The ballpark & a birthday....

Today is my mom's birthday. So, HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOM! Thanks for all that you do and have done. I'm working tonight but I have Saturday free to spend with my mom to celebrate her birthday since I couldn't get tonight off. We're going to lunch and going to the Stars/Sabres game (my family loves sports too you know :D) that evening and I'm not sure what else if anything will be going on but that will get figured out. :D

Also today?

TONIGHT IS GAME ONE IN THE WORLD SERIES. THE TEXAS RANGERS ARE MAKING THEIR FIRST WORLDS SERIES APPEARANCE.

They're facing the San Francisco Giants.

This is so fucking awesome. :)

I'm so jealous of the few people I know that are going to get to go to one of the games. I actually made it out to the Ballpark to see three baseball games this season. With my schedule and finances, that's awesome. I'd fucking love to go to a World Series game to see my team play, though. How cool would that be?

Have any of you ever gone to a major game to see your team play? World Series, Stanley Cup, etc.

I've been to tons of regular season games for both the Stars and the Rangers through out the years. I've gone to several Stars games during their playoff efforts.

I've never gone to see a Mavericks game. Yet. I need to find some basketball fans so I have someone to go with since none of my friends or boyfriend can stand to watch basketball and I really don't want to go to a game alone. I need someone to enjoy it with me. ;)

And the Cowboys, well, I've never been a big enough Cowboys fan to care about going to the games.

Some of my best memories as a little kid were getting to go to Rangers games with my family. My dad worked so much, we didn't see him or do fun stuff very often with him. He was always at work or doing something for work and really just not around too much. It always made doing stuff with him seem extra special because it didn't happen all the time. Going to baseball games with my family was one of those times we all did something together and it was fun. I remember always hoping to catch a ball, be it a home run or a foul ball, as it came slicing it's way through the air into the seats. Watching everyone destroy bags of peanuts and feeling sorry for the workers that would have to clean up all those shells. My parents letting us get the little ice cream sundaes that came in the Rangers batting helmet. Those are so rad. Yes, are, not were. They still do that and I still think they're awesome. :D

Watching baseball always makes me miss playing. That was also another favorite part of my youth. I played for years and I was pretty good, if I do say so myself. I don't miss playing in tournaments where we played 8 games or more in a single day. In July. In that fucking Texas heat. Even with that, tournaments were still fun as hell. I still like to play catch and hit the batting cages when I have the time to do so. Batting was always my favorite part of the game. I remember the first time I knocked a ball over the fence. I've loved the sound of the ball connecting with the bat ever since that day. That crack is such a happy sound for me.

I do love hockey more than baseball which is why I tend to talk about it more. Baseball always will be my second love in sports, though. I love the game and I have so many happy memories of playing and watching. And this season for the Rangers so far has added a shitload more to the good stuff in sports memory bank. ;)

Happy Wednesday!

Go Rangers!!!! :D

Floating on air...

My mom, Youngest Brother and Little Sister came to visit yesterday. They live about 90 minutes away now that they've moved back to Texas from CA. My mom's birthday is this week so myself, LS and YB went shopping for birthday cards and gifts. Then the four of us went to dinner after our shopping. Then there was some driving, some looking at things and various places and then it was back to my place to drop me off 9 hours later. They drove home and made it back safely. It was a nice visit and I had a great time spending time with them. :)

Saturday, I'll see them again. We're going to the Stars vs Sabres game. We got 4 free tickets for the game. The Sabres are one of the teams I haven't seen the Stars play against live. I'll be able to cross them off my list after Saturday. My goal is to see at least every team in the NHL at least once. I'm about halfway there now. Too bad hockey tickets aren't cheap, lol.

I have a job interview today and another tomorrow. I haven't quit or been fired from my current job. I do have reasons for looking for another job, though. I'm just not ready to get into all of that right now. So, wish me luck on my interviews. Please?

