shows and at those times, I couldn't care less who sees that I'm sad and hurting. Which isn't like me because I hate people seeing me like that. I hate feeling like that. It makes me feel vulnerable and weak but fuck, I'm only human and who doesn't feel like that at times?
Part of the reason I wrote this was because it was just tiring to find something to write about on here that was upbeat. I didn't want to write about how miserable I felt and bitch about things all the time. I didn't want my blog to become one big cry baby thing. I also didn't want to put myself out there like that, so openly to so many. So some days I just posted short posts about things that were good. To keep things positive and also to remind myself that things weren't that bad for me no matter how bad I felt. When days where I wouldn't let myself see that bit of wisdom, I didn't post shit and didn't talk much to anyone.
Feeling the way I did started weighing in on work. There would be nights at work where I would go all night only saying what needed to be said. Smiling a fake ass smile along with some fake ass banter for the customers I dealt was serving. My co-workers didn't get the smile or the banter. They got silence and when asked, a simple "I don't want to talk about it but thanks." Or something shorter. I got to where some days, I hated going in to work because I hated being there. I kept going though because I needed the money. I couldn't lose my job when I didn't have any money saved up or I'd be fucked. So I sucked it up like a big kid and kept going to work and learned to curve my bad moods even more. Which I hated doing but there was no sense making other people miserable for no reason.
I tried to not let it show at home because I didn't want to make my family miserable. Though, some days I know I failed. I felt guilty later for those days. I felt like shit for being shitty towards my family just because I felt so down in the dumps. I tried not to let it show though and a lot of days, I didn't speak much to my family either. If I knew I couldn't control my tone of voice and couldn't better control my responses, I just wouldn't say much. Again, no need to make other people feel like shit just because I do.
So, I'm sitting here, writing this. I'm not asking for any help because I know what I need to do and I know how to do it. I've talked this over with several people, in real life and people from the blogosphere. It just requires some patience, which thankfully I've learned to have a decent amount of. Don't think that any and every idea possible hasn't been thought of and tried out either. Between me and the people I've discussed with, we've come up with every logical and every ridiculous plan we could think of, lol. In the end, it comes down to patience and doing it the simplest way. The hard part has been the waiting it out.
Yesterday the boyfriend and I went to a park to hang out by the river. Nothing special. Just out of the house, enjoying the nice weather. It was actually below 110+ and there was a nice breeze. The sun was shining and it was an all around nice day outside. So we went and found a nice spot along the river bank with good sized rocks that were flat enough to sit on comfortably.
We found said spot and settled down onto some rocks. Sitting on the rock, I had my legs dangling off the edge and my feet were able to splash in the water. I decided the water was a little too cold for my liking so I kept my feet mostly out of the water.
This shot is to the left of me and slightly a bit behind me. A bit of the riverbank and some of the rocks that were both partially and fully submerged in water. We were a little bit more out into the water than the rock in the bottom right hand corner was.
We weren't doing anything in particular. Just sitting there, enjoying the cool breeze off the river. Chatting, watching boats and kayaks go by. A little jealous we didn't have our own kayak to go travel around the river in. We had some ducks come up next to us. They had been sleeping for a bit, then swam a bit, then came over and climbed up onto some rocks to the right of my boyfriend. Pardon my boyfriend's thigh there, lol. I leaned over him quickly to get the shot hoping they didn't hustle back into the water quickly.
They weren't in much of a rush to go anywhere it seems. They poked around over there for a couple minutes, with me trying to quietly angle around my boyfriend and snap shots of them without scaring them away.
They didn't go anywhere right away. One moved a bit further up the embankment like it would be going up to the solid grassy land. I moved a little with it to see if I could get a shot of it and I did.
I guess the grass and dirt wasn't so appealing after all since the little duckys decided to get back down into the water before ever making a full trip up the embankment to the park. Not that I blame them.
Yeah, I love ducks. In case you couldn't tell by the amount of pictures I just posted. They are one of my favorite animals. Not sure why really. They aren't particularly beautiful or striking creatures. I've just always loved ducks though.
Awww. I'm sure you can guess which foot belongs to whom. And yeah, I have on seriously wide leg jeans. They're not bell bottoms or anything. Just very wide leg and a big opening. I like baggy jeans when I'm just relaxing or having fun outside.
Those are my absolute favorite pair of jeans. They have baggy legs but through they fit my waist and butt just perfectly. They're so damn comfy too. I could almost sleep in the damn things if I could sleep in pants. I can't even sleep in pajama bottom pants though so... Lol. I'll be sad the day those jeans right there can't be worn anymore.
