Clearing out some monkey's from the attic...

• I hate the phrase "brain dump" for some reason. I'm not really sure what about it I don't like but I'm not a fan. Though, I don't really have a better snappy little phrase for it. Maybe I'll come up with one. Or not. A friend of mine's grandmother always has the oddest little phrases for things. Her phrase for a "brain dump" is "clearing out some monkey's from the attic." I've heard her use it many times but it still makes me laugh every time she says it or I think about it. It's not overly funny honestly. The way she says it is amusing. My friend asked her once what it meant or if she had any reasoning behind saying it. She replied, "Reasoning? Fuck if I know. You want a reason? Alright, I'm old and I say what I want and I think it sounds frogdamn cute. And if you had some monkeys in the attic, my guess is you would want those shit flinging bastards out of there. Thoughts taking up needless space in your mind are like those shit flinging monkeys, they got to go because if you leave 'em there unattended they're just going to stink the place up." That's not a typo, she says "frogdamn" and "frogdammit" quite often. :)
  

• Making a status update literally every 10 to 15 minutes about how much fun you're having at a party is pretty telling on the fun you're not really having. There's a story there but I'm not getting into all the details of it. I'll say someone I know is trying to make an ex jealous by posting 4 or 5 status updates an hour whenever she's out at a bar, event, with friends, at a party, etc talking about how fun it is, how many hot guys are hitting on her, etc. This has been going on for a little over a week now, every damn day. I don't even check Facebook regularly and it's driving me crazy. She asked me about it last night, my opinion on if I thought she looked stupid and obvious, and I answered honestly. Huge blowup ensued and it got ugly. Anyway. :)

• My dad is coming for a visit! He gets in town tonight and is leaving on Tuesday. I'm excited since I haven't seen him since September last year. One of the big reasons he's coming in to town is because my youngest brother is playing a hockey game at the American Airlines Center on Sunday. He's super excited. Hell, I'd be excited, too. He gets to dress in the same locker room as the Dallas Stars, walk their tunnel, set on the same bench they do and play a game on the ice in the building they play in. That's pretty badass. I'm happy dad will be here to see that and I'm excited for my brother, I know he's excited for it. :D

• I have occasional bouts with insomnia. Which I'm going through currently. It sucks. I literally can't sleep until I'm exhausted to the point of not being able to physically stay awake anymore and then I don't sleep for long and it's a restless sleep. I don't take sleep aids because honestly, none of the several I have tried worked for me. On the plus side of that, with nothing to do late at night, I've gotten a ridiculous amount of writing done for a project I'm working on. I was worried about making my deadline at first and now I'm close to done with almost 3 weeks left still.
  

• I like to look for the silver lining in everything. ;) I don't always find one but sometimes I do and that makes sucky things, well, suck less.
  

• I'm excited for the Stars game on Saturday. I got tickets to the game as one of Shane's (the boyfriend has a name!) Christmas presents. I also got him tickets to the Lightning game on the 20th as well as some DVDs. He's so easy to buy for. Hockey tickets are always an acceptable and very much loved gift and I always benefit from that one, too. I got an extra ticket to Saturday's game so he could bring someone else, too. He's bringing a co-worker who likes hockey but I don't think she's ever been to a game before. I'm so glad he picked her because we've hung out before and she's super cool. I always get excited when I meet a new girl I can actually get along with because I don't tend to get along with girls very often. The last game we went to was on New Years Eve (you know, that one where the Stars outplayed the Bruins and won 2-4? ;D) so it feels like it's been forever since the last game I was at. I do realize two weeks isn't forever or even that long at all but it feels like longer than it really is. :p

• One of my biggest pet peeves is not having consideration for others. I don’t think everyone needs to be prim and proper but most people need to get slapped with basic manners so hard that they never forget those basic manners, ever.