The car needs new tires. Driving to work Saturday was semi-scaring because of the pouring rain from the thunderstorms. And I know, it's important to take care of those things because it's dangerous and blah blah blah. I know. I can't afford new tires at the moment so I'm just being extra careful with driving until I can get it taken care of.

It's a little after midnight right now as I'm typing this out and I'm so freaking tired. I don't get to see the Boyfriend much. Our work schedules clash a lot but he loves his new job quite a lot so I'm happy for him. I admit, I don't have trouble falling asleep without him but I do miss having him there anyway.

If you don't follow me on Twitter, you didn't see my burst with excitement about this so I feel a need to post it here, too.... THE TEXAS RANGERS ARE GOING TO PLAY IN THE WORLD SERIES!!!! I'm still not tired of saying that, lol. Fuck yes. That's such a beautiful thing to type really. Mmmm. :D Now, if only I could type a similar sentence for the Stars having to do with that certain Cup. *sigh* Though, they're off to a good start this season. I'll talk about that another day, though.

Last but certainly not least, if you haven't already, PLEASE check out my Toys For Tots blog post. Also, if you post about it please let me know so I can link to you for doing so. Also, if you want to post about it on your blog in the hopes of getting people over here to donate; I wouldn't mind and please let me know if you do. :)

Oops, I lied. One last thing. I posted this on my Tumblr blog. I reblogged it from one of the great girls I follow because it's so relevant to Tumblr and hell, the internet in general.

Happy Monday!

What does it mean to be a lesbian?

My little sister had this video posted on her Tumblr page. I watched it twice. I don't know why but I just couldn't focus on it the first time so I had to watch it again. Please watch it. You need 5 minutes and to be able to have the audio on to listen to this girl talk.



Now, what do you think? About the video, her point of view, anything this made you think and/or feel; please share. I do want to hear what any one of you have to say, though. I might even edit my post for tomorrow with some quotes if I get some comments that make a point I want to quote. I just ask that you be respectful.

Happy Thursday!

I wanna put you in a song....

Rangers VS Yankees Game 4 of the ALCS was last night. Rangers won 10-3. Which puts them up 3-1 over those Yankees. One more win for my Rangers and they're going to the World Series. How fucking exciting is that?! Well, unless you're a Rangers fan, I suppose it's not incredibly spectacular. For me (and other Rangers fans) it's FUCKING GRAND. :D

I posted this picture on my Tumblr last night:



Broken camera glass makes for some really badass shots.

I worked during the game so I didn't get to see much of it. I saw bits and pieces up until the last 30 minutes of the game when I finally got to focus on it. Damn work, getting in the way of my ALCS enjoyment. :p

Game 5 is at 2 PM. If the Rangers win, they'll knock out the Yankees and be in the World Series. The game will be played in NY. Winning it at home in Texas would be cooler but as long as they win, I'll be happy. It would be pretty sweet to knock NY out in NY. Of course, there's still a chance that the Yankees will make a come back. Go Rangers! :D



I got home from work last night around 11 PM. I got a shower and put in some Boy Meets World. I got Season 1 & 2 for $10 from Best Buy. The Boyfriend is working the 5 pm to 2 am shift at his job for the next couple months so I was looking for something to keep amused that didn't take much thought or effort. I always need to chill a couple hours after work to decompress. Even if I'm tired as hell, I still can't go to bed right away. It's funny watching shows I loved as a kid now that I'm an adult. I pick up on all the slight innuendos and adult humor subtly hidden in the dialog of the show. :D

I would like some book recommendations. I don't like romance or mystery books. I prefer sci-fi, fantasy, horror, sports, fiction, non-fiction, biographies, true crime and pretty much anything that isn't too fluffy. So, if you're reading a good book right now or have a favorite you love to rave about; feel free to pass along the title and author's name this way. :D

I love cupcakes, muffins, plaid, Crunch Berries, Edgar Allen Poe poetry, pomegranate lemonade, vanilla scented candles, clear lip gloss, history, knee high socks, How To Train Your Dragon, Orbit BubbleMint gum, crunchy peanut butter, penguins, Tumblr and flip flops. Among other things. ;)

If you haven't already, make sure you check out the fundraiser post here. Please and thank you! It only takes a few dollars to make a difference and help someone out. :)

Happy Wednesday!