I'm going to make a confession right here, right now. Okay, so maybe not right now this second but it's coming up. This is something I have never told anyone before. Not a soul. No my best friends, not the love of my life. Not even my imaginary friends.
Sure, I make this sound scandalous but really, it's not.
Ready?
When I was a little kid, I used to want to do commercials. For cereal. Chips. Fabric softener. Pretty much anything. I would take clothes out of the dryer and then act out commercials I had seen where they were snuggling their warm, super soft freshly softened and nicely scented blankets. I would recall lines from the commercial and think them as I pulled the clothes out and imagine myself in the commercial. Or I would sit there, eating a bowl of cereal and think about a cereal commercial I had seen. Even if I wasn't eating the particular cereal from the commercial, I would pretend I was and sit there thinking about being in the commercial. I practiced my cheesy cereal box grin and my fake over excited mannerisms while eating my cereal and pondering about how I would deliver my lines. I think that went on for about six months. I was really young and I thought doing commercials would be pretty much the coolest thing ever.
Of course, the thing that wore off the want to do commercials happened at school. We had fire fighters and a fire truck come to school one day at the private school I was at. They talked to us and told us stories. We got to play in their gear and check out the fire truck and some other cool shit. So after that, being a fire fighter was way more appealing than doing some stupid television commercial.
I don't know what made me think of the many months at my young age where I would think up commercials and day dream about being in them. That's a memory that hasn't been thought of in YEARS but for some reason, I remembered it yesterday. Last night, Boyfriend and I went to the store and got supplies to make S'Mores and got a board game to play with YB. We played the game for about an hour and then we set out for the S'More making. I was standing there with YB, toasting my marshmallow and then the memory hit me. It was a little strange. I wasn't thinking about anything particular at all but there I was, toasting a marshmallow over the flames and BAM! I remembered that span of months where all I wanted to do was be in commercials.
Now you couldn't get me on TV without a huge sum of money being involved and it definitely wouldn't be doing any crap reality show. I just wouldn't want to be on any show honestly. ;)
Anyway.
Apparently, I cuss too much. I actually don't cuss as much as I used to anymore. It's just something I do less of but when I get animated, heated or in any state where I'm letting a lot of emotion flow... it happens more than normal. I had some bot on Twitter pick out something I tweeted and I got the standard "Potty Mouth Alert" tweeted to me with my name on it. You know, so people would know I have a "potty mouth" and to stay away from me and my filthy tongue. I joked about it but then someone who follows me on Twitter replied back hours later in a private message saying that I did have a "potty mouth" and that I needed to "work on that." Of course, I responded, politely and without cuss words basically telling that person I didn't see a need to work on that. They replied back with a little snark. I remained polite. The next day, we caught each other on Google chat and Person felt it was needed to talk to me again about my "potty mouth" to which I requested the subject get dropped. Person went on a mini little tirade about it and so then my response to each thing had me cussing a lot and not really giving an articulate and mature response. Given that I felt the conversation was ridiculous and also pointless. Hello, do you not see the disclaimer icon on my blog? I clearly state that I say FUCK, CUNT, SHIT, BITCH, ASS, WHORE and a plethora of naughty, dirty and some times vulgar words. ;) Anyway, the last of the "conversation" went like this.
Person: "MY POINT IS THIS! Stop cursing, it's a dirty habit. Do you kiss your boyfriend with that dirty mouth?"
Me: "Cussing is so not the dirtiest thing I do with my mouth."
Person: "Oh ugh. Come now and answer me, you kiss your man with that dirty mouth? It's not lady like to talk that way!"
Me: "I kiss my boyfriend after his cock has been in my mouth. You think cussing is more dirty than that?"
Person: "That... I... Wow. I do not know what to say to that. I don't think 'lady like' is a term that would ever apply to you."
Me: "Nope, it sure fucking isn't. *grin*"
Person: "I think I am wasting my time here."
Me: "Definitely. Now, will you please drop this bullshit like I asked already?"
Person: "Could you ask in a polite manner?"
Me: "I SAID PLEASE. Sheesh."
Person: "::shakes head:: You had to have been a man in another life."
Me: "More than likely. Look, you don't have to talk to me and you don't have to read my blog or follow me on Twitter. If you don't like the way I say what I say, then too damn bad. I'm not changing that for you or anyone else."
Then we had a mini debate about how Person really likes my blog and finds me overall amusing but just doesn't prefer the language I use. Again, I say that's too bad. I write what I want how I want and you can either take it or leave it. I don't mind either way honestly. "I've got a bad mouth but I do good things with it."