• Here recently, I've gotten quite a few messages on Tumblr about gay marriage and why I support it. I have a feeling it's probably the same person but since whomever it is poses their questions under "anonymous" I have no way of knowing. Since my last two responses (here and here), the messages have gone from questions to outright hate mail, basically. I had 12 messages waiting for me in my inbox yesterday when I logged in. I deleted them all because they were rude, hateful and I saw no reason to respond to any of the garbage in there. They weren't questions or even just disagreeing with me, they were just name calling and talking shit. I can accept that people don't agree with my opinions on things. I also accept that as someone who is open about beliefs and rather vocal about the things I support, I'm going to have to deal with trolls like this one. I just think it's stupid. I'm hoping ignoring them will make them move on. That usually works. Until then, I'll just keep deleting all the name calling and anti-gay bullshit they throw my way.

• People that do nice things for others "just because" without ulterior motives or expectations are awesome. People that do nice things for others "just because" only in hopes that they'll get something out of it presently or in the future fucking suck. People that do nice things for others "just because" but throw it in your face later on to try and use as a guilt trip or a manipulation tool really, really fucking suck. If you do that, you're an asshole.
  

• Also? I'm not overly rebellious or defiant for the sake of not being told what to do (though I'm not the biggest fan of people telling me what to do, lol) but when someone tries to guilt trip me into something, it pisses me off and makes me not want to do it that much more. Even if it's something I'm iffy on doing, guilt trip me and that's it, not happening.

Looking at my blog stats recently, on top of comments and emails from you guys, it's ridiculous how many people come here and read the stuff I type out into the blogosphere. Ridiculous in a good way, mind you. Thanks so much for reading and thanks for those that leave comments and/or send emails or respond to stuff via Twitter. Y'all are awesome. ;)

Happy Thursday!

Stuff to think about....

******************

“As time goes on, you’ll understand. What lasts, lasts; what doesn’t, doesn’t. Time solves most things. And what time can’t solve, you have to solve yourself” — Haruki Murakami

******************

******************

“I must not fear. Fear is the mind-killer. Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration. I will face my fear. I will permit it to pass over me and through me. And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path. Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain.” — Frank Herbert

******************

******************

“Shallow men believe in luck; strong men believe in cause and effect.” —Ralph Emerson

******************

******************

“Ships in harbour are safe, but that’s not what ships are built for…” —John Shedd

******************

Happy Wednesday!

Wherein I rant about bisexuality & narrow minded people...

First: TOMORROW is the last day to make a paypal donation to my Toys for Tots fundraiser. Once again, thanks so much to everyone who has donated or helped out in some way. You're all awesome, lovely, generous people. <3 Moving on...

******************

I was with a male friend of mine recently. He wanted me to help him pick out some new clothes because he was meeting his new girlfriend's parents for the first time and he wanted to look a little nicer than his usual ripped up jeans and a tshirt. I tried my hardest to get him to pick another female, any other female, because I hate shopping. And that was the reason he wanted me to go. He knew I would just want to get in, get shit taken care of and leave. So, I agreed and off we went in search of something he wouldn't be horribly uncomfortable wearing yet still look nice in.

In one store we went into, we had the amazing joy of running into an ex-girlfriend of his from a little over a year ago. We attempted to avoid her but she saw us and rushed over to say hello.

I had changed my hair style up since she had last seen me, which she noticed and had to comment on. The exchange went like this:

Heather: "Wow Ashly, your hair looks great like that. I like it all wavy and messy in layers."

Ashly: "It's usually wavy in messy but the layers is new to you. Thank you."

Heather: "You're welcome! And it really does look cute. And so you know I'm not coming on to you or anything so please don't think that."

Ashly: "Why would I think that?"

Heather: "Oh because if I remember right you're bisexual, correct? I just didn't want you to think I was hitting on you, that's all. No offense."

Except, shit like that is offensive. Or more so in my opinion, completely fucking obnoxious. It doesn't offend me so much as it just pisses me off but I do know some people that it does offend. Either way, it's a narrow minded and judgmental way of thinking. Of course, Heather isn't the first girl to jump to that conclusion and think I'll assume she's hitting on me because she said something nice to me. Or the first to assume that since I'm bisexual that I clearly just want all the vaginas everywhere all the time.

I hate the assumption that because I'm bisexual, I CLEARLY must want every woman in the world. So no woman can compliment me without me taking it as her trying to get into my panties and thus I can't compliment a woman unless I'm looking to get her into bed. Which of course I am doing that because she's a woman and being bisexual means I want every woman alive, okay.