The Threes Meme....

Don't forget to check out the Toys for Tots Fundraiser post. :D Please and thank you.

I was on a blog reading something someone had requested I check out and ended up seeing this meme being played by them as well. It looks interesting enough so I figured I'd give it a go. For today, anyway. Check it out Mimi Queen of Memes if you want to play along.

3. Where were you 3 hours ago?
It was 11 so I was laying in bed still since I worked late last night and didn't get to bed until after 4 AM.


3. Is there anything pink within 3 feet of you?
Nope. I don't own anything pink. :)


3. Name the 3 scariest places in the world.
-Dentists office.
-Any shopping place in mid to late December.
-Grocery store in the last couple days before Thanksgiving.


3. Name the 3 loveliest sights you've seen lately.
-Changing leaves on the trees.
-A bold rainbow after a gorgeous storm.
-My bed with freshly made sheets after a long night at work.


3. Name the top 3 Bands in the year you were born.
I don't even know... I'm thinking Madonna, Phil Collins and Bryan Adams are safe 1985 bets. :D


3. Walk to your front door. Go outside and get in your car. Drive 3 miles East. Describe 3 things you saw on your way.
I'm not literally doing that but I know the neighborhood and exactly 3 miles east of here is a huge wooded area with lots of trees, a creek and a few coyotes.


3. I, Queen Mimi, have sentenced you to a 3-day diet of your most sinful cravings.
What will you be partaking?
Pizza.
French fries.
Ice cream.


3. Go back to question #3. Change the first word to "travel" and let me know if you survived.
I'll hold a room for you in the dungeon in the meantime.
I survived but just barely. Had this been a few days before Thanksgiving or mid to late December, I might not be here typing this right now. :p

Happy Tuesday!

Oh, hi...

I don't work until late in the morning but I had to get up at 6 AM anyway. Car is fucked so I had to get up with the boyfriend so we could drive to his job and then I could take his car to my job. Then since I'm only working a short shift, I'll be off in time to pick him up when he's off. We'll be doing this until the other car can be fixed. We both work too far away from work to walk & public transit isn't an option since we live right outside of Dallas currently. Seriously, can't wait until we can move back out on our own. :)

On the plus side, he did buy me breakfast this morning. Mmm.

Also, tonight is the Dallas Stars home opener!!! Against the Detroit Red Wings. And we got tickets! (Over a month ago, actually lol) In pretty good seats, too. I'm so flipping excited. :) I'm hoping my shift at work goes by quickly. It'll be the first game ever that I'll have to watch my favorite hockey player play against us. It's going to be so weird seeing Modano in a Red Wings jersey. It's odd seeing it in pictures. In person, on the ice, against us? Weirdness. Even though I want my Stars to kick ass tonight, I so can't promise I won't be happy if Month happens to score a goal against us. He's been my favorite player since I was 9 years old. No way can I hate on him, even if he does play for the Red Wings now.

Anyway...

It's around 63 outside right now. It feels pretty nice. My perfect weather is around 70 but I'll take something in the 60's over it being in the 90's any damn day!

People always get really surprised when they find out I like some country music. I don't "look like" I'd listen to it, apparently. It always amuses me to see people trying to guess the kind of music a person likes by the way they look.

I went somewhere with my mom and two younger siblings last night. A show at a nice little theater in Dallas. They were doing wristbands and the guy was going to give me an under 21 band. I wasn't drinking in the first place since I'm currently not doing any boozing anyway but still. My mom laughed and told the guy I was 25. He checked my ID and laughed. I shrugged and said I was used to it, I get my ID checked all the fucking time. He grinned and said, "well of course you do with that baby face!" Bah. I don't think I look that young, dammit. :p A lady in line told me to enjoy it and hope that people always think I'm younger than I am. I replied that I know, that way when I'm 80 people will be all, "oh honey you don't look a day over 75!" Seems silly to me now since I don't get hung up on age or getting older. Maybe when I'm 80 I'll feel differently, haha.