I'm already thinking about what to post about tomorrow. I've sucked at updating lately due to lack of time spent online. Due to being busy spending all my time at work and hanging out with my guy before he leaves. Also due to the internet sucking huge ape balls and not working most of the time when I'm actually home. So I have much I want to post about. What to do for tomorrow. Sex stuff? Tits? Dreams? Cotton candy rant? More memories? Boohooing about Boyfriend leaving Friday? Work stories? Bitching? Pictures? Hypothetical scenarios? Hmm.. So many choices.
Last but not least...
This song is pretty much one of my favorite Metallica songs. I love it. I've also had it stuck in my head for several days now on and off again. Which is okay. It comes and goes so I don't mind. It's when a song is consistently stuck in your head for hours and days that it drives me up the fucking wall.
I watched Death To Smoochy last night for the first time in a long time. I love that movie. I love the Irish Mafia characters, especially Tommy, she cracks me up. It's a pretty ridiculous movie and a little odd but I just love it.
My boyfriend and I took YB to see Ice Age 3 last week. I liked it. YB liked it. Boyfriend liked it. I love the Ice Age movies though. I dig most of the characters and seriously, the baby dinosaurs that Sid tried to take over in this movie? They're too freaking adorable. I know, they're just cleverly animated cute little things but still, adorable as fuck. And the character Buck? Rocks. Just sayin'.
My boyfriend heads back to Texas this weekend. So sad. I wish he didn't have to go but alas he must. It's been great getting to spend time with him. I think it's only going to be a couple months before we see each other again. Here's hoping for that anyway. A couple months feels so much longer being 2,000 miles away from each other. Hopefully that won't be the case much longer though. *fingers crossed*
I've been playing Sims on my DS too much. It's so fun though. So is LEGO Batman. And Guitar Hero. I love my DS.
I've been playing my DS too much though because I've been slightly neglecting the new Laurell K. Hamilton book I've had for a while now. I'm only 85 pages in but the book came out in early June so yeah, lol. Normally, I would have probably been halfway through the book. So far, I'm liking it though. I can't believe it's book 17 in the Anita Blake series though. Fucking hell, I didn't realize I had read so many of those damn things.
My laptop battery is about to die and I'm not going to plug it up. I've been up almost 22 hours now so I'm going to take my ass to bed and get some sleep.
Hey y'all! I don't have much time because I have to be at work in about an hour but have to leave in about half an hour, lol. It's hard to get motivated to go to work at 11 AM when you were at work until 1 AM the previous night, lol. Having 9 hours away from the job just doesn't seem long enough but oh well, lol. I do love working the day shift on Monday. Monday nights are so slow and I don't have to deal with that madness anymore so yay.
Okay so I posted about this a while back. Today is the last day to vote so I'm posting it again and asking you to PLEASE take 1 or 2 minutes of your time and all go vote again. Yes, I'm talking about VU and the race for the Most Inspiring Blog award.
The category page is at: http://www.socialluxelounge.com/blogluxe/ Select the "Most Inspiring Blog" category
Find Violence UnSilenced in the list
Click the "Vote" button
Fill in a name and email address
Click the SECOND "Vote" button to register your vote
It only takes a minute or two and it's worth that much (and a lot more) so please head over there and vote. Today is the last day you have to vote so please, your one vote does count for something here folks. I fully support what the people at VU are doing. If you've never checked out VU, don't forget to do that too when you have the time.
I haven't pimped some blogs in a while so I figured with my limited time to post today, I'd do that. I have about 20 minutes to post and then I have to get ready for work and head out for work. I'm really hating not having the internet working late at night. Totally fucks my posting, browsing, emailing and game playing right up. Buh. Anyway.
I just went through my list and plucked out some blogs that I really enjoy stopping by and reading. Blogs that if I don't see for a week, I'll spend time catching up on what I've missed when I finally do get to visit again. Some I've read for a long time, others not so long. Give these people a try (if you don't already) because well, they all pretty much rock. =o)
Thanks for the comments and emails I got on my most recent sex toy review. I might just have a follow up post of sorts to come here one of these days soon. ;)
Also, thanks to everyone who wished my guy a happy birthday at the start of this week. *grin* Comments, emails, tweets and even the one who left a comment on my tagboard. Y'all rock and we both appreciate it.
I haven't had the chance to respond to a lot of emails and haven't been updating regularly or getting to read blogs regularly because.... my internet service is still sucking. It doesn't work pretty much from midnight until whenever in the early AM. I don't get home from work until after midnight from work almost every night. It's usually between 1 AM and 3 AM when I'm getting home from work. Getting up by 7 or 8 AM isn't on my to do list either. So I'll just be posting in the afternoon from now on until the stupid fucking company my internet is provided by gets their shit fixed. No, I don't live out in the sticks and yes, they have been notified about the problem. They're aware. It's not just me but everyone in this area who gets the interwebz from this company that's having issues. Grr to them. So anyway. Who do all of you get your internet service provided by and how happy are you with them?