It's ridiculous and it happens far too often. I'm very open about my sexuality and in doing so, I face a lot of crap for it. So sometimes when I compliment or just say something nice to another girl, it turns into awkwardness due to them acting weird about it because they assume I'm flirting with them.And I'm not talking random girls here, I'm just talking girls I know mutually through other friends and in a few cases people I thought were good friends. It's hilarious in that "that's pretty homophobic and judgmental and not funny at all" kind of way that me complimenting them is a come on. Whereas a heterosexual female could have given the same compliment and not a second thought would have been given about it after all the gushing over said compliment ended.

I don't flirt with every girl I see. I'm actually quite picky and don't find myself attracted to most girls. Which goes against another narrow minded misconception but we'll leave that one alone today because this would get pretty long if I attacked every stereotypical misconception about this subject. Trust me, if I'm flirting with you, you'll know it. I don't flirt with any female I already know isn't interested in girls anyway.

Just because I get a compliment from another girl doesn't mean I'm going to assume she wants me. I don't take it as anything more than it's presented as; a compliment. It's not that hard of a concept to understand.

I can compliment someone on their hair, a particularly badass shirt, a piece of jewelry, their overall appearance that day etc, and it doesn't mean anything more than that; just some truthful kind words given with no intentions other than to be nice. Just because I say you look pretty in something doesn't mean I'm attracted to you and want to send you into orgasmic bliss the first chance I get. It's highly unlikely that's the case and assuming so is pretty arrogant on top of being obnoxious, homophobic, judgmental and stereotypical.

Whew. Now that I got that out of my system for the time being.... Please feel free to comment with any thoughts or opinions you have. Comments are always much appreciated, especially on rants like these. :)

Happy Thursday.

And remember, tomorrow is the last day to get in a Toys for Tots donation. And thanks again to everyone who has helped in some way. Xo!

Hey comedian, you're maybe gay so clearly you're not funny anymore...

I work with some rather homophobic people. This tends to annoy the hell out of me but it's not something I can really do anything about. This is an actual conversation that took place during a slow period at work the other day.

Employee: "Did you know that comedian Daniel Tosh might be gay?"

Me: "So?"

Employee: "That would suck. I'd feel differently about him if he is gay."

Me: "Really? So being gay is suddenly going to suck all the funny out of him and someone you found formerly hilarious just won't be funny anymore because he might be into men?"

Employee: "I don't think he'll be less funny but I'll just feel awkward watching him knowing he's into men. Plus he tells gay jokes and if he's actually gay, they won't be funny anymore because it's like he's making fun of himself to make it less of a big deal that he's gay and not just making fun of gay people for the hell of it."

Me: "That's ridiculous. If he is gay and does make gay jokes to try and make it less of a big deal, good for him. People shouldn't focus on that anyway. It has no relevance what so ever to whether he's funny or not. If he likes to date men and watch gay porn or go hit up guy bars; whatever. It has no bearing on whether he's funny or not."

Employee: "You don't get it because you support that kind of thing. You can't see it from my point of view."

And he's right. I can't see it from his point of view because I'm just not ignorant enough to think someone possibly being gay is a good reason to stop enjoying them as a comedian. I've personally never even seen any of his videos or anything so I have no idea whether I'd find Tosh funny or not. I do know his sexual preference wouldn't influence me one way or another.

We debate this for another 10 minutes before I give up. We've had this conversation so many times over the last few months. The starter and the scenario are always different but the principle of the debate is the same. We don't ever agree.

I don't even want to entirely change his mind. I understand that not everyone will be comfortable with homosexuality. Which is sad but I realistically know that there won't be a day where every person on the world is comfortable and accepting of it. I just want him to stop letting someone's sexual preference color his view of them as a person. It doesn't define who a person is. It's just another part of the tons of parts that makes someone who they are. Maybe one day I'll get into his head enough that he'll learn to think of someone as an individual with a personality, full of characteristics that make them who they are and stop lumping people together by their sexual preferences and judging them based on that alone. No one should be judged or discriminated against because of their sexuality.