Which reminds me.... Most of the people I work with thought I was 19-21. I agree I look young but hello, 25 isn't old in my opinion. I don't think I look like a teenager, though. *shrug*

Okay, that's all I have I guess. I'm typing this out on my blackberry so I have something to do. Killing time at the boyfriend's office before I have to head down to my job. Fun times, heh.

Happy Thursday!!!

Go Stars!!!!!! :D
Sent via BlackBerry by AT&T

OMG YES!!!

Last night was Game 5 between the Texas Rangers and the Tampa Bay Rays. RANGERS WON! AL Division Series champs, y'all! :D Yes, this is a BIG DEAL for Rangers fans. The Rangers are finally in the AL Championship Series and that's something that has never happened with this team before. I believe we're the only team in the MLB to never make it one single time to the ALCS. Until now! It's kick ass to see them doing so well. We face the Yankees next. Bring it! :D

Another reason to love this team? They did something special for Hamilton so he could celebrate with the team. Addiction is a hard thing to live with and Hamilton was going to pass on the celebration to avoid being around booze. They made it so he didn't have to miss out and that was a wonderful thing to do.

"Josh Hamilton’s teammates weren’t going to celebrate without him this time.

As soon as the Texas Rangers hugged on the field and headed for the tunnel following a 5-1 ALDS Game 5 win over the Tampa Bay Rays, the clubhouse attendants told Hamilton to get his goggles on.

“I was getting a little worried,” Hamilton said. “I didn’t know what was going on.”

Hamilton, who has battled drug and alcohol addiction, said it’s best for him not to be around champagne. So he walked into the clubhouse to find his teammates waiting on him and holding bottles of Canada Dry ginger ale.

“Everybody yelled ‘Ginger ale!’ and I just jumped in the middle of the pile and they doused me with it,” Hamilton said. “It was the coolest thing for my teammates to understand why I can’t be a part of the celebration, and for them to adapt it for me to be a part of it says a lot about my teammates.”"

FUCK YEAH. :D

Here are some pictures. If you want more, my Tumblr page is full of Rangers pictures at the moment. I have a tendency to post them when I come across one I like but after last night's win? I might have flooded my page with pictures of the Rangers celebrating. :D

Happy Wednesday!

Soul searching...

I was hanging out with my friend at Starbucks yesterday and we were looking over some books and talking about one in particular we mutually love. I was talking and laughing and smiling, which is what I do. A lot. He remarked that he doesn't know anyone who smiles and laughs more than I do. He says I'm so refreshing to be around because I'm so often just laid back and happy.

I laughed and told him a year ago, he would have hated to be around me. Two or three years ago, he would have hated to be around me. I wasn't so laid back. I wasn't so easy to get along with. I wasn't happy most of the time.

I'm the happiest I've ever been in life. I was so miserable and unhappy for so much of my life and my biggest issue was wanting to be happy but not really knowing what to do to get there. My biggest problem was myself. I was so hard on myself about everything. I won't get into it all here because it's more personal than even I want to get. I also had quite a few issues to deal with that I had kept held in and pushed down for far too long.

In January this year, I was looking at myself in the mirror one day. I had been crying so hard that I'd ended up throwing up until I was dry heaving. I had mascara and eyeliner dried up all over my face. Swollen eyes from all that crying. I wanted to scream at the girl looking back at me to stop being such a fucking mess.

In May, same thing on a different day. That time, for some reason, was different. I don't know why, I just know it felt different. I wasn't sure what to do but I knew I couldn't keep going on like I had been. I shuffled off to the bedroom and laid down in bed, turning the Pandora app on my phone on. A song came on and two parts of the song really hit me.