I was sitting outside with my boyfriend at around 2 AM last night/this morning (depending on how you want to look at it.) I wasn't asleep so despite it technically being morning, it was still dark and my day had yet to end so it was night to me, lol. The complex sprinkler system started up and got to wetting the grass like it normally does about that time. It was still really damn warm outside and I was hot. So, I had the idea to go take a small walk through the grass and get sprayed by the sprinklers. The water coming out of those things is always cold. I'm a little impulsive and my only thought into things like this is generally, "Why not?" Upon the idea and the "Why not?" I had pop into my head, I pretty much had no reason for not doing it. So I got up without saying anything and started walking towards the grass to the chilly water misting out from the little sprinkler system. My boyfriend didn't say anything, just sat forward a but and gave me a look that was part perplexed, part intrigue and part "What the fuck is my crazy girlfriend doing now?" I'm used to that look so it doesn't phase me one bit. The water started hitting me and damn was it cold water. Damn did it ever feel good against my very warm skin. Then after about a minute, when my jeans were soaked and I was sliding in my flip flops, I potential reason why not to go play in the sprinklers at 2 AM popped into my head. I was fully dressed. Then I shrugged that off because really, that wasn't a good enough reason to stop me. Especially since I had already started and was already plenty wet. I was walking around and acting a little goofy in the grass and then a thought occurred to me. I thought about how odd it might be for a neighbor to look out their window at 2 AM and see a fully dressed chick walking and twirling around in the sprinklers. Which made me giggle to myself. After a few more minutes, I was substantially wet and much cooler than I had been. I went inside to shake out of the wet clothes, dry off and get into comfy dry stuff.
A lot of the times, I get happy about the simplest things. That six or seven minutes spent being a goofball in the sprinklers put me in a better mood. I cooled down and had fun. Sure if people had seen me they would have probably thought I was odd or a little crazy. If I cared much at all about what people thought about me, I wouldn't do or say half (or more) of the things I do and say.
Another thing is, I may be impulsive but I have fun and I don't ever regret not doing something I wish I had. Mostly because I do what I want as soon as I can feasibly do it. I've had several things happen that I could have and possibly should have died and that gave me a healthy appreciation for the here and now and the fact that you're not guaranteed any amount of time. People always think, "Oh I can do that tomorrow or next week." Tomorrow isn't a given. Hell, the rest of the day isn't even a given. I don't abandon all responsibilities and do whatever I want whenever I want. I just don't put things off all the time just because I think I can do it later. I know a lot of people who think I'm reckless, immature, childish, foolish, afraid to grow up, stupid, mental, unrealistic and a lot of other things just because I am a bit impulsive, spontaneous and adventurous. I don't just think about things, I like to do them. I'm only here a limited amount of time and I don't know when that time will end. Those several things I mentioned at the beginning of this paragraph (almost drowning in a lake, having a gun held to my head and another pointed at my face during a robbery, to name two of those) weren't clearly planned or expected at all. Things just happened and people can't control a lot of what goes on in their own life. If wanting to enjoy life and not sit around watching it pass me by, thinking of the fun things I could be doing, even when they are just little simple things (going to get ice cream just because I feel like it, walking in the rain, dancing in the sprinklers at 2 AM, unplanned road trips, etc) makes me immature, irresponsible, foolish and all the like; then I don't want to be the opposite of any of those things anyway. I also happen to think I'm quite responsible and mature despite my antics so there. =p
Hooray for the Dallas Stars FINALLY picking up a defensemen. About fucking time. We need some help on our defense. We have plenty of guys who can skate fast and score goals on offense. We need some defense and we need a GOOD back-up goalie. Then in the draft they just picked up O-man after O-man and let plenty of promising D-men slip on by getting picked up by other teams. *sigh* We need to get some big d-men so we can handle all the huge ass power forwards other teams have. Our defense is built with a bunch of averaged size guys who get slammed and knocked down a lot by those big, impressively agile power forwards other teams have. When you've got some beefy guy who's built like a truck and stands at 6'5" on his skates charging two dudes who are both 6" even on their skates and have to partially combine their weights to reach what this big guy coming at them weighs... well, if he runs into one of them, they're probably going down. Which happened a lot last season. Our d-men are fast as fuck but if they're getting charged into by some big ass boys, their speed isn't helping them out too much. See? Even when hockey season is over, I'm still ranting about hockey, lol.
That's all for me today. I have to back away from the laptop and get some stuff done before I have to work tonight.