"If we're gonna make this work, you gotta let me inside even though it hurts. Don't hide the broken parts that I need to see."

"Like it or not it's the way it's gotta be, you gotta love yourself if you can ever love me."

Those lines really hit me hard and got me thinking. The song is about love between a couple, but it got me thinking about so much more than that. I started doing a lot of soul searching. I started thinking about why I was unhappy, what was hurting me, what was stressing me out. A few things, I couldn't change. A lot of things, I could address and deal with. I stopped stuffing my emotions down when I felt a certain way. I let myself cry when I felt like crying instead of pushing it back and letting myself get angry over whatever I was going to cry about.

By July, I was feeling better about myself. I felt lighter. I felt like a lot of baggage had been lifted because really, it had. I wasn't sleeping more than I needed to. I wasn't ignoring text messages and phone calls from friends. I wasn't crying on a regular basis. I wasn't mentally beating myself up. I was improving and growing.

By mid-September, I was even better. I had dealt with a lot of things, come to terms with some things, truly let go of some toxic people that needed to not be a part of my life and learned how to take it easy on myself. I forgave myself for things I had blamed myself for for far too long. I did so much soul searching and so much emotional and mental purging that it was exhausting at times, lol.

It's October now and I've still got some shit to work out. I still have a few things in my life that I'm not satisfied with but that I'm working to change. I know there will always be little things here and there but some of what's left are things that can be fixed, that need to be fixed. And they will be. I've changed in a lot of ways but I'm still the same girl. I've just grown, a lot. I've become the person that I wanted to be, that I knew I could be, if I just had the strength to overcome things and be that girl.

I wake up and don't ever contemplate staying in bed all day anymore.

I haven't laid on the floor or laid in bed sobbing in months now.

I haven't had an anxiety attack in 2 months and haven't had to take any medication for anxiety in 2 months.

I haven't looked in the mirror and disliked the person I saw looking back at me in months.

I don't have much to my name. I'm still trying to get on track financially from being unemployed for almost a year. I'm still struggling to keep my head above water with some things but I don't let it stress me out as much anymore. I still have some work to do and some improvements to make and I still struggle with not holding all my feelings and stuff in; but I'm doing better and will keep doing better.



I took this picture yesterday at some point in the evening. I was tired, my make-up was messed up, my hair was a mess but you know what? It's the first picture I've taken of myself in months where I'm actually smiling and look happy. :)

It hasn't been easy getting here but I'm damn happy for the most part. It makes everything in my way, everything that I still need to work through and other road blocks that pop up out of no where so much easier to look at and deal with.

Happy Tuesday!

Make my day, bitches...

I'm going to be doing my Toys for Tots fundraiser post soon! I had a post for it scheduled for last Friday but I had an issue with something and delayed it. I'm excited to get to do it again this year. Hopefully I can get a good amount of people to help out again. I had fun and it's such a great cause. Look for that post sometime this week. I have some stuff to get set up with it and then it'll be up, running and ready for donations. :) Woohoo! :D If you don't know what I'm talking about, click here to check it out. :)

I'm just going to do some miscellany today. I have some semi-serious stuff I've been contemplating blogging about but for now, I'm so tired that I'm just not feeling it.

So, here is a "Halloween" themed survey I pulled off Tumblr. :)

What was your first Halloween costume?
I don't even know. The first one I remember was a rock star. I should find a picture and post it on here one day. xD

What costume did you hate?
I don't think I've ever hated one. I've always picked my own and wouldn't pick one I didn't like.

What are you going to be this year?
I'll be in my work clothes this year because I'll be working.

What was your most expensive costume?
Vampire Zombie. I couldn't decide, so I decided to combine the two and make my own costume.

What was your favorite costume?
Vampire Zombie! :D

When was the last time you went trick-or-treating?
When I was 18, lol.

M&Ms or Skittles?
Skittles, I'm not a chocolate fan.

Berry or Tropical Flavored candies?
I like both.

White, Milk, or Dark Chocolate?
I can do dark chocolate but again, not really a fan of chocolate.

Sour or Sweet?
Sour.

Chewy or Crunchy?
I like both, just depends on what it is.

Cloddhoppers or Whoppers?
I have no idea what cloddhoppers are and I dislike Whoppers so neither.

Chocolate-covered: Raisins or Peanuts?
Neither. I dislike raisins and don't care much for peanuts. Or chocolate, lol.

Starburst or Gobstoppers?
Both!

Bubble gum or lollipops?
Lollipops with the bubblegum inside! ;)

NERDS or Pop Rocks?
NERDS.

What was the first horror movie you saw?
I don't remember what it was called but it had these ridiculous little creatures in them that were spiky and there was a farm. That's all I remember. I was at my grandparents house for the weekend being "sneaky" and turned on the cable and watched it. Then didn't sleep all night, haha.

What was the last horror movie you saw?
I don't even bother watching horror movies these days, they're so laughable to me. I do love Rob Zombie's movies, though. They're not scary but they're pretty well done.

Zombies or Aliens?
ZOMBIES.

Ghosts or Vampires?
Either or. As long as they're not fluffy vampires like the ones from the Twilight books.

What is the goriest movie you have seen?
Hostel is the only one that is coming to mind right now but that wasn't too bad.

Who is scarier: The Ring girl or The Exorcist girl?
Uh, neither, lol. I guess if I have to pick, The Exorcist. The little twin girls in The Shining are way creepier than both of these chicks, though. ;)

Who is Scarier: The Saw clown or the Chucky doll?
The Saw clown I guess (even though those movies are ridiculous) mainly because clowns creep me out. Also, I didn't get the Chucky thing. Step on him, rum him over with a car, pick him up and smack him around, drop kick him, punt him like a football; it's a fucking 2 foot tall doll for crying out loud, lol.

What did you like better: Goosebumps or Are You Afraid of The Dark?
ARE YOU AFRAID OF THE DARK! I watched that show all the time when I was a kid. I loved the Goosebumps books, though.

What do you prefer: Resident Evil or Silent Hill?
Resident Evil.

What was the scariest video game you have played?
Meh, video games don't scare me, lol.

What are you doing for Halloween this year?
Probably going to have to work. :( Which is a bummer since Halloween is my absolute most favorite holiday.

What is your biggest pet peeve about trick-or-treaters?
When you give them candy and they complain about not liking what you gave them. Or when they don't say anything and just stand there with their bag held open.

Do you like going to the fun theme haunted houses that are designed to try to scare the pants off of you?
No, I don't ever get scared so it feels like a waste of money, lol. It is fun to mess with other people, though. :D

What was your favorite jack-o-lantern you helped carve?
When we did Jack Skellington themed jack-o-lanterns! :D <3

That was fun. Ish. Lol. If you decide to do the Halloween survey, make sure you comment and let me know you did it so I can come check out your answers! Please. :)

Now, I leave you with a couple pictures that are posted on my Tumblr.




I want a fucking cake like this! How awesome would that be?! Mmm.

*Ahem....*



If you don't follow me on Tumblr, you totally should. :)

Happy Monday!

Little Sister...

My younger sister and I follow each other on Tumblr. She goes through phases were her "ask box" gets hit with a bunch of questions. One of the questions she answered yesterday was one that asked who her favorite 7 people are. She listed me as one of them and the answer she gave made me get a little misty eyed.




I've had other people tell me I've been inspiring to them in some way. It always gives me a wonderful feeling. It makes me happy to touch someone's life in a positive way. It means far more to see my little sister say that. We didn't start getting along well at all until the last few years. There were a lot of reasons why we didn't get along and why we had a bad relationship but those reasons aren't relevant right now. She'll be 20 in November and I'm glad we get along well now because I'm lucky to have such a level headed, intelligent, awesome sister that I have a good relationship with.

Happy Tuesday!